a stone is just a stone

[vagabond]

a stone is just a stone
 
still
and dead
how close then
would I have to get
 
to see
to feel
the atoms dance
and sparkle in the void

[Brownlie]

a stone is just a stone
 
still
and dead
how close then
would I have to get
 
to see
to feel
the atoms dance
and sparkle in the void

I don't know crap about physics or anything really, but wtf is stone from a word standpoint? It's a memorial artifact or some crap or the constituents of rocks? Hardly dead to me considering we have to say it's a stone or some bull crap. Plus dead means something was living. Don't you have sympathy for the natural world? Can't these goddamn rocks be unfettered from our pointless feelings? Sheesh, it's enough to make me weep.

[vagabond]

i am sorry i made you weep.
stone is just a metaphor.
i admit that it may be indecipherable

[nibbed]

a stone is just a stone
 
still
and dead
how close then
would I have to get
 
to see
to feel
the atoms dance                                           ~I love these last two lines, especially. VERY poetic.
and sparkle in the void




Hi vagabond

I think this poem is very courageous, and beautiful. I didn't know how to approach it because it seems perfect. Stones can come in many forms, but they are all just stones. Sometimes they might hurt, even destroy. Sometimes they are even beautiful and don't hurt at all. I thought about when we hit two stones together and it makes sparks. This poem is very true.

I hope you are blessed today, vagabond.

janine

[CRNDLSM]

Took me a while, but I just don't like the spacing 

a stone is just a stone
 
still
and dead
how close then
would I have to get

to see This too close to 'to feel' I'd say lose one, but maybe just move it

to feel
the atoms dance
and sparkle in the void

[vagabond]

close but not the same, and (pathetically enough) necessary for the sake of the rhythm.

[rayheinrich]

Good poem... especially the visuals of gradually increasing stanzas.
Rocks look roundish, but down close they're a whole bunch of geometric crystals.
I think the disyllabic meter echos the symmetry of the crystals; and it fits the words to the dancing.

For us, death depends on time; for rocks, death depends on size! Just love this idea.

Ray

P.S. If the rock were made of quartz, you'd need to be able to resolve down to about 5 angstroms
using x-ray crystallography to "see" it. Luckily, seeing the sparkling can be done with the unaided eye;
and feeling... well, just grab the thing.  

(The dancing, and other of the qualities, can also be detected using the science of psychotropics.)

[vagabond]

For us, death depends on time; for rocks, death depends on size! Just love this idea.

i had a different idea  and I don´t quite understand yours.  but i am glad you did find some meaning.

[rayheinrich]

For us, death depends on time; for rocks, death depends on size! Just love this idea.

i had a different idea  and I don´t quite understand yours.  but i am glad you did find some meaning.

Happens to me all the time: I'm just about to understand something and suddenly
a different idea comes along and I never get to that understanding.
adhd

[67eager]

I really enjoyed reading this poem. It is very clearly yet beautifully executed. To me you seem to be talking about perspective; the unreliablility of human perception. To us, a rock is a dead, unanimated object, yet on an atomic level, there is just as much energy going on as there is on any object, no matter how inanimate it may seem in the larger view. To me, this poem seems to be advising us as humans to be aware of the obscure layering of the world around us, before making definate judgements about things. You've done a very good job.


a stone is just a stone
 
still
and dead
how close then
would I have to get -I don't know what the technique of adding 1 word each phrase is called, but I really like it.
 
to see
to feel
the atoms dance
and sparkle in the void -This is a beautiful closing line
[/quote]

[rayheinrich]

            still
            and dead
            how close then
            would I have to get
           
            to see
            to feel
            the atoms dance
            and sparkle in the void

[billy]

it creates an image of vibrancy and merriment.

a stone is just a stone
 
still
and dead
how close then
would I have to get
 
to see
to feel
the atoms dance
and sparkle in the void

[Achebe]

visuals of gradually increasing stanzas.
 

That's it. I wasn't being able to place what I liked so much about this poem
Lovely work

---

visuals of gradually increasing stanzas.
 

That's it. I wasn't being able to place what I liked so much about this poem
Lovely work 
The tension builds up beautifully and explodes quietly into fireworks in the last line
Well done