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12-14-2016, 06:20 AM
I fill my poems with rudeness and crudeness / so if I get rejected / I can just say / ''You only rejected me because I'm so crude.'' / I drop names of powerful editors --- I use famous poets' names / in vain. / I call Hercules a faggot, / and say Abraham Lincoln didn't really care about black people . . . . . / . . . . . . I sometimes forget what I was going to say . . . / But I say it. / And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and a blunt is a gutted piece of paper . . . and the tobacco taken out and replaced with a poisonous cunt that's really a man. / Sometimes a rapist is just a lonely victim.
And sometimes, somewhere there's a little girl crying, and I want to say that it's my fault, but I can't.
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(12-14-2016, 06:20 AM)rowens Wrote: I fill my poems with rudeness and crudeness / so if I get rejected / I can just say / ''You only rejected me because I'm so crude.'' / I drop names of powerful editors --- I use famous poets' names / in vain. / I call Hercules a faggot, / and say Abraham Lincoln didn't really care about black people . . . . . / . . . . . . I sometimes forget what I was going to say . . . / But I say it. / And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and a blunt is a gutted piece of paper . . . and the tobacco taken out and replaced with a poisonous cunt that's really a man. / Sometimes a rapist is just a lonely victim.
And sometimes, somewhere there's a little girl crying, and I want to say that it's my fault, but I can't.
Beautiful, in a... well, beautiful way. Truth hurts, and I feel your pain.
 Non-practicing atheist
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I've always felt, not known but felt, that I have no technical skills. But I want to write anyway. But I don't want to be one of the sorry suckers who self-publish and go around getting suckered by suckers who aren't suckers tricking you into believing you're a sucker who's been sucked in by suckers you don't know are suckers. In a similar fashion, when it comes to comments, I don't get what people are talking about. Somebody could say something as simple as 2 plus 2 equals 4, and in that moment, it wouldn't make any sense to me. And along those lines, I'll just say that I don't know anything after I write a poem or a story. Which is a long-winded, roundabout way of saying I don't really know anything. I improvise in the moment, and that's about it. I have never read Shakespeare in my life, but if you mention him in conversation I can quote from him and go deep into analysis of his work for ten hours straight or at least until I fall asleep. And that's what I always mean to say: I wrote
before I ever read. And that's not a self compliment. It's just to say, my philosophy is just to make stuff up and get concerned about it later. . . . My work plan is to say something that doesn't make sense, and a few years later say something that makes it, and everything else in the world, in that connection, make sense.
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(12-14-2016, 06:54 AM)dukealien Wrote:
harry potter apparently 
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@ rowens i enjoyed it till the last line. the content of the last line didn't bother so much as it felt tacked on for the sake of something to tack on. i think i'm saying it was tacky  oh and the cigar line was uber cliche but still worked well in getting across that you are who you are. as opposed to the last line
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Well, Billy, if you're talking about the last line that I stopped the whole thing and then tacked on, then you're right. That's why I posted it in a separate post. But, like I said, I don't know anything, so I don't know if it's a bad thing you saying that it sounds tacked on when that's exactly what I wanted it to sound like, tacked on. So maybe you're mocking me. And I think you were only using the prefix uber to mock Freud, who was German.
And when I say German, I mean French.
And when I say French I mean Jewish, and when I say Jewish I mean American, and when I say American I mean English. And when I say anything I mean Mormon. Because if you apply jazz to the Book of Mormon you have the secret to my success. Which is the password to get into the bar in the movie Horse Feathers, which I can't remembre.
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Everything I say in response to the comments on my poems are extensions of the poems, and not necessarily my personal opinions, since I don't have a personality.
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oh right, now you're making sense.
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(12-14-2016, 02:22 PM)rowens Wrote: Everything I say in response to the comments on my poems are extensions of the poems, and not necessarily my personal opinions, since I don't have a personality. i suppose that's the golden rule with workshopping forums:
when you defy criticism, defy it with style.
i remember reading somewhere (maybe gleaned from Frye) that all criticism exist in worlds of their own, just as all art exist in worlds of their own -- if art is the middle man between realization and the individual, then criticism is the middle man between art and society. i also remember reading somewhere (maybe on a review of the video game The Beginner's Guide) that all criticism was a fruitless endeavors, misapplying either broad truths or really off-the-mark personal details to the works of art they comment on. luckily, i treat this forum more as a technical workshop, where we're free to indulge in the most subjective, most biased comments possible -- comments on style -- all for the sake of shaping others' pieces into forms we better like, or forms we think would be better liked (but in truth would probably be better liked only by our peers, never as numerous as they seem), and really, though that's kinda destructive, the poet dies when his art is given up to his readers, anyway, and i suppose that's the real point of a forum such as this. so, returning to the piece, what can or should i Criticize? maybe in twenty years -- like The Beginner's Guide, it defies Criticism. but what can i criticize? like billy said, that last line reads superfluous -- the penultimate line, too, but in that case it's a way that reads more integral, the intended superfluity you mentioned rather than the imitation Bob Dylan i read. otherwise, lovely work.
and here i hope i imitated right, if this were imitation at all.
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