House-Raising (Senryu)

[dukealien]

House-Raising (Senryu)


Our people live in
buildings foreign men erect -
friends house-raising?  Dead.

Another one about houses.

[Lizzie]

House-Raising (Senryu)


Our people live in
buildings foreign men erect -
friends house-raising?  Dead.

Another one about houses.

Even though it's a bit nonsensical, I keep reading:

'buildings foreign, men erect'

My silly brain.....

[dukealien]

House-Raising (Senryu)


Our people live in
buildings foreign men erect -
friends house-raising?  Dead.

Another one about houses.

Even though it's a bit nonsensical, I keep reading:

'buildings foreign, men erect'

My silly brain.....

Gordon R. Dickson wrote a scifi serial/novel titled "Tactics of Mistake."  I say no more   .

[RiverNotch]

It's not nonsensical! As has been said before, artists turn all things to smut, and an aroused man is a homely man.

But cheese, now I'm reading it like that. As for what I get, I get a sense of almost-feeling, but I can't be sure if it's one kind of resentment or another, whether the speaker is being wry or sad. And "foreign men" -- I mean, it's not comforting, but somehow it sounds positive, it's the introduction of something new, something perhaps better -- unknowns don't necessarily mean bad things, especially under the Christmas tree. Basically, the whole piece feels like a puzzle, only it's not, its story and everything is so clear -- but not clear in the sense of an image being concretely there, it's a senryu -- such that the feeling, I can't be sure if it's good or not.

[Lizzie]

House-Raising (Senryu)


Our people live in
buildings foreign men erect -
friends house-raising?  Dead.

Another one about houses.

Even though it's a bit nonsensical, I keep reading:

'buildings foreign, men erect'

My silly brain.....

Gordon R. Dickson wrote a scifi serial/novel titled "Tactics of Mistake."  I say no more   .

This morning it's even worse: all I can see is

'...buildings. Foreign men erect -'

You've just got to choose a different verb, that's all there is to it.

Ok fine, I'll check out that book.

[QDeathstar]

"Tactics of Mistake" sounds like it might be where the D-man got his strategy for running for president???

[dukealien]

@Pdeathstar - Something very like.  In the primaries, Mr. Trump induced his competitors to attack him in ways which only served to further differentiate him from them, increasing his visibility and that of his policies.  The result was that he won (the nomination).  At the moment, the frenzy attacking him in the general election looks more and more desperate, throwing his only real competitor's character, history, and policies into sharp focus and an unflattering light; it also highlights unfairness, hypocrisy and untruthfulness of the attackers.  I don't know if Mr. Trump ever read the story, but if he has, he probably approved both the gritty determination and tactical finesse of Dickson's Dorsai heroes.

@RiverNotch - Cheezes on the gross, I did have a particular image and story in mind while writing that little senryu.  But if discomfort and ambivalence result, it may lead to examining assumptions.  Good for you!

@lizziep - Just saw a hashtag which highlights the problem of what is seen but is not there.  It's

#HateFreeNYC

I presume its form resulted from limitations on hashtag names - no spaces or punctuation possible.  But there are at least two ways to read it, depending on how you fill the implied space before "Free" -

# Hate-Free N(ew) Y(ork) C(ity), or

# Hate Free NYC

In the first case (probably what was intended, from context) the inventor meant to advocate suppressing expressions the inventor considered hateful.  In the second (ironically, what the first actually reveals), the inventor loathes a city where free expression is permitted... including that with which he violently disagrees and therefore disingenuously labels "hateful."  In other words, while the second reading is unintended, it is also the factually correct one.