ways of looking at ants

[just mercedes]

edit #1 (but who's counting?)

ways of looking at ants

they’re
automotons that
the sun wakes, sets moving
they all look the same to me
one way wrong way on the
freeway may day ants build
bridges  with their bodies
to food in a bowl with a
water filled
moat
and they’re all really just punctuation marks: period.
comma,
exclamation!
{parentheses}
question?
hyphen-
(brackets) (brackets) (brackets) (brackets) (brackets)
a queen
directs them
makes them
work hard
their
legion siblings, fellow hatchlings, post pheromones
near
the highways
‘stay on the
track’
we
attract
then attack
poison kill colonial
solutions to restive native
populations guaranteed
to return a gentle tap of
feeler on face a message
‘take care humans are
staring it must be
going to
rain’

original

ways of looking at ants

automotons
sun gets them up
sets them moving
they all look
the same
to me
one way
wrong way
on the freeway
may day
ants build bridges with their bodies to
food
in a bowl
with a water
filled moat
they’re
all really punctuation marks: period.
comma,
exclamation!
{parentheses}
question?
hyphen-
(brackets) (brackets) (brackets) dash
a queen
directs them
keeps them
busy
their
legion siblings fellow hatchlings post
pheromones
by their highways
‘stay on the track’
we attract them
then attack
poison
kill
colonial
solutions
to restive native
populations guaranteed
to return a gentle tap of
feeler on face a message
‘take care humans are
staring it must be
going to
rain’

[Brownlie]

ways of looking at ants
 
 
 
 

automotons

sun gets them up

sets them moving

they all look

the same

to me

one way

wrong way

on the freeway

may day

ants build bridges with their bodies to

food

in a bowl

with a water

filled moat

they’re

all really punctuation marks: period.

 comma,

exclamation!

{parentheses}

question?

hyphen-

(brackets) (brackets) (brackets) dash

a queen

directs them

keeps them

busy

their

legion siblings fellow hatchlings post

pheromones

by their highways

‘stay on the track’

we attract them

then attack

poison

kill

colonial

solutions

to restive native

populations guaranteed

to return a gentle tap of

feeler on face a message

‘take care humans are

staring it must be

going to

rain’

 

That's pretty good. Even got the six legs in there.

[just mercedes]

Pedant.

[billy]

now that's a concrete an poem

one of the best i've read/seen

are two of the legs something else as this one seems to be a Chernobyl ant with eight

[just mercedes]

now that's a concrete an poem

one of the best i've read/seen

are two of the legs something else as this one seems to be a Chernobyl ant with eight

They walk too fast to count the legs.

I've changed it, but the line spacing has doubled - could you please fix it? Please?

[Brownlie]

Lol. The poem is actually very good. Three or six legs doesn't really matter (actually thought there were six legs when I first read it).

[billy]

look at how it was done by clicking on full edit jm. copy and paste keeps too much formatting and makes for messy stuff.

the edit looks more concrete

[just mercedes]

look at how it was done by clicking on full edit jm. copy and paste keeps too much formatting and makes for messy stuff.

the edit looks more concrete

I do click on full edit billy, but I have to copy and paste the revision, don't I? Or copy and paste the original, to revise it? And that's when it always screws up for me.

[billy]

i meant look at the lay i did by clicking on full edit, it should give you some ideas, when pasting remove all formatting and set up you own here on the site.

normally i just put the original in quotes as i did with yours, to get it as it is i removed all the code and re did it as most of it wasn't needed and just created line spacing. hope it helps.

[CRNDLSM]

if i had a copy of this it would be framed on my wall