Each Unchanged Recorder Loses Underneath The Malicious Daylight

[shemthepenman]

With a kiss that takes away the pain
and the pain that's just beginning,
I watch her dancing in the rain
to the storm that's started singing.

[Lizzie]

I think you and I need to have a discussion about the meaning of the word "fun."

[shemthepenman]

this is an old one i wrote this for a girl when i was about 15. anything post-30 is a fun poem as far as i'm concerned.

[Lizzie]

this is an old one i wrote this for a girl when i was about 15. anything post-30 is a fun poem as far as i'm concerned.

Show off

Well, no more excuses for you, then!

I was still learning to write my name at that age. Not really, I was busy memorizing scripture verses and the books of the Bible backwards. My parents didn't believe in real literature -- it was full of poor morals and debauchery.

[RiverNotch]

I'm kinda weirded out by "loses" in the title, since I keep thinking the "loses" there refers to the transitive verb. Also, I scoff at your fifteen year old! When I was fifteen, I flipped love off, teabagging it at every opportunity!
....well, not really. But I wish I did. So many hormones....

[shemthepenman]

this is an old one i wrote this for a girl when i was about 15. anything post-30 is a fun poem as far as i'm concerned.

Show off

Well, no more excuses for you, then!

I was still learning to write my name at that age. Not really, I was busy memorizing scripture verses and the books of the Bible backwards. My parents didn't believe in real literature -- it was full of poor morals and debauchery.

funnily enough, the reason i posted this was because i found this old self-published [basically i printed it] poetry book. it's like 80 a4 pages of poetry between the ages of about 14 and 20. anyway, the 'funnily enough' thing is that the first half of the 'book' is based on the old testament. each poem's title corresponds to a title of the old testament. just weird you should mention it. ps. i meant pre-30. and also, wasn't showing off. for every one good one i wrote back then i have about 100 really REALLY bad ones. it's merely the art of selection.

[UselessBlueprint]

this is an old one i wrote this for a girl when i was about 15. anything post-30 is a fun poem as far as i'm concerned.

I have burned and deleted those sorts of things. Some are still ingrained in memory, but hopefully not for much longer.

[shemthepenman]

I'm kinda weirded out by "loses" in the title, since I keep thinking the "loses" there refers to the transitive verb. Also, I scoff at your fifteen year old! When I was fifteen, I flipped love off, teabagging it at every opportunity!
....well, not really. But I wish I did. So many hormones....

the title is an issue, granted. again, any suggestions are welcome.

about the 15 thing, i wanted to be a poet ever since i can remember and feel in love with a girl when i was about 14. i still love her now.

[Lizzie]

funnily enough, the reason i posted this was because i found this old self-published [basically i printed it] poetry book. it's like 80 a4 pages of poetry between the ages of about 14 and 20. anyway, the 'funnily enough' thing is that the first half of the 'book' is based on the old testament. each poem's title corresponds to a title of the old testament. just weird you should mention it. ps. i meant pre-30. and also, wasn't showing off. for every one good one i wrote back then i have about 100 really REALLY bad ones. it's merely the art of selection.

I want to read these! I wonder what the Leviticus one was like? The I and II Chronicles ones? The I, II, III Kings???

[Leanne]

I love the girl you love, or loved
when rain washed her colours across years
and danced her here. In my mind, she
and you are 14, true, and free to become
poetry, or tragedy, or the tears that pool
in the breath of tomorrow.

[shemthepenman]

funnily enough, the reason i posted this was because i found this old self-published [basically i printed it] poetry book. it's like 80 a4 pages of poetry between the ages of about 14 and 20. anyway, the 'funnily enough' thing is that the first half of the 'book' is based on the old testament. each poem's title corresponds to a title of the old testament. just weird you should mention it. ps. i meant pre-30. and also, wasn't showing off. for every one good one i wrote back then i have about 100 really REALLY bad ones. it's merely the art of selection.

I want to read these! I wonder what the Leviticus one was like? The I and II Chronicles ones? The I, II, III Kings???

I HAVE THEM!!!

maybe will post them. leviticus is actually pretty funny.

---

I love the girl you love, or loved
when rain washed her colours across years
and danced her here.  In my mind, she
and you are 14, true, and free to become
poetry, or tragedy, or the tears that pool
in the breath of tomorrow.

ouch!

[RiverNotch]

this is an old one i wrote this for a girl when i was about 15. anything post-30 is a fun poem as far as i'm concerned.

Show off

Well, no more excuses for you, then!

I was still learning to write my name at that age. Not really, I was busy memorizing scripture verses and the books of the Bible backwards. My parents didn't believe in real literature -- it was full of poor morals and debauchery.

funnily enough, the reason i posted this was because i found this old self-published [basically i printed it] poetry book. it's like 80 a4 pages of poetry between the ages of about 14 and 20. anyway, the 'funnily enough' thing is that the first half of the 'book' is based on the old testament. each poem's title corresponds to a title of the old testament. just weird you should mention it. ps. i meant pre-30. and also, wasn't showing off. for every one good one i wrote back then i have about 100 really REALLY bad ones. it's merely the art of selection.

oooh, 80 pages of endless poetry! so far, i only have, like, thirty, but then my little collection's very selective and like formatted and junk (xD). although i do have a collection that contains a ton of the junk, it's just not in doc form -- one is in text form, and the other's in another site, the one where i started getting into poetry. and yeah, i guess i only started when i was, like, sixteen -- i liked poetry before that, but not really like liked writing it.

but every book of the Bible? did you include the deuterocanon or the anagigoskomena? and if you did, did you do what the king james version did and split off susanna, prayer of azarias, etc? xD

and dang, Leanne! poetry for fun -- not poetry made in fun, but filled with tears! xD but lovely stuff.

[Achebe]

When I was 15, I was in love with a girl that I'd met when I was 14. We had a turntable and my cousin, since dead, gifted me a 33 1/3 LP of Paganini. Whenever I heard 'Variations on a theme by Rossini' I thought of her. She had a notebook of mine with some feeble attempts at imitating Kahlil Gibran, and liked it. I believe her boyfriend was a gym rat, but she liked my notebook, and that gave me quite a kick.
A year later, they moved to another city. This was pre-internet, so that effectively cut us off. At 19, I tried to track down her dad's co-ordinates by visiting the local branch of the company her dad used to work in, but got nowhere. When I got off the bus, it started to rain and I got drenched. I felt like I was living a movie, and that got me somewhat thrilled, enough to write a few poems.
I still don't know what became of her, thank god.

[Lizzie]

She had a notebook of mine with some feeble attempts at imitating Kahlil Gibran, and liked it. I believe her boyfriend was a gym rat, but she liked my notebook,

This makes me think of how cuttlefish mate for intelligence. The brawny guys often get tricked by the smart ones, check out this article on cuttlefish.

[Todd]

I love the girl you love, or loved
when rain washed her colours across years
and danced her here.  In my mind, she
and you are 14, true, and free to become
poetry, or tragedy, or the tears that pool
in the breath of tomorrow.

Love the poem Leanne though following Shem's titling conventIon this would probably be Exodus for the freedom, if he were to have gotten together with her it would be Joshua.

I'm so tempted to try doing this.

[Todd]

In the original poem, Line 2 is a strong observation and I love how you ended this. Much better than anything I wrote at 15.

[Lizzie]

I'm so tempted to try doing this.

If you're taking votes, I say Yeeessssssss

[just mercedes]

It's so cool that you still have your early writing. I moved so many times I lost track of them all, except one in the school magazine when I was 15. I didn't write poetry again for 40+ years.

What I like about your poem is its adult awareness of loss, and fleeting things - it almost reaches through time, for me.

How long since you wrote it, I wonder. 20 years?

---

I love the girl you love, or loved
when rain washed her colours across years
and danced her here.  In my mind, she
and you are 14, true, and free to become
poetry, or tragedy, or the tears that pool
in the breath of tomorrow.

We need an emoji for 'awestruck' for the way you picked it up and ran with it. And knit together with such slant rhyme and enjambment.