:/

[Vanity]

Lunch at Panera
My ex-boyfriend stops to talk
Brocolli in teeth

[ellajam]

I enjoyed this, it says in a few words how people lose their beauty to eachother after some time and space. You might consider "by" instead of "to talk". Thanks for the read.

[RiverNotch]

Ugh, the subject's the kind of ungraceful I despise -- obvious teeth-dirt! Ugh. Milk mustaches! ugh. Stickers and price tags! ugh. Mass rape, murder, and mutilation! nice. Must be some sort of OCD or something -- my psychiatrist says it might. Otherwise, the poem does its job, and the title is just too funny --

I've never actually experienced a proper breakup, though, so all this reminds me of is this: http://www.octopuspie.com/2016-05-11/900...-held-out/ but no, that's actually emotional. This may be so, but it's too high-and-mighty sort of funny to be so, I think. Again, nice work, aside from the whole image of it (xD)

[justlikeyou]

Nice pivot! I think "teeth" is important to it in this circumstance.

edit. I mean I think talk is important because unless he talked or smiled how would you know about the brocolli?

[Erthona]

Two asparagus up! (I do agree with ella though)


dale

[ellajam]

I'm now thinking about the possibility of having lunch with the ex and he stops eaking to talk. Still, in that case I'd like speak, something about talk doesn't please me. Anyway, nice and slippery the way a good short should be.