shedding

[justcloudy]

it's been a while. hi again.

Edit 2. Original thread here. 
 

Unforgiving moments of oublie
rip corners off my sense of self
and paper-like they glide away.
 
Chalk in hand, I recall 
a student can play teacher too,
but can’t feel my bouncing pigtails,
nor remember when I switched
hard plastic chairs for plush.
 
Eyes open in the night.
 
I stagger up with bladder bursting,
dissipating dreams more familiar
than this hallway hung with paintings.
 
Tap rushes to scrub my mind;
the mirror eyes me.
Water drips from her forehead, like mine
but she is more poised at 3am
than I manage on the best of days.
 
I trip back to linger
inside dreamland
so glue can stick me back.

[Achebe]

it's been a while. hi again.

Edit 2. Original thread here. 
 

Unforgiving moments of oublie   ...wikipedia tells me that the verb is oublier, oublie being an adjective. But I'm no French guru. 
rip corners off my sense of self
and paper-like they glide away.
 
Chalk in hand, I recall  ...the 'recall' is confusing, but it's really because you're recalling in your dreams. However, coming as it does right after 'they glide away', it reads like a bit of a contradiction. Prefacing this line with a 'Sometimes' might help.
a student can play teacher too,
but can’t feel my bouncing pigtails,
nor remember when I switched
hard plastic chairs for plush.
 
Eyes open in the night.
 
I stagger up with bladder bursting,
dissipating dreams more familiar
than this hallway hung with paintings.
 
Tap rushes to scrub my mind; ...why did you get rid of the "the"?
the mirror eyes me.
Water drips from her forehead, like mine
but she is more poised at 3am
than I manage on the best of days. ..didn't quite get this. Your reflection is more poised than you?
 
I trip back to linger
inside dreamland
so glue can stick me back. ...eye goo as glue (I suppose)...not a pretty picture, but I like it. Ties in nicely with the pieces of paper being stuck back.

Hi - I've read your previous edits. You did well by getting rid of the body sprawled on the bed - it's better to keep the focus on you throughout the poem.

[justcloudy]

Hi Achebe, thanks for the thoughts, I appreciate it!

To answer your questions-- I speak French so don't worry, oublie is a noun as well. And I got rid of the "the" because I never liked it and still don't.

-jc