Valentine

[RiverNotch]

TO MY VALENTINE

Wake me up at the Second Coming
With a breath and your almond perfume--
Lift me up at the Lord's descending
To your breast and the ocean spume!

[Erthona]

You said "spume"!

No really, I've no idea what you're talking about, but it does bounce along very nicely.

dale

[RiverNotch]

The best Valentines
are beaten to death
then beheaded.

Maybe that's better, but of course completely, completely different. Basically, the lover is asking his beloved to be more Jesus than Jesus, yet somehow compared his life-before-death with drowning, because silly me really wanted to rhyme "spume" and "perfume" (there's a proper reason why the comparison was done, but I forgot that watching Deadpool yesterday. The movie....depends a lot on a person's kind of humor. I liked it. But I would have loved it if its satire was, well, actual satire -- the only "cool" thing about it, really, was Ryan Reynolds, who was born to play the role.)

[Erthona]

Elizabeth Barrett Browning was once asked about the meanings of Mr. Browning's poetry. She replied, "There are only two who know what Mr. Browning's poetry means and that is God and Mr. Browning and sometimes I wonder about Mr. Browning."

As I never watch TV, your reference is somewhat pointless. I did when I was a kid, but by my late twenties I found that everything was just a variation on the same tired theme, or themes I suppose. The characters, the set, the costumes, may change and the special effects get grander, but the themes are still all the same and generally even more formulaic. I do confess to watching "Supergirl" and "Scorpion" because my daughter watches those, and from time to time I'll watch the "Big Bang Theory" on occasion with her. My other daughter use to watched such things as criminal minds so I didn't watch anything at all with her except "Bones" although it was wearing as it became so repetitious. I did break down and watch the Super Bowl this year, but that is the extent of my TV watching. I think Marx only said that religion was the opium of the masses because TV had yet to be invented.

The more I think about your poem it sounds like a mashup of two religions. Not really sure who the speaker is, but the female appears to be Venus on a half shell who is being admonished to lift the speaker to her breast (for what purpose I am unsure, maybe he is thirsty) when the Christian "Second Coming" comes. A lot of coming in all of that so maybe that is the reason for the breast. Breast and spume sound like some kind of rebirth process. As where is the speaker being lifted up from? Well, what is below the breast?

OK, that is the end of my daredevil® critique

dale

[RiverNotch]

....wait, what reference? The post verse, or the italicized one? Or Deadpool?--which wasn't really a reference but was me just seguing into, er, millenial inanity.

It is, at least as I composed it -- it tries to represent the whole struggle between sex and Christ and blablabla in a way that sorta elevates both. Something I, as a devout adolescent, should be very fresh with, and very bad at communicating right.