Why?

[rayheinrich]

I was in the middle of writing a retort to all the comments so far, but someone accidently knocked over the bottle of liquor I just got. So I feel like killing everyone and have to wait a half hour or so before making that loss part of my argument.

        My loss IS my argument.

        With cheap "vodka" going for $9 U.S. around here: I not only have no need for fun, but the art takes care of itself.

[QDeathstar]

I'm trying to remember something so obscure that no one will ruin it for me.

Chin up dude, if Qdeathstar can do it, so can you.
(Meta-ruination... just a few blocks away.)

well, now I'm insulted. This topic feels like the end of the Internet. Unread 900 page novels, spilt alcohol and X-files. I'm pretty sure that's how the world will end. Or, that's how my world will end.

[rowens]

I suppose no one who watched the xfiles and drinks liquor and sometimes has to go out after the food stamps run out should be writing a 900 page novel.

[billy]

therein lies your problem; write a 899 page novel

you can get gin or vodka here for 3 dollars us.

[rowens]

I'm not taking up any argument. I'd rather sit around on welfare and disability trying to write at least one good novel. I'd do the same if I had no benefits. I'm asking if my random nights stocking shelves at Food Lion are more reliable in the long run than my pursuits as a novelist and poet. Because a man like me could as well go either way, only I'd be fired quicker one way and ignored the other.

[rayheinrich]

therein lies your problem; write a 899 page novel

you can get gin or vodka here for 3 dollars us.

That was the price for a 1.75 liter bottle; but, considering where your "here" is, you can probably still get it cheaper.
Though, technically, that probably wasn't my point but, since the current bottle seems to be at the .25 liter level
there is really no fucking way I can validate anything.

Novels aren't.

---

I'm trying to remember something so obscure that no one will ruin it for me.

Chin up dude, if Qdeathstar can do it, so can you.
(Meta-ruination... just a few blocks away.)

well, now I'm insulted.  This topic feels like the end of the Internet. Unread 900 page novels, spilt alcohol and X-files. I'm pretty sure that's how the world will end. Or, that's how my world will end.

Sorry, I had always taken you metaphorically. (A really good extended one, BTW.)

And anyway: He still hasn't and even if he does you get full primogenitor bragging rights.

---

I'm not taking up any argument. I'd rather sit around on welfare and disability trying to write at least one good novel. I'd do the same if I had no benefits. I'm asking if my random nights stocking shelves at Food Lion are more reliable in the long run than my pursuits as a novelist and poet. Because a man like me could as well go either way, only I'd be fired quicker one way and ignored the other.

"Fired" is better as it's so much quicker; being ignored takes a whole fucking lifetime.

[rowens]

Well. I can't hold a job. And I've never tried to. We'll all be dead by the time anyone would read a 900 page manuscript I wrote. My queer faith says write it anyway. How would people on here respond to someone with such antisocial ambitions?

[billy]

shitting in someones beer is antisocial.

[rowens]

What if it was my own?

---

For some reason, billy's last response made me have a vivid memory of a family reunion at a park in the '90s. There were no beers. And I have no memories of the bathrooms there. But it took me back. I don't know why.

[billy]

you had an urge

[rowens]

We had Don't Spill the Beans in the attic. We used to play cards at night. The absence of shit or beer just takes me back to when life seemed simpler.

[QDeathstar]

shitting in someones beer is antisocial.

It's also a lot of work. I suggest if your going to shit in someone's beer, kiester the bottle first.


@ray, it's ok, they say it's better to be taken metaphorically than to never be taken at all, and staring down the barrel of limited choices, I'm OK with that.

@rowens, consider the font. You could write both a 900 word and 900 page novel with the right font. People might read it, then.

[milo]

Ok, in all honesty the cheaper doesn't play the largest role, though, to be fair, I would never purchase the $9 paint thinner they call vodka but tend to go for mid grade brandy and bourbon which in my area go for about $35/750 ml (Henessey or Maker's Mark)

There is something about making your own still and crafting your own brandy, bourbon or rum from scratch.  This year, I hope to pick the pears and peaches from my own trees and attempt to create a brandy from them.  Also, the flavor is much better (of course this may be subjective) when you have complete control over the process.

Also also there is never a shortage of likker in my house, I am currently sitting on around 10 gallons in assorted mason jars so feel free to pop in for a drink.

[rowens]

I used to help my friend make moonshine, back before they had a pathetic Moonshine section in the liquor store, and though he was making it to sell, we just kept drinking it, so the enterprise fell through. And not to keep stressing the subject: But The Twilight Zone is my Old Testament and The X-Files is my New Testament, and I don't see anything wrong with that, despite what the doctors say. If I have to be awake for any length of time, I'd just as well be locked alone in a padded or unpadded cell as go fifteen minutes without creating art or experiencing someone else's strong artwork or having absurd religious experiences.

[ellajam]

Ok, in all honesty the cheaper doesn't play the largest role, though, to be fair, I would never purchase the $9 paint thinner they call vodka but tend to go for mid grade brandy and bourbon which in my area go for about $35/750 ml (Henessey or Maker's Mark)

There is something about making your own still and crafting your own brandy, bourbon or rum from scratch.  This year, I hope to pick the pears and peaches from my own trees and attempt to create a brandy from them.  Also, the flavor is much better (of course this may be subjective) when you have complete control over the process.

Also also there is never a shortage of likker in my house, I am currently sitting on around 10 gallons in assorted mason jars so feel free to pop in for a drink.

[QDeathstar]

Careful, 10 gallons of moonshine and an open invite to imbibe sounds like a poor mans Cosby....

[ellajam]

Careful, 10 gallons of moonshine and an open invite to imbibe sounds like a poor mans Cosby....

You peeps are cracking me up.