Convenience

[dukealien]

Convenience


Last week, the afternoon of “garbage day,”
I stepped out to the curbside to retrieve
My emptied trash can, near which neatly lay
Its lid, inverted.  What should I perceive,
But in the bin - not empty after all -
A tiny bag, tied neatly with a bow
So tight its odor wasn’t what you’d call
A stench, but doggy droppings even so?
No Holmes required to deduce from this
That some dog-walker found my empty bin
Convenient, even thought it not amiss
To place Spike’s gathered calling cards therein.
    How should I feel about it?  That bin’s mine!
    But would I do the same?  I guess.  So, fine.

---

(After writing this unromantic sonnet in a spirit of humorous ethical exploration, I learned it touches a serious political issue on the US Left Coast:  some say the material can't be recycled, others that it mustn't go into landfills, either.  Special street-corner bins have been demanded.  Is it true, to paraphrase Ghandi, that the greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animal droppings are treated?)

[ellajam]

Ha, this summer someone put fast-food remains in my empty that I didn't notice, next day had a giant bear at the door crushing the can for a burger scrap. He was a beauty but the can was history.

[milo]

I would probably (and unadvisably) start leaving fast food in my trash can to attract bears. I suppose it is fortunate there are no bears around me, I am having enough difficulties trying to attract owls.

[ellajam]

Bad for people cause you'd have to pick up the garbage strewn all over the road and bad for bears cause they'll be declared a nuisance and be moved or if they're breaking in possibly killed. We still get to see them often enough and friends with acreage see them all the time.

I don't see owls too often, night and all, what have you tried?

Sorry, duke, we don't seem to be able to focus on attracting more gift-wrapped shit.

[milo]

Bad for people cause you'd have to pick up the garbage strewn all over the road and bad for bears cause they'll be declared a nuisance and be moved or if they're breaking in possibly killed. We still get to see them often enough and friends with acreage see them all the time.

I don't see owls too often, night and all, what have you tried?

Sorry, duke, we don't seem to be able to focus on attracting more gift-wrapped shit.

It is terrible to feed bears human food from your domicile.  It leads to a number of problems.

http://www.bearsmart.com/managing-commun...anagement/

http://www.denverpost.com/technology/ci_13023974

I have been mostly following these tips to attract owls:

http://birding.about.com/od/Specific-Bir...t-Owls.htm

[dukealien]

Bad for people cause you'd have to pick up the garbage strewn all over the road and bad for bears cause they'll be declared a nuisance and be moved or if they're breaking in possibly killed. We still get to see them often enough and friends with acreage see them all the time.

I don't see owls too often, night and all, what have you tried?

Sorry, duke, we don't seem to be able to focus on attracting more gift-wrapped shit.

Have you tried ground squirrels?  If you're west of the Mississippi, a good colony of them can attract burrowing owls (which live in the tunnels they dig, and politely refrain from eating their hosts).  I used to watch those little owls in a field next to my house east of the Black Hills, standing outside their burrows to salute the dawn; if they drank coffee, they'd have been drinking it.  

(Of course they'll also bring more conventional owls, but less symbiotically.)

[milo]

Bad for people cause you'd have to pick up the garbage strewn all over the road and bad for bears cause they'll be declared a nuisance and be moved or if they're breaking in possibly killed. We still get to see them often enough and friends with acreage see them all the time.

I don't see owls too often, night and all, what have you tried?

Sorry, duke, we don't seem to be able to focus on attracting more gift-wrapped shit.

Have you tried ground squirrels?  If you're west of the Mississippi, a good colony of them can attract burrowing owls (which live in the tunnels they dig, and politely refrain from eating their hosts).  I used to watch those little owls in a field next to my house east of the Black Hills, standing outside their burrows to salute the dawn; if they drank coffee, they'd have been drinking it.  

(Of course they'll also bring more conventional owls, but less symbiotically.)

Grinding squirrels sounds very messy but i guess I can give it a try . . .

[dukealien]

Bad for people cause you'd have to pick up the garbage strewn all over the road and bad for bears cause they'll be declared a nuisance and be moved or if they're breaking in possibly killed. We still get to see them often enough and friends with acreage see them all the time.

I don't see owls too often, night and all, what have you tried?

Sorry, duke, we don't seem to be able to focus on attracting more gift-wrapped shit.

Have you tried ground squirrels?  If you're west of the Mississippi, a good colony of them can attract burrowing owls (which live in the tunnels they dig, and politely refrain from eating their hosts).  I used to watch those little owls in a field next to my house east of the Black Hills, standing outside their burrows to salute the dawn; if they drank coffee, they'd have been drinking it.  

(Of course they'll also bring more conventional owls, but less symbiotically.)

Grinding squirrels sounds very messy but i guess I can give it a try . . .

Sorry, left out the hyphen.  Ground-squirrels are compatible with burrowing owls; ground squirrels won't work, owls are obligate hunters, they have to hunt live prey.

[ellajam]

milo's problem is bigger than a missing hyphen.

[rowens]

Dogs shit in my yard. I shit in the woods, my neighbor shits in my yard on a bad night. The landfill people have bought up all the wooded area around here. They can cut down trees and expand up into the small yard of most houses around here. Nobody walks dogs, dogs shit, humans shit, I scoop it and throw it in the woods. I tried to recycle before. They said they were going to use recycled stuff to expand the landfill. There is crimescene tape up to separate the landfill from people's yards. The landfill owns all the forest next to my room. I'm just unemployed and antisocial enough to get violent if they start cutting trees down. Pets shitting in the yard is everyday regular.