An End

[shurgaree]

To live hard is to die hard
And you fucking charged
There was no knot left untied
No fruit that wasn't juiced
No bottle left unpunished
and no spark unused

How many fifths we emptied
Parties we fucked up
Long winter nights of destruction
As Canadian Hunter filled our cups
Roses are flowers, but opium too
You smelled all you could but couldn't see it through

Erica my friend it's hard to smile
But you would cry if we were doing anything but that
So we will try to look up
See past the clouds to the sunny blue
You took everything you could from life
So life took everything from you

[vishaksagar]

To live hard is to die hard           -   Why?
And you fucking charged           
There was no knot left untied
No fruit that wasn't juiced
No bottle left unpunished
and no spark unused
                                                           -     Very strange rhyming
How many fifths we emptied
Parties we fucked up
Long winter nights of destruction
As Canadian Hunter filled our cups
Roses are flowers, but opium too
You smelled all you could but couldn't see it through
                                                            -         Unclear to me what you are trying to say
Erica my friend it's hard to smile
But you would cry if we were doing anything but that
So we will try to look up
See past the clouds to the sunny blue
You took everything you could from life
So life took everything from you               -          Last 2 lines don't fit well. Like the lines independently though.

[shurgaree]

Yeah i have no sense of rhyming here I could work on that.

[Tiger the Lion]

Hey shur, a common theme but could be easily tightened. Some personal thoughts below>

To live hard is to die hard will remind readers of a movie. Do you need this line?
And you fucking charged
There was no knot left untied
No fruit that wasn't juiced
No bottle left unpunished I like "unpunished"
and no spark unused

How many fifths we emptied
Parties we fucked up did you fuck up the parties or get fucked up at the parties? meaning before rhyme
Long winter nights of destruction
As Canadian Hunter filled our cups specifics are good 
Roses are flowers, but opium too nope! roses are red... and everyone reads it that way
You smelled all you could but couldn't see it through

Erica my friend it's hard to smile (while all the birds are singing...) careful again where the reader's mind may go
But you would cry if we were doing anything but that
So we will try to look up
See past the clouds to the sunny blue
You took everything you could from life
So life took everything from you

That's a lot said for novice but I kinda liked it and there's my 2 cents.

Paul

[newsclippings]

To live hard is to die hard - I feel like you're quoting Bruce Willis or summit.
And you fucking charged - I do not know what this means in the context of this poem.
There was no knot left untied - Now you're just saying words.
No fruit that wasn't juiced - I don't mind this line. I think you could run with this theme alone. 
No bottle left unpunished - Now we're in a Gatorade commercial.
and no spark unused

How many fifths we emptied
Parties we fucked up
Long winter nights of destruction
As Canadian Hunter filled our cups
Roses are flowers, but opium too - This is good.
You smelled all you could but couldn't see it through 

Erica my friend it's hard to smile - Commas?
But you would cry if we were doing anything but that
So we will try to look up
See past the clouds to the sunny blue
You took everything you could from life
So life took everything from you

Your poem became sentimental towards the end though you wouldn't expect it reading the first stanza. This reads like an unrung towel. You've got some water to squeeze. Thanks for the post shugaree.

-News

---

To live hard is to die hard - I feel like you're quoting Bruce Willis or summit.
And you fucking charged - I do not know what this means in the context of this poem.
There was no knot left untied - Now you're just saying words.
No fruit that wasn't juiced - I don't mind this line. I think you could run with this theme alone. 
No bottle left unpunished - Now we're in a Gatorade commercial.
and no spark unused

How many fifths we emptied
Parties we fucked up
Long winter nights of destruction
As Canadian Hunter filled our cups
Roses are flowers, but opium too - This is good.
You smelled all you could but couldn't see it through 

Erica my friend it's hard to smile - Commas?
But you would cry if we were doing anything but that
So we will try to look up
See past the clouds to the sunny blue
You took everything you could from life
So life took everything from you

Your poem became sentimental towards the end though you wouldn't expect it reading the first stanza. This reads like an unrung towel. You've got some water to squeeze. Thanks for the post shugaree.

-News

Also you could commit to some punctuation. And you don't need to capitalize the beginning of every line. I feel like we do that now to satirize. 

Best--

[mackzmike]

Some lines I especially enjoyed: 

"To live hard is to die hard"

"Roses are flowers, but opium too"

"You took everything you could from life
So life took everything from you"

 

[Erthona]

To live hard is to die hard
And you fucking charged
There was no knot left untied
No fruit that wasn't juiced (consistency - "no fruit left unjuiced")
No bottle left unpunished
and no spark(left) unused

How many fifths we emptied (normal grammar, no reason not to use it, " How many fifths did we empty")
Parties we fucked up (balanced lines: and how many parties did we fuck up)
Long winter nights of destruction
As Canadian Hunter filled our cups (use periods, punctuation is a wonderful thing.)
Roses are flowers, but opium too (opium is not a flower, poppies are, plus I think most people are aware that a rose is a flower, so this comes off as a bit nonsensical, nor is it clear what is trying to be said.)
You smelled all you could (smell, comma before "but" always) but couldn't see it through

Erica my friend it's hard to smile
But you would cry if we were doing anything but that (awkward - "but you would cry if we weren't")
So we will try to look up (Is it difficult to "look up?" - "So we will look up")
See past the (dark) clouds to the sunny blue
You took everything you could from life
So (then) life took everything from you

______________________________________________________________________________

Use grammar - use punctuation - do not start each line with a capital letter unless it is the beginning of a sentence. Not doing these things degrades the poem, it does not enhance it. The level of clarity goes down, the level of confusion and ambiguity goes up. Really, I don't know where people are picking up this "style" it's like a mishmash of several modernist failed experiments. Generally one writes to be understood; grammar and punctuation are not rules someone is trying to impose, they are systems worked out over centuries to make writing as clear as possible. To avoid their use is to make a piece of writing less understandable.
Of course if you are like me you were attracted to poetry because you are a poor writer, grammar is a mystery and punctuation sucks. Plus, most of the poetry text I had read were in the old style where the first of each line was capped (this is due to the fact that this material can be reprinted in anthologies at no charge). This type setting curiosity disappeared in the mid 1950's, partly, I suspect because of advances in technology and partly because poets no longer wore ruffled sleeves and wrote with a feather quill. Whatever the reason, it is much more difficult on the reader if each line starts out as a capital. The only place this remains a standard is with the sonnet and should probably be dropped there. 

Well this is way to long for this forum, so...

Best,

dale