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![[Image: beauty.jpg]](http://wordbiscuit.com/im11/beauty.jpg)
"La belle et la bête" - Bioy Grillet
< poetry and masturbation >
poetry is cheap beauty
most people need cheap
everybody needs beauty
masturbation is cheap pleasure
beauty?
pleasure?
the confusion is inevitable
- - -
Alternate version suggested by Achebe:
< poetry and masturbation >
poetry is cheap beauty
most people need cheap
everybody needs beauty
masturbation is cheap pleasure
same here
- - -
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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(01-12-2016, 11:00 AM)rayheinrich Wrote:
"La belle et la bête" - Bioy Grillet
< poetry and masturbation >
poetry is cheap beauty
most people need cheap
everybody needs beauty
masturbation is cheap pleasure
same here
beauty?
pleasure?
the confusion is inevitable
- - -
Well crafted Ray. The only troublesome line for me is "same here". I realize this line serves a specific function, but I think you could find another way. I wonder if you could give the reader more credit and cut the line completely?
Thanks for the cheap
booty beauty,
Paul
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(01-12-2016, 11:55 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Well crafted Ray. The only troublesome line for me is "same here". I realize this line serves a specific function, but I think you could find another way. I wonder if you could give the reader more credit and cut the line completely?
Thanks for the cheap booty beauty,
Paul
Yeah, you're right. I was a bit tired when I wrote it, I think it was me who needed the explanation.
I took it out... it improves the symmetry as well.
"Booty and the Breast"
Ray
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I think it reads better without the last three lines.
I like the 'same here' - a flash of Nabokovesque cleverness. also, a nice slant rhyme with 'pleasure'.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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(01-17-2016, 09:25 AM)Achebe Wrote: I think it reads better without the last three lines.
I like the 'same here' - a flash of Nabokovesque cleverness. also, a nice slant rhyme with 'pleasure'.
Yes, that works well. Just added this version to the above.
Nabokov? I'd say it was more like Borges.
But what the fuck do I know; it's all pretty much up to the translators.
"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there..."
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Nice picture
I feel like I've seen something like this on Tumblr before! Midly funny, and it is nice to see a more upbeat sexual comparison poem (believe me that category is huge on Tumblr)
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(01-19-2016, 01:04 PM)ClaytonDaury Wrote: Nice picture I feel like I've seen something like this on Tumblr before! Midly funny, and it is nice to see a more upbeat sexual comparison poem (believe me that category is huge on Tumblr)
I'm nothing if not midly funny.
But "sexually upbeat" ? Only if intended as ironic metaphor.
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Hey Ray you could be huge on Tumblr, or so I've heard. As far as the poem goes, the picture is great
Personally I like everything before the "or". In fact I thought you were offering the reader a choice. The first or the second. I go with the first, of course one has to be cautious about doggy style. Maybe cutting a hole in the bed for the fin to slide through. There is one thing I'll say, the only beautiful masturbation is preformed by a woman, men look like dogs humping the air.
When is our next orgy?
dale
PS Instead of calling her "The Beauty and the Beast" I would have called her the "Beautiful Beast".
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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(01-23-2016, 04:47 AM)Erthona Wrote: Hey Ray you could be huge on Tumblr, or so I've heard.
I'm HUGE on Snapchat. (Tumblr isn't hip enough for my entropically dense metaphor.)
(01-23-2016, 04:47 AM)Erthona Wrote: As far as the poem goes, the picture is great
Yes, must agree, words are passé.
(01-23-2016, 04:47 AM)Erthona Wrote: Personally I like everything before the "or". In fact I thought you were offering the reader a choice. The first or the second. I go with the first, of course one has to be cautious about doggy style. Maybe cutting a hole in the bed for the fin to slide through.
Not if she's on top.
(01-23-2016, 04:47 AM)Erthona Wrote: There is one thing I'll say, the only beautiful masturbation is preformed by a woman, men look like dogs humping the air.
Woman look like they're scratching a yeast infection.
(01-23-2016, 04:47 AM)Erthona Wrote: PS Instead of calling her "The Beauty and the Beast" I would have called her the "Beautiful Beast".
You'll have to take that up with Bioy Grillet as he's the one who titled it "La belle et la bête".
Given my SciFi mindset, I'd have called it "SharkMaid".
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