Making People Laugh By William. Marsland.

[billy]

leg braces sometimes lock

weak kneed like the chick
on the edge of its nest
the spastic falls over
that slavering puppy head
cocked to one side
the spastic falls the fuck over
one can't help but laugh
at spastics falling over

walking Monty Python's funny walk
with that ostrich gait
swinging limp lopsided feet
from here to anywhere
trying to knock themselves out
with that gimpy hooked hand
slamming it into a misaligned jaw
one can't help but
laugh at spastics falling over

talking to a spastic is also funny
not as funny as talking to them
after they've fallen over though
climbing up their crutches
in leg locked leg-irons
it's so fuckin funny
because they're stupid spastics

does the head lever help
got the hang of it yet?

yes thanks mum
I fell over three times to day

same as usual then

yeah, at least I can still make people laugh
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please feel free to attack me for this one

[Bianca Alabaster]

hmm, don't know what to think of this one friend. ....

[billy]

whatever it is you're allowed to be honest here
a poem can always be dissected, even attacked. (just don't attack the poet )

to give a little insight into the poem.
i was trying to show that sometimes those we think as stupid and inept
aren't as stupid or inept as we think.
it was also an effort at getting people to see things from another perspective.
whether i got it right or wrong isn't up to me to say lol

[addy]

I guess I better get this out of the way, and say I found the poem very offensive , as it implied that disabled people should feel glad when people laugh at them, ergo its okay (that's how I read it anyway)

Not much to say aout thee poetic style and form... form-wise its very good (Just change weak kneed to "weak-kneed" though).

---------

Hmm... after I re-read it, that ending seems to be quite sad. Perhaps I misinterpreted your point? Did you mean to humanize the disabled child, thus condemning the people who were making fun of him?

[billy]

more or less.
i tried to show that the people who deserve to be laughed, at are not always those who do get laughed at. but what matters isn't how i explain it but how it affects you. both ways are okay

thanks for the feedback as always addy

[addy]

I appreciate how well you took my comment... wasn't trying to tear you down, its just how I truly felt about the poem. It's very mature of you

[billy]

i love honest feedback

in answer to your question about humanizing the spastic/me
i suppose i was but i wasn't condemning those who laughed/society
as much as i was trying to make a statement about it.

i think i was really trying to show that under the right circumstance we can all laugh. even spastics/me

which kinda goes against my previous reply,
maybe the balance lays somewhere between the two replies.

[heslopian]

It's hard to write angry poems without your work becoming slipshod; I've seen a few rage pieces on DU which quickly descend into illiterate rant, and reading them is like watching the most pathetic Jerry Springer guest try and justify themselves.
This, however, was clear and controlled, with a real narrative that begins, progresses, and then ends. I think you should either remove that first and final comma after "yeah" in the last line, or add more punctuation throughout the poem. On its own it just seems sloppy.
I also liked how this was a poem, and not merely an ideologue. Thanks for the read.
I remember seeing this on DU many moons ago, and thought I'd look for it on here. For some reason I thought it was called "Laughing at Spastics" haha.

[Todd]

Hi Billy,

Here are some thoughts I had about your poem. I haven't read any of the other comments so anything I'm saying is solely related to your poem.

This is a tough subject to handle. You have to walk the line of allowing the poem to make your point and at the same time pissing a lot of people off who either don't get it, or don't like your treatment of it.

Not that this makes my opinion any better than anyone else's and I'm not discounting others possible strong reactions but having grown up with cerebral palsy (mild case thank god) I understand a lot of dynamic personally that you're bringing up. I wasn't bothered by your approach at all. I thought your images of the chick and the slavering puppy head were extremely good, and I'm glad you opened with imagery so this didn't become too preachy--albeit in an offbeat way.

In fact, I thought you were dead on with imagery and tone through your first three strophes. I really liked how the speaker's voice came across in this poem.

All that said, the ending sort of fell flat for me. I took away from the poem that a physical handicap doesn't mean a menatal deficiency and that the people who should be held up to ridicule are more often those who ridicule others. But it was more like I processed that through an intellectual understanding of what you were saying. I found the ending either too short though or not satisfying enough to give the emotional punch I wanted.

yeah, at least I can still make people laugh

It's ironic and points to what your saying but God dude must be a saint. Maybe that's a reaction someone would have. I just see a best case scenario being: Fuck em they're not worth it...or something with a bit more heat and rage to it. I know that doesn't make the ironic point. Maybe pull the lense back a bit and see these other people walking away with the same type of consideration they gave the spactic ("Now that...that would be fucking funny). I don't know just a thought.

It was a good read. I just wanted more of a payoff.

Best,

Todd

[billy]

hi, nice critique todd.

i'll certainly takes what you say on board when i do an edit.
obviously i just had a re read of the poem and at first glance i think you have a valid point
re the ending.

thanks for the feedback.