Say

[Tiger the Lion]

Say

sooner or later
it will be tonight

that I finally
have to say goodnight
 
you should know by now
how I love you

I’ve had forever
to speak

and if I might...

[RiverNotch]

Well, this is annoying -- the damn poem is stuck in my head. It's the ellipsis, I think... and if I might Say sooner or later it will be tonight, that I finally have to say goodnight. You should know by now how I love you: I've had forever to speak, and, if I might, Say "sooner or later it will be tonight, that I finally have to say good night. You should know by now how I love you...."

That might be reading it wrong, but it's a good effect for me, if, again, a wee bit annoying. Though it is a bit odd, in that reading, that the speaker would say that he should soon say goodnight, and not just say goodnight, but the disconnect feels natural, a sense of the apprehensive or astute medium behind the speaker's silent love, silence, especially with the symmetry created by the somewhat disconnected (and thus, in terms of being quote or saying, ambiguous) third stanza.

Oh great, now it's really stuck in my head. Now I'm gonna sleep like that time I binge-listened to Madonna....oh God, in my dreams, I thought I was falling, into the groove, proving I was a ray of light, flying into the good feelings of the virgin's insides....

[Wjames]

Yeah, this is sort of a circular poem, and I like it. It's a unique type of poem, with an interesting use of the title. Very compact too, I enjoyed reading it.

[Mark A Becker]

Hey t.lion-  since this is MISC ...

Say

sooner or later
it will be tonight

when I finally say   moved "say" up and broke the line after it
goodnight    struck "have to"
 
you should know   I'd break it here
by now
(I love you)   struck "how", put (I love you) in parens to indicate (unspoken)

struck the whole last part: find another way to circle back to "say"

but how to
find a way to...

my suggested circle back ending.  I took great liberty here, and I wouldn't usually do that (except in MISC)... The only problem with the circle back to "say" is that "say" already appears in the poem, in line 3 (or 4)...
... Mark

[peacejazzspirit]

Say

sooner or later
it will be tonight

that I finally
have to say goodnight
 
you should know by now
how I love you

I’ve had forever
to speak

and if I might...

Hi Tiger, after reading this a few times I feel like my mind is going in figure-eights or something. I have a few thoughts:

1) I think lines 3-4 would read better if you moved 'have' up into the third line:
that I finally have
to say goodnight
just sounds smoother to me.
2) I like the trailing-off at the end that wraps back up to the beginning.

All in all I think it's very good.