England Welcomes Careful Drivers…for Keith

[tectak]

There is, in this fine land, a set of rules;
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools.

But are you really sure which you are
when all you've done is drive off in your car?
Have you touched that  yellow line?
Have you overstayed your time?
Have you gone at over thirty?
Are your main beam lights so dirty
that a policeman, feeling shirty,
states you car’s a tad deceiving
and a fine you’ll be receiving.
At the least you are illegal-
get yourself a legal beagle-
for a rule of law you’ve broken
lost your “Good Behaviour Token”;
are you really, really sure which you are?

I ask you, are you sure which you are
when you set off proud… but don’t get very far?
Did you shoot an amber light?
Did you indicate a “right”
then impulsively turn left
and with sharp intake of breath
see a cyclist steer round death
out the corner of your eye?
Did you feel you’d like to die
when his two-digit retribution
comments on your execution?
Of course, YOU never make mistakes
(when did I last check my brakes?)
Are you really, really sure which you are?

There is, in this fine land, a set of rules;
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools.
But to me it seems a shame
that the rules remain the same
and no leniency is given
when a million miles you’ve driven,
and to drive precisely striven.
What’s a lamp-post now and then
(caused by whiskies, nine or ten);
Or a dent in someone’s boot,
or a past eleven “toot”?
If these comments make you tut
you’ve a legal right to, BUT
are you really, really sure which you are?

tectak
1959 (transcribed from yellow and crumbling Exercise book, thought never to see the light of day again)

[Brownlie]

Not sure if you wrote this or it was in an another exercise book, but I'll give it a go.  However, I think the actual reading or interaction with this old piece of writing may be what's really interesting here.  

There is, in this fine land, a set of rules; -- Fine may be "padded." 
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools. 

But are you really sure which you are
when all you've  done is drive off in your car?  -- The disassociation that occurs in the bubble of a big metal vehicle is a cool topic. 
Have you touched that  yellow line?
Have you overstayed your time?
Have you gone at over thirty?
Are your main beam lights so dirty
that a policeman, feeling shirty, -- Not sure about "shirty," but I could be unfamiliar with the phrase.
states you car’s a tad deceiving
and a fine you’ll be receiving.
At the least you are illegal-
get yourself a legal beagle-
for a rule of law you’ve broken
lost your “Good Behaviour Token”;
are you really, really sure which you are?

I ask you, are you sure which you are
when you set off proud… but don’t get very far?
Did you shoot an amber light? -- This line is not bad.
Did you indicate a “right”
then impulsively turn left
and with sharp intake of breath -- This line is not bad, in my opinion.
see a cyclist steer round death
out the corner of your eye?
Did you feel you’d like to die
when his two-digit retribution
comments on your execution? -- This scenario is interesting. 
Of course, YOU never make mistakes
(when did I last check my brakes?)
Are you really, really sure which you are?

There is, in this fine land, a set of rules;
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools.
But to me it seems a shame
that the rules remain the same
and no leniency is given
when a million miles you’ve driven,
and to drive precisely striven.
What’s a lamp-post now and then
(caused by whiskies, nine or ten);
Or a dent in someone’s boot,
or a past eleven “toot”?
If these comments make you tut
you’ve a legal right to, BUT
are you really, really sure which you are?

tectak
1959 (transcribed from yellow and crumbling Exercise book, thought never to see the light of day again)

I think there are some cool lines here. I'm not sure about the rhyming, but it sometimes works (for me) when you use a bunch of feminine endings and then end a stanza on a stressed ending. However, I find the old crumbling exercise book to be intriguing apart from the poem. 

[tectak]

Not sure if you wrote this or it was in an another exercise book, but I'll give it a go.  However, I think the actual reading or interaction with this old piece of writing may be what's really interesting here.  

There is, in this fine land, a set of rules; -- Fine may be "padded." 
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools. 

But are you really sure which you are
when all you've  done is drive off in your car?  -- The disassociation that occurs in the bubble of a big metal vehicle is a cool topic. 
Have you touched that  yellow line?
Have you overstayed your time?
Have you gone at over thirty?
Are your main beam lights so dirty
that a policeman, feeling shirty, -- Not sure about "shirty," but I could be unfamiliar with the phrase.
states you car’s a tad deceiving
and a fine you’ll be receiving.
At the least you are illegal-
get yourself a legal beagle-
for a rule of law you’ve broken
lost your “Good Behaviour Token”;
are you really, really sure which you are?

I ask you, are you sure which you are
when you set off proud… but don’t get very far?
Did you shoot an amber light? -- This line is not bad.
Did you indicate a “right”
then impulsively turn left
and with sharp intake of breath -- This line is not bad, in my opinion.
see a cyclist steer round death
out the corner of your eye?
Did you feel you’d like to die
when his two-digit retribution
comments on your execution? -- This scenario is interesting. 
Of course, YOU never make mistakes
(when did I last check my brakes?)
Are you really, really sure which you are?

There is, in this fine land, a set of rules;
abided by by wise men, shunned by fools.
But to me it seems a shame
that the rules remain the same
and no leniency is given
when a million miles you’ve driven,
and to drive precisely striven.
What’s a lamp-post now and then
(caused by whiskies, nine or ten);
Or a dent in someone’s boot,
or a past eleven “toot”?
If these comments make you tut
you’ve a legal right to, BUT
are you really, really sure which you are?

tectak
1959 (transcribed from yellow and crumbling Exercise book, thought never to see the light of day again)

I think there are some cool lines here. I'm not sure about the rhyming, but it sometimes works (for me) when you use a bunch of feminine endings and then end a stanza on a stressed ending. However, I find the old crumbling exercise book to be intriguing apart from the poem. 

Hi brown,
Yep...I confess, I wrote it.The second poem. Keith said he liked poems about cars. So here is number two. There is a three. It is very bad. But I will post it...pour encourage les autres...thanks for reading and your comments.
Best,
tectak

[tectak]

Not sure if you wrote this or it was in an another exercise book, but I'll give it a go.  However, I think the actual reading or interaction with this old piece of writing may be what's really interesting here.  

I think there are some cool lines here. I'm not sure about the rhyming, but it sometimes works (for me) when you use a bunch of feminine endings and then end a stanza on a stressed ending. However, I find the old crumbling exercise book to be intriguing apart from the poem. 

Hi brown,
Yep...I confess, I wrote it.The second poem. Keith said he liked poems about cars. So here is number two. There is a three. It is very bad. But I will post it...pour encourage les autres...thanks for reading and your comments.
Best,
tectak

Tectek,
what better way to admire art than to find out exactly what the author was intending...
So, Is this poem about fitting it to social norms? That's how I took it!
hope to hear from you,
Allysum.Edwards@mymail.nwtc.edu

The most intentional part of this piece was spelling my name correctly The poem was written over 50years ago when I was 11 yo. Social norms? What the hell are they? Rock'?'roll is here. No, then. It is about a precocious young idiot fantasising about driving a car. Better to crit the poem methinks...it's not all about me. Though it is, of course
Best,
tectak

[Keith]

He He, I am eternally grateful Tectak, great fun and I really enjoy seeing your poems from this time, its like finding a buried treasure.....more please.