I Am No Victim

[i.might.be.a.bit.sad]

Usually they start with the victim.
I walked in on you and her.
But you walked in on me, him
me, him.
I was going to say it was only once
(it wasn’t)
or that is was a mistake
(it was).
You left quietly,
no longer chatting away,
and the remains of my excuses dried on my skin.
I used all of the hot water
(you left a lot)
and all the soap
(all the soap that didn’t smell like you)
and scoured the guilt off of me.
I packed, emailed the landlord, and bought a one way ticket to
wherever.

I need another shower.

[fluorescent.43]

Usually they start with the victim. personal nitpick: i'd rather this line end with a colon, but a fairly strong opener.
I walked in on you and her.
But you walked in on me, him the punctuation of this line screws up the next line- i read it as "me, him me, him" but i did get what you're trying to say. if you want the repetition to accent "me, him", i think something like "me, him. me and him." would work.
me, him.
I was going to say it was only once
(it wasn’t)
or that is was a mistake typo: this was.
(it was).
You left quietly,
no longer chatting away, "chatting away" to me is awkwardly phrased- "chattering away"? but chatting or chattering seems like almost too cheerful of a word to use here. unless you're implying he was a talkative person before this.
and the remains of my excuses dried on my skin. i like the imagery here. you could expand it a bit but i like it.
I used all of the hot water how do you leave a lot of hot water? by paying the bills? not using the shower? it came to my mind after i had read it a few times.
(you left a lot)
and all the soap
(all the soap that didn’t smell like you) i like this. powerful.
and scoured the guilt off of me.
I packed, emailed the landlord, and bought a one way ticket to
wherever. a bit list-y here. i think you could expand each section a bit, make it into separate lines, instead of reeling off what you did in a row.


I need another shower. another nitpick: why so many spaces? but i like this ending line. continues the metaphor in the previous lines well.

first off, i really like this! it's a fascinating premise and i like the use of the parentheses to contradict what you're saying. i think i'm saying a lot of "i likes" so i'll stop. there's not really much i can say- maybe just clean a few parts up and this will be excellent. it was a fun and intriguing read for me.

43.

[cjchaffin]

Usually they start with the victim. great opening
I walked in on you and her.
But you walked in on me, him
me, him.
I was going to say it was only once
(it wasn’t) this commentary and the next work well, unlike the third and fourth in parentheses
or that is was a mistake
(it was).
You left quietly,
no longer chatting away,
and the remains of my excuses dried on my skin. i would break the poem into 2 strophes right here, it would slow down the read a bit and give it better pacing...
I used all of the hot water
(you left a lot) this commentary and the next don't really add anything to the poem, imho
and all the soap
(all the soap that didn’t smell like you)
and scoured the guilt off of me.
I packed, emailed the landlord, and bought a one way ticket to  the one way ticket is cliche, do you really need it? say exactly where you ended up, it's important
wherever.

I need another shower. i get why this is here but it feels too obvious an ending to be on its own; it needs to be a tad stronger

i like the use of the shower as metaphor. it works, even if it's been done before (but then again, what hasn't?). 
what i like is the perspective from which this is written, because as the narrator so plainly states in the beginning,
the attention is usually placed first on the victim; not so, in this case, and that is what caught my interest and held it here.

a few hiccups along the way...i pointed them out in context. 
and i think you could break this into two strophes and it would read better.
i like where this is going, though. nicely done.