Never Ask a Monkey Why

[MarkusSinclair]

I brought my clock to Mr. Chimp
The smartest in the land
I placed it on his office desk
"could you lend me a hand?"

a thoughtful look took hold of him
He hooted his consent
or so I thought that's what he said
I'm not sure what he meant


"My question is why does it tick?
Reply was furrowed brow
he pointed at the inner cogs
"Already know the how"

He smashed my watch upon the ground
with a remorseless stare
then grabbed a piece with abundant joy
"already know the where"

A look of terror grasped his face
he knew not what to do
He then showed me the maker's name
"Already know the who"

He swept the tenants of his desk
a mad search for a pen
with which he tapped out intervals
"Already know the when"

so he took his chair and hit me
a black eye and a limp
were all i had to show for it.
"last time i ask a chimp".

[billy]

then grabbed a piece with abundant joy

the meter is one foot too long. not much i know but it throws what is an almost perfectly rhythmical rhyme out of kilter. (line 3, 4th verse. )

the end rhymes are perfect. and apart for that one extra foot it flows really well. i'm not that keen on end rhymes because they often feel forced. in your poem the end rhyme is barely noticeable ( a good thing from my point of view)

it feels a bit lewis carroll like in concept. ( i love lewis carroll).
for me this a really fun write. it just leads you from one verse to the next. the reader knows they won't get an answer and at the last line he does, sort of.

i've read it about five times now and each time it grows more readable.

good job markus.

your avatar suites the poem though it is a painters and not a poets

[MarkusSinclair]

good point, i shall change it to zealous

[billy]

that would work much better i think.

i never said it should be published. it should.

nice site if you wish you can do your url this way;

Poetry by Markus Sinclair

but the choice is yours of course. i noticed you have images with your poetry. we do have a picture and poetry forum should you want to show anything. nice site.

[heslopian]

A strange but amusing poem. The rhythm doesn't always work - I stumbled over several times - but the rhyme scheme is good, and sometimes distracts from the disjointed flow. I'd recommend capitalising all of the singular "I" words, as they become small case towards the end, and to me that looks messy.
Other than that, though, funny and original.
I'm not that fond of nonsense verse, but I enjoyed this a lot. Thanks

[billy]

a : and D=
a :and )=
a :and (=
a ; and =
a : and p = :p

[heslopian]

a : and D=
a :and )=
a :and (=
a ; and =
a : and p = :p

Thanks Billy

[addy]

That was so much fun. The middle reminds me of a shaggy dog story with the increasingly hilarious, cartoon bizarreness. Bravo.

[Bianca Alabaster]

very funny poem, great stuff, thanks!