Departed

[jeremyyoung]

Departed


she longs once more for the evening gent
top hatted in spatted of literary bent
of warm summer sunsets and picnics in kent
     as she waits for the nurse to come

for the carefree days for the strolls on the moor
for the suitable suitors who knocked at her door
when everything stopped at a quarter to four
     as she rings for the nurse to come

[Grace]

Lovely poem ☺️

[just mercedes]

Hi! I like the contrasts in your poem, and the use of epiphora to provide a chorus. I've made a few notes on the poem.

Departed


she longs once more for the evening gent
top hatted in spatted of literary bent 'top hatted in spatted' made me pause. You could use 'top-hatted 'n spatted' for better grammar. Don't see why spats would make a literary bent. This line also steps away from the regular-ish meter you had going.
of warm summer sunsets and picnics in kent
     as she waits for the nurse to come

for the carefree days for the strolls on the moor
for the suitable suitors who knocked at her door nice!
when everything stopped at a quarter to four Is that afternoon tea time?
     as she rings for the nurse to come

Thanks for posting this - my mother's memory regressed to infantile - nice to think it could stop at some favourite time in the past.

[jeremyyoung]

'n' is rather non-U don't you think.

[Erthona]

"top hatted in spatted of literary bent"

Is this supposed to mean "top hatted, spatted and of a literary bent"?

I guess you have your reason for writing it that way, I was just curious as to the meaning. Overall this is written very clearly, a nice empathically nostalgic (for lack of a better term) poem.

Dale