No More Tears

[Bianca Alabaster]

Sitting in a cabin
the downpour makes
heavy pattering on the roof

It takes me to a day
long ago when I
was much younger

Tender heart
broken, pleading
watching the
pouring rain
from the back seat

Many streaming
rivers tumult down
the window.
I think it is not enough
rain to equal my pain and
grief of heart.

Not all the rain drops
pouring over the car
not all the rain
running down the street
not all the rain
gathered in the puddles!
compares to my sorrow.

I heave silent, dry,
wrenching tears
out into the rain
up into the angry sky.

Heart pleadings for my
brother, who is dying.
I love him so,
that I begged God
to let me take his
place somehow

But, He must have
said no, for he dies
still. We drive on
to visit him at
the cancer hospital.

I scream the silent
words to the unseen One;
“You don’t understand
God, it’s killing my mom
and dad to watch.
Why am I not good
enough for you
to take, instead?”

The river of rain
pours harder,
- frozen
my lungs do not breathe
my face is not wet
my tears are on the glass
forever outside.

©2/14/2010

[I miss my brother, so I read this poem today.]

[billy]

sometimes personal grief can be a hard thing to carry
and an easy thing to remember.
thanks for the read Bianca.

[DUBLIN5]

sad but excellent stuff

[Bianca Alabaster]

thanks very much.

[addy]

Thanks for posting this, though it must be hard to write. Those last lines were shiver-worthy.

[Bianca Alabaster]

thanks, it was hard but also healing when I wrote it... yes the last two stanzas are my favorite. shiver worthy huh! true feelings though, glad the poem impacted you.

[heslopian]

Good evocation of sadness. I'm not sure this line was grammatically correct: "Many streaming/rivers tumult down/the window." I don't think "tumult" is a verb. I liked this verse a lot:

"Not all the rain drops
pouring over the car
not all the rain
running down the street
not all the rain
gathered in the puddles!
compares to my sorrow."

The exclamation mark was a bit extraneous, though other than that this was a moving, powerful stanza, with vivid imagery.
On the whole, a good poem; not stunningly original, but sad and insightful and true, related with a certainty of vision that some should envy.

[Bianca Alabaster]

Tumult can refer to:

violent and noisy commotion or disturbance of a crowd.
a general outbreak or disorder, riot.
mental or emotional disturbance.

Here is what wikepedia says: above. I get your point though, perhaps not used as a verb but more as an expression. I meant it as "mental or emotional disturbance" I think I'd change the stanza to:
Many streams of rivers
tumult down the window.

Thank you for your comments, I liked what you wrote. I did write the poem and somehow I can't find the heart to change it, it calls to me to be left untouched. Your favorite verse is mine too! and yes I was stuck about the exclamation point but could not agree with myself so left it where it was. ha! funny thing the mind. LOL.