Mighty Meteroid

[Leah S.]

Deep in the Syllabillic Swamp
Live Ictus Beasts obsessed with feet.
I dare you to explore..it’s damp
And you’ll have Dieresus from the heat.

Catalectic Bugs arrive:
They’ll drink your blood like Arsus wine,
While Mean Molossi slyly strive
To trip you up and break your spine.

The Wild Iamb in hunger stalks
His timid pentametric prey,
Which sometimes makes its getaway
By how it leaps, enjambs, and balks.

Blue-Nosed Spondees hold their breath, dive
Down deep where Green-Gilled Tribrachs dine;
While an Amorous Anapest peeks from its hive
In the midst of the Twisty Distich Vine.

Totally ugly, a Warteous Dactyl walks
Right beside the Spiky Trochee,
Though together they’re a paradox,
One’s the other’s friend in theory.

In the end they’ll all give up the fight
When Mighty Meteroid decrees
With glee, which bit of whom he’ll bite,
And if the count of feet agrees.

[kingsosa]

Before i give my feedback i must say that i have never read a poem like that before. excellent use of vocabulary and imagery i really felt the energy of this poem while i was reading it. If i were to give critique i would suggest using more familiar words, not everyone knows what a "warteous Dactyl" is but then again you shouldnt water down your work for anyone.

[Leah S.]

Before i give my feedback i must say that i have never read a poem like that before. excellent use of vocabulary and imagery i really felt the energy of this poem while i was reading it. If i were to give critique i would suggest using more familiar words, not everyone knows what a "warteous Dactyl" is but then again you shouldnt water down your work for anyone.

All of those fancy words are technical terms for types of meter. "Ictus" is a Latin word used to describe a stroke or beat in metered verse. A Dactyl is 'a trisyllabic foot whose sequence is accented-unaccented-unaccented.' All the lines have meter that matches the terms. Thus: "Totally ugly, a Warteous Dactyl walks" is in dactylic meter, and "Right beside the Spiky Trochee," is in trochaic meter, and so on and so on.

[just mercedes]

Well done!

[Leah S.]

Well done!

I had lots of fun with it.
I still cower abjectly before the Mighty Meteroid.

[Erthona]

Leah,

I think my fave stanza was S3. I only had two problem with it, but only one I'll mention since this is in the fun section.

Anapest (anapaest) is called the "antidactylus" as it is the reverse of dactyl. If anything could be said to form a paradox with dactyl it seems it would be anapest rather than trochee, which is the opposite of iambic. I am referring to the following lines from S5.

"Totally ugly, a Warteous Dactyl walks
Right beside the Spiky Trochee,
Though together they’re a paradox,
One’s the other’s friend in theory."

In S4 I'm sure you are clever enough to find a way to replace "Anapest" with "trochee".

Anyway, just curious about your pair-up of dactyl and trochee.

Dale

[Leah S.]

Leah,

I think my fave stanza was S3. I only had two problem with it, but only one I'll mention since this is in the fun section.

Anapest (anapaest) is called the "antidactylus" as it is the reverse of dactyl. If anything could be said to form a paradox with dactyl it seems it would be anapest rather than trochee, which is the opposite of iambic. I am referring to the following lines from S5.

"Totally ugly, a Warteous Dactyl walks
Right beside the Spiky Trochee,
Though together they’re a paradox,
One’s the other’s friend in theory."

In S4 I'm sure you are clever enough to find a way to replace "Anapest" with "trochee".

Anyway, just curious about your pair-up of dactyl and trochee.

Dale

Well Dale, my idea was that they are a completely mismatched pair that one would not normally put together in a poem, since they have an odd number and size of 'feet' between them, but they are alike in that the first syllable is accented, making them 'friends,' albeit only in theory. I also wanted the accolade of rhyming 'paradox' with 'walks.' All in fun, Leah.