11-21-2014, 03:07 AM
It's my birthday, and I'm indulging myself by making this list of things I've found to be true and advice that makes sense to me. I don't know if anyone but me will benefit from it, but on the off-chance that someone will, here it is:
Half-Decent Advice and Things More Likely Than Not to be True
Learn some jokes. People like jokes.
Anger is the emotion that you feel when you're destroying something. Being angry at someone you love is like trying to build a house out of lit sticks of dynamite.
People that tell you that it'll get better with time are wrong. Betrayal never stops hurting. The truth is rather that the pain will inform the joy to come. Let it.
If you haven't laughed in a week, fix it.
Emily says bake a cake. She's right about that. Bake a cake.
Spend more time on people and less time on things.
At intervals, ask yourself if there's someone you need to forgive. Usually, there is. Usually, you're not aware of it. Usually, pretending to forgive that person will cause you to actually forgive them. Usually, forgiving someone will cause you to stop feeling like shit. Usually, that's the moment you'll realize you felt like shit in the first place. Usually.
Using a semicolon in a sentence is like using a frying pan in an office--sure, you've got your reasons, but now everyone has to spend ten minutes trying to figure out what they are.
Tell people you're proud of them ten times more often than you do.
Saying "I love you" to a friend is what you're supposed to do. If you think it's weird, you're weird.
The secret to cooking is use butter.
Make more choices.
Of all the life lessons we have to learn over and over and over, the most important is this: the grapevine is always always always wrong.
Never laugh at anyone who's dancing or praying.
Brag on your friends.
Forcing yourself to smile is like forcing open a treasure chest.
Here are the three best foods in the whole world, in order: buttered toast with honey, San Marcos-brand pickled jalapeños, and cheese and crackers.
It's hard to capture tone in short, text-only messages. Upsetting texts are usually not intended to be.
As a rule, we radically underestimate the impact we have on everyone around us.
Learn to like stuff that most people like. Bragging about your distaste for country music or apples or beer or television or poetry or babies is like bragging about the holes in your underwear.
Listen to every episode of The Memory Palace.
Labels for racial groups change over time. Just go with it.
We have no clue what 96% of the matter in the universe is, we have yet to explore 98% of the ocean, 20% of the intact DNA in a nasal swab is unclassifiable, we can't explain laughter, we don't really know why we sleep or dream, we have no idea how anesthetics work, we don't understand the basics of metabolism and nutrition, and quantum mechanics are all but impossible to figure out. We really don't know even the most basic fundamentals about *anything*. Isn't that great?
No one is good with names.
Calling a person a criminal is like calling a cat a criminal.
95% of any argument should be figuring out what the other person is trying to say. If it's not, you're doing it wrong.
If you think there's such a thing as a stupid person, you're right.
It's not effeminate to say something's pretty.
If you don't know why you've stopped doing something you love, then you need to figure out what it is that went so very, very wrong.
Be kind to people. Period.
Don't hurt people. Period.
Don't throw people away. We throw too many people away.
And here's my thesis on life: a strong identity, well-rehearsed and conspicuously expressed, promotes connection. Connection heals. It's the only thing that heals.
Half-Decent Advice and Things More Likely Than Not to be True
Learn some jokes. People like jokes.
Anger is the emotion that you feel when you're destroying something. Being angry at someone you love is like trying to build a house out of lit sticks of dynamite.
People that tell you that it'll get better with time are wrong. Betrayal never stops hurting. The truth is rather that the pain will inform the joy to come. Let it.
If you haven't laughed in a week, fix it.
Emily says bake a cake. She's right about that. Bake a cake.
Spend more time on people and less time on things.
At intervals, ask yourself if there's someone you need to forgive. Usually, there is. Usually, you're not aware of it. Usually, pretending to forgive that person will cause you to actually forgive them. Usually, forgiving someone will cause you to stop feeling like shit. Usually, that's the moment you'll realize you felt like shit in the first place. Usually.
Using a semicolon in a sentence is like using a frying pan in an office--sure, you've got your reasons, but now everyone has to spend ten minutes trying to figure out what they are.
Tell people you're proud of them ten times more often than you do.
Saying "I love you" to a friend is what you're supposed to do. If you think it's weird, you're weird.
The secret to cooking is use butter.
Make more choices.
Of all the life lessons we have to learn over and over and over, the most important is this: the grapevine is always always always wrong.
Never laugh at anyone who's dancing or praying.
Brag on your friends.
Forcing yourself to smile is like forcing open a treasure chest.
Here are the three best foods in the whole world, in order: buttered toast with honey, San Marcos-brand pickled jalapeños, and cheese and crackers.
It's hard to capture tone in short, text-only messages. Upsetting texts are usually not intended to be.
As a rule, we radically underestimate the impact we have on everyone around us.
Learn to like stuff that most people like. Bragging about your distaste for country music or apples or beer or television or poetry or babies is like bragging about the holes in your underwear.
Listen to every episode of The Memory Palace.
Labels for racial groups change over time. Just go with it.
We have no clue what 96% of the matter in the universe is, we have yet to explore 98% of the ocean, 20% of the intact DNA in a nasal swab is unclassifiable, we can't explain laughter, we don't really know why we sleep or dream, we have no idea how anesthetics work, we don't understand the basics of metabolism and nutrition, and quantum mechanics are all but impossible to figure out. We really don't know even the most basic fundamentals about *anything*. Isn't that great?
No one is good with names.
Calling a person a criminal is like calling a cat a criminal.
95% of any argument should be figuring out what the other person is trying to say. If it's not, you're doing it wrong.
If you think there's such a thing as a stupid person, you're right.
It's not effeminate to say something's pretty.
If you don't know why you've stopped doing something you love, then you need to figure out what it is that went so very, very wrong.
Be kind to people. Period.
Don't hurt people. Period.
Don't throw people away. We throw too many people away.
And here's my thesis on life: a strong identity, well-rehearsed and conspicuously expressed, promotes connection. Connection heals. It's the only thing that heals.
A yak is normal.
