Night Vision
#1
Night patrol in no man's land, one eye that scans for crack of Dawn.
Rules of engorgement strictly enforced, no sudden advances without thought.
The damp, dire darkness overheats,  but sudden squalls blow in beneath;
the chill relief intensifies the search for warmth and battle sighs.
A chasm looms. Still attached,  the unit starts its shuffling march.
This army moves not on its belly, but on its side like Machiavelli.
Target closing, but takes fright and moves again 'til lost to sight.
Pride holds erect the head that forays... the never falling crest of courage,
tenacious always, in pursuit of silver streams leaked from hirsute
and trembling walls. The way ahead is Dry Gulch Falls, a drop to carpetted abyss.
Nowhere to go, no more retreat. The time is come... advance on heat.
Oh, oh, oh what a lovely whore! That change of stance- fantasy becomes romance-
until the thrust to take Cockaigne . The bedlam battle starts again...
next Saturday.

tectak
Langholm
2014
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#2
Tom,

I would know nothing about any of that Tom, only you would be looking to get a piece of Tex ass, metaphorically speaking Dodgy . I do like the interlinear rhyme, especially that of "belly" and "Machiavelli". It would have been nice were you able to carry it out in every line, that is the middle with the end rhyme. There are a number of odd puns, which seem mainly for puns sake, which of course I am alright with...mainly Smile. Of Cornish the bedlam pun is very good. All in all a nice blended scotch, is this my bottle of JWB?

Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#3
(11-12-2014, 04:32 AM)Erthona Wrote:  Tom,

I would know nothing about any of that Tom, only you would be looking to get a piece of Tex ass, metaphorically speaking Dodgy . I do like the interlinear rhyme, especially that of "belly" and "Machiavelli". It would have been nice were you able to carry it out in every line, that is the middle with the end rhyme. There are a number of odd puns, which seem mainly for puns sake, which of course I am alright with...mainly Smile. Of Cornish the bedlam pun is very good. All in all a nice blended scotch, is this my bottle of JWB?

Dale

Yes...I DO like the historically modified images of stalwarts like Machiavelli and D'annunzio....particularly because they make for tough rhymes!
I am still working on D'annunzio.
Best,
tectak
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#4
"D'annunzio" possibly an Italian word, you seem to have a fondness for them, and it seems like about half of them have that ending Hysterical .
Well, to each his own...end that is.


dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#5
in your case tom this would represent a land of mushrooms Hysterical
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#6
isn't his land full of mushrooms already?

D'annunzio , now she's a bit antiquated for my tastes, but it end in o, so you should have a plethora of options. I would use speedo.
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#7
(11-13-2014, 03:51 AM)bena Wrote:  isn't his land full of mushrooms already?

D'annunzio , now she's a bit antiquated for my tastes, but it end in o, so you should have a plethora of options.  I would use speedo.

General comment. There is a need to google D'annunzioHysterical Hysterical
Best,
tectak
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#8
(11-13-2014, 12:39 AM)billy Wrote:  in your case tom this would represent a land of mushrooms Hysterical

You are on the button, billy.
Agaricus bisporous,
Best,
tectak
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