Posts: 30
Threads: 15
Joined: Jul 2013
I sail along these edges immortality
It’s in
extension of the legs, knees maybe, too,
their curvature derivative of muscle
void
whoever said leaves autumn silently
so falling?
no, rather, crash
insistent of a suicide.
the wickers burn, stale smoke trails off
the ground, damp, rich smell of
rot
and ever
chill air smoothes itself into my skin.
Posts: 438
Threads: 374
Joined: Sep 2014
I sail along these edges immortality
whoever said leaves autumn silently
so falling?
no, rather, crash
Are those parts worded the way you want them?
Posts: 1,325
Threads: 82
Joined: Sep 2013
Thread temporarily closed.
From the rules of this forum:
Post here if:
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Please give to others what you ask for yourself so that I can reopen this thread for critiques.
Thanks, ella/mod
(10-29-2014, 01:11 AM)expiring_touch Wrote: I sail along these edges immortality
It’s in
extension of the legs, knees maybe, too,
their curvature derivative of muscle
void
whoever said leaves autumn silently
so falling?
no, rather, crash
insistent of a suicide.
the wickers burn, stale smoke trails off
the ground, damp, rich smell of
rot
and ever
chill air smoothes itself into my skin.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips