Hooked

[velvet_morph]

Are you hooked yet?
It is just the beginning
in looking for an audience.
Or annoyance that it continues?

Are you hooked yet?
I bet you are.
Not far to go.
How do you like poems?

Short? You’re in luck.
Are you struck yet? By the lines
you are leaving, with a smile
while reading. Or pleading for a refund?

[tectak]

Are you hooked yet?
It is just the beginning Is it just
in looking for an audience. No period here
Or annoyance that it continues?

Are you hooked yet?
I bet you are.
Not far to go.
How do you like poems?

Short? You’re in luck.
Are you struck yet? By the lines
you are leaving, with a smile
while reading. Or pleading for a refund? Very clunky stanza. A shower of punctuation. Things just stay where they land.

Hi velv,
This one is languishing and I think I know why. It may be in Fun, it may even be fun, but is it serious? I cannot tell. One of the problems with this kind of loosely pensive prose is the interminable questioning in the text. That it is rhetorical is not in doubt  because who can answer? So what to say? Well, from a none-judgemental viewpoint it is uncomfortably unattractive  to this crit. I say  none-judgemental because who cares what I think? You may well be attempting to introduce a squirm factor and some may say "result". If that is not your aim, then it is in Fun forum because you believe it is funny. It needs to be funnier.
Best,
tectak

[rayheinrich]

1 Are you hooked yet?
2 It is just the beginning
3 in looking for an audience.
4 Or annoyance that it continues?

5 Are you hooked yet?
6 I bet you are.
7 Not far to go.
8 How do you like poems?

9 Short? You’re in luck.
10 Are you struck yet? By the lines
11 you are leaving, with a smile
12 while reading. Or pleading for a refund?

Move 4, put it between 1 and 2.
8: Take out "how" and put it between 5 and 6.
10: Move "?" to the end of the line.
11: Take out "," and make this an interrogative as well. (Why not go whole hog, this is pig pen!)
12: Move "Or pleading for a refund?" to line 13.
( Free verse stanzas constrained to equal numbers of lines are like capitalizing the first letter in every line.)

Get rid of all the caps and punctuation marks.
This is NOT a fun poem, it's about our art; what could be fun about that?
Crit too specific? Then change the poem so it ain't.

[elviaje26]

I feel like the line "How do you like poems?" is distracting and not as serious as the rest of the poem.Hi elvi and welcome. Though crit in this forum is not going towards your posting permit you should know that if you are yourself serious then this is sparse crit. Look at the crit of others and compare to your own. Avoid bland one-liners by making some attempt to suggest how to improve the submitted work. After all, it is what you will expect when you make your first post. Mod

[rowens]

I think all this trying to find an audience, or wishing you could get a refund after reading a book of poems, is counter-productive. Whether a joke or not, it's still serious. To achieve staying power try to write good poems that you know nobody wants to read. That is: Try to write good, but try to neglect any audience of any kind. That way, when you're dead, some nobody critic will make a name for himself writing a book-long essay discovering your merit, and then you will enter the lists of great poets. That is the plan: but it is also imperative not to be too conscious of such a plan.

[shemthepenman]

this is fun

[rayheinrich]

The only way to approach it -- my past comments aside -- is through the element of "fun".
Any thoughts to the contrary are but an invitation to suicide.