8am classes really suck

[Cyferz]

Rainy mornings, rising sun
Seize the day while it is young

---
A quick post as tribute to the pig pen gods.
I've been meaning to critique more poetry here, but as I've entered senior year, time becomes scarce.

- Please do not ban me, I will be back

[rowens]

Maybe you should drop out of school and concentrate on writing. The first line of the poem has the makings of something, then there's only one other line.

You could have used that Latin phrase, then: while you are young. But you didn't.

[billy]

while it's a pleasant quote,
it needs more, the 2nd line feels a bit cliche as well. you can always post these type of poems in the for fun forum where others may join in with you happy thoughts

Rainy mornings, rising sun
Seize the day while it is young

---
A quick post as tribute to the pig pen gods.
I've been meaning to critique more poetry here, but as I've entered senior year, time becomes scarce.

- Please do not ban me, I will be back

[chris_the_princess]

Rainy mornings, rising sun
Seize the day while it is young

I am merely a beginner in the art of poetry so I feel my word may not be as credible as others, yet I feel that the separation in the first line could have been reiterated in the second by inserting a break. I also agree with rowens. I think that you could have re-written it to be somewhat of a:

Rainy mornings, rising sun
Seize the day, [you're still young/its still young]

I feel the break in between gives it a better flow pattern and a smoother rhythm. Also, maybe expand on the idea. Two lines seems so condensed.

[bena]

I think the last line of your post should be the last line of the poem.

just think about that for a min.

senior year should be easy and mostly about getting out....so visit us.


mel.

[OneStranger]

Sounds like a motivational poster