Peahen

[zahrakh]

Her ambling around inside your thoughts' forest,
Did it make your knees wobble?
Or just a child's awe, was it?
At finding himself face to face
With one of Peter Pan's pixies.
The gleam in your eyes,
When the colours of her feathers flashed before
them,
The glow on your face,
When she used to move her plumage,
Was it an adult's suppressed desire?
Or a kid somewhere inside
Running in a hidden land of fantasy,
Chasing this Peahen
Surrounded by colourful wisps.

[Keith]

This is comes across as whistfull or semi-dream like, maybe a memory of a first love ? you have some strong lines that provide the reader with intersting images but there is room for improvment, you could think about what message do you want to bring across and try to develop it, also some of the lines need more work, I have put some thoughts below.

Her ambling around inside your thoughts' forest, This line is imortant to the reader as you are setting the scene, this doesnt read well you could rephrase to improve.
Did it make your knees wobble?
Or just a child's awe, was it? this reads inverted and the ? is confusing
At finding himself face to face
With one of Peter Pan's pixies. did Peter Pan have pixies ?
The gleam in your eyes, this is cliche try saying it a different way
When the colours of her feathers flashed before
them, I like this line it links well with the title and give us a shy almost coy image, the line break is awkward
The glow on your face, again cliche
When she used to move her plumage,
Was it an adult's suppressed desire?
Or a kid somewhere inside
Running in a hidden land of fantasy,
Chasing this Peahen
Surrounded by colourful wisps. A dream like end that gives the reader a strong image

I like the idea behind this and the plumage metaphor just needs some more work, hope this helps Keith

[zahrakh]

Thank you Keith

[Mwaba don]

Her ambling around inside your thoughts' forest,
Did it make your knees wobble?
Or just a child's awe, was it? (wobbling knees it was)
At finding himself face to face
With one of Peter Pan's pixies.
The gleam in your eyes,
When the colours of her feathers flashed before
them,
The glow on your face,
When she used to move her plumage,
Was it an adult's suppressed desire?
Or a kid somewhere inside
Running in a hidden land of fantasy,
Chasing this Peahen
Surrounded by colorful wisps.

Nice topic. It was very interesting to read.
Your poem was short and sweet. I liked it.
However there a few am sure how the spelling of colour goes really ( color or colour?)
I did not get the tense on the (At finding himself face to face With one of Peter Pan's pixies. The gleam in your eyes,) did you mean himself or yourself as the rest of the writing went?
It was a lovely poem overall.

[Tamara]

Her ambling around inside your thoughts' forest,
Did it make your knees wobble?
Or just a child's awe, was it?
At finding himself face to face
With one of Peter Pan's pixies.
The gleam in your eyes,
When the colours of her feathers flashed before
them,
The glow on your face,
When she used to move her plumage,
Was it an adult's suppressed desire?
Or a kid somewhere inside
Running in a hidden land of fantasy,
Chasing this Peahen
Surrounded by colourful wisps.

The whimsy element is appealing and I enjoyed the metaphor. 

In the first line 'thoughts forest' can be changed as it sounds a bit cliched and robs the poem from giving it a strong opening.

I found the upper case in all the lines a bit too distracting and restricting the flow of the poem. 

'When the colors of her feathers flashed before

them,'  these lines stick out compared to the rest of the poem. Maybe it could be edited.

[zahrakh]

Thank you Mwaba and Tamara