Sean's demise

[Leanne]

Big Paddy met Mick in the pub Friday night.
said Paddy, “And where is old Sean?”
Well, Mick shook his head: “’Tis a terrible tale”
and Paddy, concerned, said, “Go on.”

So Mick took a drink and began, “Sean is dead.
It was only last week we were drinking
right here at this bar, then we left to walk home –
the right thing to do, we were thinking.

“I wasn’t too bad but old Sean was a state –
it was twenty eight Guinness that filled him –
he tripped on the rail line, a train came along,
ran over his finger and killed him.”

Now Mick shook his head; “His finger?” he said,
“How that killed him I just can’t suppose,”
but Paddy, in tears, told the rest of the tale:
“It was while he was picking his nose.”


*From milo's NaNoPoMo prompts.

[milo]

Big Paddy met Mick in the pub Friday night.
said Paddy, “And where is old Sean?”
Well, Mick shook his head: “’Tis a terrible tale”
and Paddy, concerned, said, “Go on.”

So Mick took a drink and began, “Sean is dead.
It was only last week we were drinking
right here at this bar, then we left to walk home –
the right thing to do, we were thinking.

“I wasn’t too bad but old Sean was a state –
it was twenty eight Guinness that filled him –
he tripped on the rail line, a train came along,
ran over his finger and killed him.”

Now Mick shook his head; “His finger?” he said,
“How that killed him I just can’t suppose,”
but Paddy, in tears, told the rest of the tale:
“It was while he was picking his nose.”


*From milo's NaNoPoMo prompts.

I have read this 100 times and will read it 100 more. Easily one of my favorites from the month!

The weaving of the dialog is perfect. I couldn't think of anything that would improve it.

[Truerenigma]

Big Paddy met Mick in the pub Friday night.
said Paddy, “And where is old Sean?”
Well, Mick shook his head: “’Tis a terrible tale”
and Paddy, concerned, said, “Go on.”

So Mick took a drink and began, “Sean is dead.
It was only last week we were drinking
right here at this bar, then we left to walk home –
the right thing to do, we were thinking.

“I wasn’t too bad but old Sean was a state –
it was twenty eight Guinness that filled him –
he tripped on the rail line, a train came along,
ran over his finger and killed him.”

Now Mick shook his head; “His finger?” he said,
“How that killed him I just can’t suppose,”
but Paddy, in tears, told the rest of the tale:
“It was while he was picking his nose.”


*From milo's NaNoPoMo prompts.

That is the most brilliant punchline I have ever heard! Did you steal it from an old joke? I suppose you would never tell. . .

Who knew one could write such natural sounding dialog with anapests in English? Bravo, Leanne. Bravo, and brava.

[Leanne]

I don't know why, but anything Irish always ends up in triple feet for me. I'd like to think I'm not stereotyping based on limericks, but I think that might be the case.

[ellajam]

Good one, Leanne, this may be the only poem my brain can take in today. Punchline worked for me, I hadn't a clue. Thanks for the grin.

[milo]

I don't know why, but anything Irish always ends up in triple feet for me. I'd like to think I'm not stereotyping based on limericks, but I think that might be the case.

I can tell you that leprechauns speak strictly in limericks. As for rest, I don't know.

[Leanne]

Milo, I don't know how many times I have to tell you: that little man at the bar was not a leprechaun, and he didn't have gold in the pot he was carrying.

[Todd]

Milo, I don't know how many times I have to tell you: that little man at the bar was not a leprechaun, and he didn't have gold in the pot he was carrying.

Was he carrying cereal? That little bastard is always after me Lucky Charms.

Great poem Leanne. It was funny when I first read it, and the punchline is still awesome.

[shemthepenman]

Damn, Leanne, I have already memorised this and will be reciting it to everyone I meet... Friends, family, shopkeepers...

ps. If Ryan Adams hadn't already taken 'damn, Sam...' There would have been a poem in it for you for Christmas [damn, Leanne, I love a woman that quatrains]

[billy]

can't believe i haven't read this here before though i may have read it elsewhere.

i like the new twist on an old joke but most of all i enjoyed that it gave me a laugh. no poem that gives a me a laugh for the right reason needs anymore feedback than that

[Leanne]

I think I was about 8 when I first heard this joke, so it deserved a bit of rhyming treatment

[billy]

the version i heard was "he was scratching his head" it's not the joke that does it but how it's carried.