Well wisher....Edited for Ray and Billy

[tectak]

I wish that I could find the words
to move my heart and rend my soul.
When death becomes a two-edged sword
the deepest cuts will make me whole…
but Auden found them all, the sod;
Auden found them all.

I wish that I could write a verse
that forces eyes to see the Sun;
to look but once and not rehearse
for life, when all plans come undone…
but Davies wrote them all, the swine;
Davies wrote them all.

I wish that I could say a prayer
in praise of God who gave the brush
to colour in our living layer
in brindled, dappled, freckled flush…
but Hopkins said it all, the twat;
Hopkins said it all.

I wish…I wish…that I could see
whatever else is hiding there.
To shine a light that I might be,
before I die, alive…aware.
but Thomas saw it all, the jerk;
Dylan saw it all.

tectak in humorous mood.

Thanks ray

[Wjames]

I wish that I could find the words
to move my heart and rend my soul.
When death becomes a two-edged sword
the deepest cuts will make me whole…
but Auden found them all, the sod;
Auden found them all.

I wish that I could write a verse
that forces eyes to see the Sun;
to look but once and not rehearse
for life, when all plans come undone… This line sticks out as weak to me; I'm unsure of what you're trying to say and it comes out awkwardly. All the other 4th lines of the stanzas in the poem sort of have an air of conclusion, but not this one.
but Davies wrote them all, the swine;
Davies wrote them all.

I wish that I could say a prayer
in praise of God who gave the brush
to colour in our living layer
in brindled, dappled, freckled flush…
but Hopkins said it all, the twat;
Hopkins said it all.

I wish…I wish…that I could see
whatever else is hiding there.
To shine a light that I might be,
before I die, alive…aware.
but Thomas saw it all, the jerk;
Dylan saw it all.

tectak in humorous mood.

Thanks ray

Very very nice, I have but one critique too offer you.

[tectak]

I wish that I could find the words
to move my heart and rend my soul.
When death becomes a two-edged sword
the deepest cuts will make me whole…
but Auden found them all, the sod;
Auden found them all.

I wish that I could write a verse
that forces eyes to see the Sun;
to look but once and not rehearse
for life, when all plans come undone… This line sticks out as weak to me; I'm unsure of what you're trying to say and it comes out awkwardly. All the other 4th lines of the stanzas in the poem sort of have an air of conclusion, but not this one.
but Davies wrote them all, the swine;
Davies wrote them all.

I wish that I could say a prayer
in praise of God who gave the brush
to colour in our living layer
in brindled, dappled, freckled flush…
but Hopkins said it all, the twat;
Hopkins said it all.

I wish…I wish…that I could see
whatever else is hiding there.
To shine a light that I might be,
before I die, alive…aware.
but Thomas saw it all, the jerk;
Dylan saw it all.

tectak in humorous mood.

Thanks ray

Very very nice, I have but one critique too offer you.

HONK.
Thanks,
tectak ( too offer is too many )