Posts: 2,602
Threads: 303
Joined: Feb 2017
I haven't been in touch for a while. I had nothing to say:
and you, you live up stairs, in a different building,
in another city, with your damned clock always telling you
it's the middle of the night, or so it seemed.
That's why I stopped calling...I want you to know that.
So I'm writing to you. Read me when you are awake.
The sun is hot right now. I could lie about the weather
to make for something interesting...but lies, I always knew,
never worked with you. Anyway, that's how it is.
Hot. But that's not what I want to say...
Maybe I will try calling one more time.
When is a good time to catch you in?
tectak
2014
Posts: 1,325
Threads: 82
Joined: Sep 2013
It got me from "you live up stairs" and then taking me elsewhere. It rings with the fragility of relationships you can't keep up but can't let go. There's a whole other poem between the lines. Nicely done.
(07-18-2014, 08:16 PM)tectak Wrote: I haven't been in touch for a while. I had nothing to say:
and you, you live up stairs, in a different building,
in another city, with your damned clock always telling you
it's the middle of the night, or so it seemed.
That's why I stopped calling...I want you to know that.
So I'm writing to you. Read me when you are awake.
The sun is hot right now. I could lie about the weather
to make for something interesting...but lies, I always knew,
never worked with you. Anyway, that's how it is.
Hot. But that's not what I want to say...
Maybe I will try calling one more time.
When is a good time to catch you in?
tectak
2014
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
Posts: 2,602
Threads: 303
Joined: Feb 2017
(07-18-2014, 08:52 PM)ellajam Wrote: It got me from "you live up stairs" and then taking me elsewhere. It rings with the fragility of relationships you can't keep up but can't let go. There's a whole other poem between the lines. Nicely done.
(07-18-2014, 08:16 PM)tectak Wrote: I haven't been in touch for a while. I had nothing to say:
and you, you live up stairs, in a different building,
in another city, with your damned clock always telling you
it's the middle of the night, or so it seemed.
That's why I stopped calling...I want you to know that.
So I'm writing to you. Read me when you are awake.
The sun is hot right now. I could lie about the weather
to make for something interesting...but lies, I always knew,
never worked with you. Anyway, that's how it is.
Hot. But that's not what I want to say...
Maybe I will try calling one more time.
When is a good time to catch you in?
tectak
2014
Thanks ella,
I know I should stick up more of my short form stuff but a lot if it is from years long gone which is not really suited to this world anymore...if it ever was
Frankly, most of it is rubbish...which looking at the boards here has an amazing timelessness.
This is, in fact, a piece I wrote way back in the 60's but I revamped it often. "Unsolicited Calls" had not been invented and so it was originally called "Wrung Out". Hmmmm.
Best,
tectak
just mercedes
Unregistered
I'm glad you posted here, rather than in a workshop thread - gives me the space to enjoy your poem without trying too hard to parse it. And I do enjoy it - you have the right touch with sadness; not too heavy, not too light ...
