it´s not yet lead

[vagabond]

a hundred thousand years to go
a hundred thousand years it glows
that´s not a time for us to measure
so we prefer to praise our treasures

we, the lucky generations
we, the rich and toxic nations

spread steaming waste around the globe
will make our children hide in holes

no place for love or life to treasure
as dropping rations will be measured
a hundred thousand years to go
a hundred thousand years it glows

[LorettaYoung]

a hundred thousand years to go
a hundred thousand years it glows
that´s not a time for us to measure
so we prefer to praise our treasures

we, the lucky generations
we, the rich and toxic nations

spread steaming waste around the globe
will make our children hide in holes

no time for love or life to treasure
while dropping rations will be measured
a hundred thousand years to go
a hundred thousand years it glows

---

Hi Vagabond: Enjoyed your poem, my only suggestion is that S3 seems forced in and disrupts an otherwise smooth read. Best, Loretta

[vagabond]

Thank you for your reply, since I am a complete newbie i need to ask you if you mean
"spread steaming waste around the globe
will make our children hide in holes"
with S3.

If so, i agree with your critic but so far have not found a better way to express the content.
Good night (need to sleep now, it´s almost midnight)

[Celestina Waters]

Maybe for S3 something along the lines of the waste being hidden just so we can make more without guilt.
*
Spread the teaming waste around the globe
Keeping toxic secrets burried deep

-
Sadly the message of this poem will last a hundred thousand years

[vagabond]

Maybe for S3 something along the lines of the waste being hidden just so we can make more without guilt.
*
Spread the teaming waste around the globe
Keeping toxic secrets burried deep

-
Sadly the message of this poem will last a hundred thousand years

well, the problems of the storage site are already impending and just look at fukushima.. it´s not hidden

[Erthona]

Although nuclear waste is problematic, it is relatively insignificant compared to the water shortage due to overpopulation. Not too far into the future, governments around the world will be seizing control of everybody's reproductive rights. Once that happens there is no real freedom left. Either that, or there will begin major wars over control of water rights. If one has air and water, he can survive without anything else for a month or more. Not having enough water is a death sentence that will break all treaties and agreements between countries. I see from this poem and your other poem you're a "cause man". That sort of thing may work in rhetoric, especially in speeches, but does not generally have the desired effect in poetry. Subtle satire seems to be more efficient at getting the job done, as it gets below people's defenses.

Dale

[vagabond]

Although nuclear waste is problematic, it is relatively insignificant compared to the water shortage due to overpopulation. Not too far into the future, governments around the world will be seizing control of everybody's reproductive rights. Once that happens there is no real freedom left. Either that, or there will begin major wars over control of water rights. If one has air and water, he can survive without anything else for a month or more. Not having enough water is a death sentence that will break all treaties and agreements between countries. I see from this poem and your other poem you're a "cause man". That sort of thing may work in rhetoric, especially in speeches, but does not generally have the desired effect in poetry. Subtle satire seems to be more efficient at getting the job done, as it gets below people's defenses.

Dale

Thank you.
Could you explain a little more what a "cause man" (or woman) is? maybe I can learn more about myself.. and o.k., I ll try to be more subtle in my complaining and accusations or maybe I ll just try to be not so complaining.

[Erthona]

"cause man" A person always looking for a cause to talk/fight/go on about. Kind of like white folk in the sixties:

"It mattered not the cause, equality - civil rights.
we cared nothing for the principal, we were fighting just to fight.
It was the time of our rebellion, demarcation close at hand,
we played by ear, those years ago, we never had a plan."

A person who likes feeling self-righteous. A person who likes pointing out the sins of the world. A common illness of people in their late teens and early twenties, when s/he is in the process of rebelling against the parental units and they see everything as black and white, good an evil.

Are you aware that France gets a very large portion of it's electricty from nuclear power?

"Nuclear power is the primary source of energy in France. In 2004, nuclear energy made up the largest share of France's energy consumption at 39%. Looking purely at electricity, though, 407 TWh out of the country's total production of 541 TWh of electricity was from nuclear power (75%), the highest percentage in the world."

wiki quote

Considering that nuclear power production puts nearly zero CO2 into the air, there have been only three major malfunctions in over thirty years and the current gen 3 reactor is even more safe than the previous generation of reactors. I'm not saying there is no danger, there is, but there is also danger by continuing to pump CO2 into the air. Just the problem with malaria because of the increase of tropical conditions in much larger areas due to global warming is probably threatening more lives than does nuclear power. I don't have a horse in the race, but there are positives and negatives with any form of power generation. Sure we can replace nuclear power, but that just means more CO2 and methane emissions. The thing is there are dangers to any kind of energy generating. People thought that wind power would great, until they found wind farms were killing lots of birds when they migrate.

I would suggest in the future to know more about what it is you are protesting, and not just see one side of it. I'm really not trying to be down on you. Most everybody goes through this sort of protest thing, but while protesting and preaching may make for good politics and speechifying, it does not generally make for good poetry.


Dale

[vagabond]

A person who likes feeling self-righteous. A person who likes pointing out the sins of the world. A common illness of people in their late teens and early twenties, when s/he is in the process of rebelling against the parental units and they see everything as black and white, good an evil.


Wow, i post some poems, and already you know who I am.

People thought that wind power would great, until they found wind farms were killing lots of birds when they migrate.

nuclear is not CO2-neutral.
and the accident is not yet over.
comparing that and the unsolved nuclear waste problem to some killed birds, do you really think that´s equal?

I would suggest in the future to know more about what it is you are protesting, and not just see one side of it. I'm really not trying to be down on you. Most everybody goes through this sort of protest thing, but while protesting and preaching may make for good politics and speechifying, it does not generally make for good poetry.

OK, got that now. Since the only other kind of poems I wrote can be put into the emo box i think I ll have to pause posting ..
Thanks that you made me realize that.

[Erthona]

"I ll have to pause posting .."

I don't see why. It is only one person opinion. If you don't like it, just ignore it. Or maybe think I am a crazy knucklehead. Regardless, I won't bother you in the future by commenting on you poems. Problem solved.


Dale

[ellajam]

A person who likes feeling self-righteous. A person who likes pointing out the sins of the world. A common illness of people in their late teens and early twenties, when s/he is in the process of rebelling against the parental units and they see everything as black and white, good an evil.


Wow, i post some poems, and already you know who I am.

People thought that wind power would great, until they found wind farms were killing lots of birds when they migrate.

nuclear is not CO2-neutral.
and the accident is not yet over.
comparing that and the unsolved nuclear waste problem to some killed birds, do you really think that´s equal?

I would suggest in the future to know more about what it is you are protesting, and not just see one side of it. I'm really not trying to be down on you. Most everybody goes through this sort of protest thing, but while protesting and preaching may make for good politics and speechifying, it does not generally make for good poetry.

OK, got that now. Since the only other kind of poems I wrote can be put into the emo box i think I ll have to pause posting ..
Thanks that you made me realize that.

There is room here for all types of poems, the trick is to say it in a way that the reader wants to experience more than once. That comes with careful reading and observing what works, and sticking with the writing process working towards an effective end.

It's hard for everyone, but this a good place to accelerate the learning process if that's your aim.

We're glad to have you, the choice is yours.

[ChristopherSea]

"cause man" A person always looking for a cause to talk/fight/go on about. Kind of like white folk in the sixties:

"It mattered not the cause, equality - civil rights.
we cared nothing for the principal, we were fighting just to fight.
It was the time of our rebellion, demarcation close at hand,
we played by ear, those years ago, we never had a plan."

A person who likes feeling self-righteous. A person who likes pointing out the sins of the world. A common illness of people in their late teens and early twenties, when s/he is in the process of rebelling against the parental units and they see everything as black and white, good an evil.

Are you aware that France gets a very large portion of it's electricty from nuclear power?

"Nuclear power is the primary source of energy in France. In 2004, nuclear energy made up the largest share of France's energy consumption at 39%. Looking purely at electricity, though, 407 TWh out of the country's total production of 541 TWh of electricity was from nuclear power (75%), the highest percentage in the world."

wiki quote

Considering that nuclear power production puts nearly zero CO2 into the air, there have been only three major malfunctions in over thirty years and the current gen 3 reactor is even more safe than the previous generation of reactors. I'm not saying there is no danger, there is, but there is also danger by continuing to pump CO2 into the air. Just the problem with malaria because of the increase of tropical conditions in much larger areas due to global warming is probably threatening more lives than does nuclear power. I don't have a horse in the race, but there are positives and negatives with any form of power generation. Sure we can replace nuclear power, but that just means more CO2 and methane emissions. The thing is there are dangers to any kind of energy generating. People thought that wind power would great, until they found wind farms were killing lots of birds when they migrate.

I would suggest in the future to know more about what it is you are protesting, and not just see one side of it. I'm really not trying to be down on you. Most everybody goes through this sort of protest thing, but while protesting and preaching may make for good politics and speechifying, it does not generally make for good poetry.


Dale

Mods may want to move this to another thread, but Dale is right, i.e., fossil fuels have been much more deadly than nuclear power and their continual use will contribute to the detriment of our planet much faster than any of the alternatives:

http://www.newscientist.com/data/images/...053601.jpg

In highschool there was this great bumper sticker:

Nuclear Power 0
Ted Kennedy 1

As for the subject of the poem, any topic or opinion is valid if delivered in an interesting and effective and poetic manner.

[vagabond]

"I ll have to pause posting .."

I don't see why. It is only one person opinion. If you don't like it, just ignore it. Or maybe think I am a crazy knucklehead. Regardless, I won't bother you in the future by commenting on you poems. Problem solved.


Dale

your comments are o.k., also those about my personality. I agree with part of it and it shall help me on.
Second reason to pause is that i realized i don´t master the language enough. Maybe this is why my poems sound plain. I ll work on that and those too plain messages (but I´m not sure if I ll succeed)
greetings, Christine

[Erthona]

Hello Christine,

Welcome to the site,

Dale