Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2)

[LorettaYoung]

Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2, Erthona, tectak, trueenigma, Brownlie)

He's lost himself, like truth trapped in a maze.
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
Choosing theater, needing the applause,
a childhood of neglect and loss the cause.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers,
constructed by admirers and peers.
Casting nets for praise with subtlety;
solicitous of status socially.
He strides with classic flourish when onstage
and takes deep bows, delighted with the praise.
With social grace he flaunts the words of art;,
while the poems, drift alone, in his heart.

And so, the silenced poet sleeps in dark.

He's recently retired from the stage,
"few parts", he said, for someone of his age.
As time endures then decades quicken pace,
so now his aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, lost poetic flair.
He's tired now; with effort climbs the stairs
and breathless falls upon the nearest chair,
with age, though aspirations debonair:
the spirit of the Bard awaits him there.




Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 1: title change: tectak, Brownlie, Billy, Trueenigma)

A lost poet;
He wanders from himself,
but doesn't know it.
He sees a mentor gain him place,
to please his clique, promote his face.
He thrives on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers.
On stage his words were classic parts;
from masters like Williams, Miller and Sartre.
Socially he flourished words of art,
words divided from his self apart.
Is he now upon the stage,
or words and heart in life engaged?

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, unknown poetic flair.
As one of practiced wits and charm as he
his nets are cast with care and subtlety.
He tires and with effort climbs the stair
and breathless, with age, falls upon a chair,
The Bard's spirit awaits him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air?

PRACTICE (ERTHONA)
Portrait of a lost poet,

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers
impressing his admirers and peers
On stage his work was classic theater parts
The likes of Shakespeare, Miller, Williams, Sartre
Socially he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart

[Erthona]

Maybe start with something like this and avoid the repetition. A five foot line of accentual verse might free you up some, and keep you from writing such phrases as "With charm he seeks to stature win."

He forgets himself, and the truth within him braised,
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
He thrives on flattery and the cheers,
impressing his admirers and his peers.

Dale

[LorettaYoung]

Maybe start with something like this and avoid the repetition. A five foot line of accentual verse might free you up some, and keep you from writing such phrases as "With charm he seeks to stature win."

He forgets himself, and the truth within him braised,
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
He thrives on flattery and the cheers,
impressing his admirers and his peers.

Dale

---

Hi Erthona: I accept that EVERYONE stands on rule in objection to that line and I will change it. I just want to add that that line sounds like rhythm within context to me. However, dale is cooked the right word, or is this humor? The truth within him slow-cooked out of sight!
I understand the rule as concerns prose, but isn't poetry a different language. I'm just trying to learn, thanks Loretta

---

Maybe start with something like this and avoid the repetition. A five foot line of accentual verse might free you up some, and keep you from writing such phrases as "With charm he seeks to stature win."

He forgets himself, and the truth within him braised,
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
He thrives on flattery and the cheers,
impressing his admirers and his peers.

Dale

---

Hi Erthona: I accept that EVERYONE stands on rule in objection to that line and I will change it. I just want to add that that line sounds like rhythm within context to me. However, dale is cooked the right word, or is this humor? The truth within him slow-cooked out of sight!
I understand the rule as concerns prose, but isn't poetry a different language. I'm just trying to learn, thanks Loretta

---

Dale: would I have to change everything to 5 meters? Loretta
I wrote a quick NEW pracice stanza under the poem trying to expand to meters. Thanks Dale

[Erthona]

You can do what you want. It just seemed to me you needed a longer line to express what you wanted to without have to write tortured phrases. Plus there are the lines which far exceed four feet

"The likes of Shakespeare, Miller, Williams, Sartre (5)
Socially, as if on stage, he flourished words of art" (7)

BU tortured I mean lines like:

"With charm he seeks to stature win."

Just a thought,

Dale

[LorettaYoung]

You can do what you want. It just seemed to me you needed a longer line to express what you wanted to without have to write tortured phrases. Plus there are the lines which far exceed four feet

"The likes of Shakespeare, Miller, Williams, Sartre (5)
Socially, as if on stage, he flourished words of art" (7)

BU tortured I mean lines like:

"With charm he seeks to stature win."

Just a thought,

Dale

---

HI Dale: Like your line; better than mine; was wondering that I should make the meter consistent throughout. Thanks for your help and time. Loretta

[LorettaYoung]

Hi Dale: your advice inspired me to try Pentameter and I couldn't stop myself. I don't know if it's any bette? Thanks, Loretta

[Truerenigma]

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

[tectak]

Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2, Erthona)

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed, Surely " He's lost himself, like truth trapped in a maze," Lost you see...in a maze...where you get lost. Oh, I give up
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers. built...then it must be " constructed by admirers and peers."
On stage his work was classic theater parts;
from the likes of Shakespeare, Williams, Sartre. "from the likes of" is weak. I mean, it is not as if we are short of playwrites.
Socially, he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart. Dreadfully clumsy rhyme. Your turn to improve this one...assuming you think that's what I've been doing

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, dismissed poetic flair. Still excellent and so stands out. If you can get the rest to this standard....
As one with practiced wits and charm as he,
his nets are cast with care and subtlety. Odd metaphor which does not hook or net me
He tires now with effort climbs the stair He tires now; with effort climbs the stairs
and breathless falls upon the nearest chair. Your poem. Stairs and chair as an off rhyme is just fine. Better than climbs THE stair. Note the period. Everytime you write a sentence USE one.
and breathless falls upon that cozy chair,
with age, though aspirations debonair. New sentence. "With age, through aspirations debonair,
the spirit of the Bard awaits him there.

The Bard's spirit is waiting for him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air? This last line is hopelessly rhetorical and quite superfluous. All is opinion...drop it

Best,
tectak


Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 1: title change: tectak, Brownlie, Billy, Trueenigma)

A lost poet;
He wanders from himself,
but doesn't know it.
He sees a mentor gain him place,
to please his clique, promote his face.
He thrives on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers.
On stage his words were classic parts;
from masters like Williams, Miller and Sartre.
Socially he flourished words of art,
words divided from his self apart.
Is he now upon the stage,
or words and heart in life engaged?

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, unknown poetic flair.
As one of practiced wits and charm as he
his nets are cast with care and subtlety.
He tires and with effort climbs the stair
and breathless, with age, falls upon a chair,
The Bard's spirit awaits him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air?

PRACTICE (ERTHONA)
Portrait of a lost poet,

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers
impressing his admirers and peers
On stage his work was classic theater parts
The likes of Shakespeare, Miller, Williams, Sartre
Socially he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart

[LorettaYoung]

Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2, Erthona)

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed, Surely " He's lost himself, like truth trapped in a maze," Lost you see...in a maze...where you get lost. Oh, I give up
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers. built...then it must be " constructed by admirers and peers."
On stage his work was classic theater parts;
from the likes of Shakespeare, Williams, Sartre. "from the likes of" is weak. I mean, it is not as if we are short of playwrites.
Socially, he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart. Dreadfully clumsy rhyme. Your turn to improve this one...assuming you think that's what I've been doing

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, dismissed poetic flair. Still excellent and so stands out. If you can get the rest to this standard....
As one with practiced wits and charm as he,
his nets are cast with care and subtlety. Odd metaphor which does not hook or net me
He tires now with effort climbs the stair He tires now; with effort climbs the stairs
and breathless falls upon the nearest chair. Your poem. Stairs and chair as an off rhyme is just fine. Better than climbs THE stair. Note the period. Everytime you write a sentence USE one.
and breathless falls upon that cozy chair,
with age, though aspirations debonair. New sentence. "With age, through aspirations debonair,
the spirit of the Bard awaits him there.

The Bard's spirit is waiting for him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air? This last line is hopelessly rhetorical and quite superfluous. All is opinion...drop it

Best,
tectak


Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 1: title change: tectak, Brownlie, Billy, Trueenigma)

A lost poet;
He wanders from himself,
but doesn't know it.
He sees a mentor gain him place,
to please his clique, promote his face.
He thrives on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers.
On stage his words were classic parts;
from masters like Williams, Miller and Sartre.
Socially he flourished words of art,
words divided from his self apart.
Is he now upon the stage,
or words and heart in life engaged?

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, unknown poetic flair.
As one of practiced wits and charm as he
his nets are cast with care and subtlety.
He tires and with effort climbs the stair
and breathless, with age, falls upon a chair,
The Bard's spirit awaits him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air?

PRACTICE (ERTHONA)
Portrait of a lost poet,

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers
impressing his admirers and peers
On stage his work was classic theater parts
The likes of Shakespeare, Miller, Williams, Sartre
Socially he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart

---

Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue?

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

---

Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2, Erthona)

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed, Surely " He's lost himself, like truth trapped in a maze," Lost you see...in a maze...where you get lost. Oh, I give up
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers. built...then it must be " constructed by admirers and peers."
On stage his work was classic theater parts;
from the likes of Shakespeare, Williams, Sartre. "from the likes of" is weak. I mean, it is not as if we are short of playwrites.
Socially, he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart. Dreadfully clumsy rhyme. Your turn to improve this one...assuming you think that's what I've been doing

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, dismissed poetic flair. Still excellent and so stands out. If you can get the rest to this standard....
As one with practiced wits and charm as he,
his nets are cast with care and subtlety. Odd metaphor which does not hook or net me
He tires now with effort climbs the stair He tires now; with effort climbs the stairs
and breathless falls upon the nearest chair. Your poem. Stairs and chair as an off rhyme is just fine. Better than climbs THE stair. Note the period. Everytime you write a sentence USE one.
and breathless falls upon that cozy chair,
with age, though aspirations debonair. New sentence. "With age, through aspirations debonair,
the spirit of the Bard awaits him there.

The Bard's spirit is waiting for him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air? This last line is hopelessly rhetorical and quite superfluous. All is opinion...drop it

Best,
tectak


Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 1: title change: tectak, Brownlie, Billy, Trueenigma)

A lost poet;
He wanders from himself,
but doesn't know it.
He sees a mentor gain him place,
to please his clique, promote his face.
He thrives on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers.
On stage his words were classic parts;
from masters like Williams, Miller and Sartre.
Socially he flourished words of art,
words divided from his self apart.
Is he now upon the stage,
or words and heart in life engaged?

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, unknown poetic flair.
As one of practiced wits and charm as he
his nets are cast with care and subtlety.
He tires and with effort climbs the stair
and breathless, with age, falls upon a chair,
The Bard's spirit awaits him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air?

PRACTICE (ERTHONA)
Portrait of a lost poet,

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers
impressing his admirers and peers
On stage his work was classic theater parts
The likes of Shakespeare, Miller, Williams, Sartre
Socially he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart

---

Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue?

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

---

tectak: I am thinking a lot about the last two lines; and I see it as a philosophical and psychological question because I came from there: I myself would answer the question thus: that I am here, doing this, is testament that he could pluck the Bard from the lofty air. I could write research papers; but the literary aspect; words and phrases like "maze" and sychopanthic": what a treat of learning. Thanks, really, Loretta

[tectak]

Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 2, Erthona)

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed, Surely " He's lost himself, like truth trapped in a maze," Lost you see...in a maze...where you get lost. Oh, I give up
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers. built...then it must be " constructed by admirers and peers."
On stage his work was classic theater parts;
from the likes of Shakespeare, Williams, Sartre. "from the likes of" is weak. I mean, it is not as if we are short of playwrites.
Socially, he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart. Dreadfully clumsy rhyme. Your turn to improve this one...assuming you think that's what I've been doing

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, dismissed poetic flair. Still excellent and so stands out. If you can get the rest to this standard....
As one with practiced wits and charm as he,
his nets are cast with care and subtlety. Odd metaphor which does not hook or net me
He tires now with effort climbs the stair He tires now; with effort climbs the stairs
and breathless falls upon the nearest chair. Your poem. Stairs and chair as an off rhyme is just fine. Better than climbs THE stair. Note the period. Everytime you write a sentence USE one.
and breathless falls upon that cozy chair,
with age, though aspirations debonair. New sentence. "With age, through aspirations debonair,
the spirit of the Bard awaits him there.

The Bard's spirit is waiting for him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air? This last line is hopelessly rhetorical and quite superfluous. All is opinion...drop it

Best,
tectak


Portrait of a Lost Poet (edit 1: title change: tectak, Brownlie, Billy, Trueenigma)

A lost poet;
He wanders from himself,
but doesn't know it.
He sees a mentor gain him place,
to please his clique, promote his face.
He thrives on flattery and cheers,
impressing his admirers and peers.
On stage his words were classic parts;
from masters like Williams, Miller and Sartre.
Socially he flourished words of art,
words divided from his self apart.
Is he now upon the stage,
or words and heart in life engaged?

He seeks to overcome the commonplace.
His quickly aging ass would like to grace
a plush and comfy padded rocking chair;
with, what else, unknown poetic flair.
As one of practiced wits and charm as he
his nets are cast with care and subtlety.
He tires and with effort climbs the stair
and breathless, with age, falls upon a chair,
The Bard's spirit awaits him there,
Will he pluck it from the lofty air?

PRACTICE (ERTHONA)
Portrait of a lost poet,

He's lost himself, the truth within him dazed
cast aside for sycophantic praise.
His pride is built on flattery and cheers
impressing his admirers and peers
On stage his work was classic theater parts
The likes of Shakespeare, Miller, Williams, Sartre
Socially he flourished words of art,
the poet hidden from real life apart

---

Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? No...but "With age, though aspirations debonair, the spirit of the Bard awaits him there" ...is.I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue? Then say something intriguing. As it is, the question itself is up in the air.

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

---

---

Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue?

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

---

tectak: I am thinking a lot about the last two lines; and I see it as a philosophical and psychological question because I came from there: I myself would answer the question thus: that I am here, doing this, is testament that he could pluck the Bard from the lofty air. I could write research papers; but the literary aspect; words and phrases like "maze" and sychopanthic": what a treat of learning. Thanks, really, Loretta

[tectak]

---

Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? No...but "With age, though aspirations debonair, the spirit of the Bard awaits him there" ...is.I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue? Then say something intriguing. As it is, the question itself is up in the air.

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

hmmm it seems to be becoming more comprehensible now. I think you want a sonnet for this. But you need a metaphor first so, Try opening with the theater line then, following that line of thought, build the metaphor by letting his acts mannerisms, and appearances (remember you said portrait) on stage symbolically echo his private life. It's been done many times, but I think you have the beginnings of a new contrast to that echo in the second part than can make it work.

---

Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

---

---

Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue?

---

---

---

Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

---

tectak: I am thinking a lot about the last two lines; and I see it as a philosophical and psychological question because I came from there: I myself would answer the question thus: that I am here, doing this, is testament that he could pluck the Bard from the lofty air. I could write research papers; but the literary aspect; words and phrases like "maze" and sychopanthic": what a treat of learning. Thanks, really, Loretta

Hi Loretta,
Slightly off message but I think you need a colonoscopy with a view to surgical removal
Best,
tectak

[LorettaYoung]

---

Hi tectak: thanks for your crits; really helpful; and very much appreciated, love the "trapped in a maze". In S2, age is meant to be in contrast to debonair, ergo "though". Is "With age, through aspirations debonair" a sentence? No...but "With age, though aspirations debonair, the spirit of the Bard awaits him there" ...is.I know what you mean about the last line; then why don't I want to give it up? Because I want to add intrigue? Then say something intriguing. As it is, the question itself is up in the air.

---

---

---

Hi trueenigma: Thank you for reading and commenting. I found your suggestions to be very helpful; and I think you will see I have added some more theater and mannerism, Cheers Loretta

---

---

tectak: I am thinking a lot about the last two lines; and I see it as a philosophical and psychological question because I came from there: I myself would answer the question thus: that I am here, doing this, is testament that he could pluck the Bard from the lofty air. I could write research papers; but the literary aspect; words and phrases like "maze" and sychopanthic": what a treat of learning. Thanks, really, Loretta

Hi Loretta,
Slightly off message but I think you need a colonoscopy with a view to surgical removal
Best,
tectak

---

Hi Loretta,
Slightly off message but I think you need a colonoscopy with a view to surgical removal
Best,
tectak

---

Hi tectak: Yes, you are right about that debonair sentence with a comma. I think that the question is up in the air is good; different people will see it different ways. Perhaps you don't think the question is phrased correctly? I edited it again, hope I did a better job; sober, no merry play this time; and I had the colonoscopy. I alway consider thouhtfully your suggestions, Thanks again, really again Loretta