Hunting haiku

[heslopian]

White sun floats
above gored young fox,
patterned with leaves.

[Erthona]

Jack,

jack be nimble
and jumps a fence
this poem makes
not much sense!
If I could, I'd
take your defense,
but I must defer...
the fox. So soft!

"Hunting haiku" well I pretty sure you didn't find it, or if you did parts are missing, like five silly bulls (maybe they gored the fox) or maybe morae eel (ooh, just writing that made me feel eel). I suppose "above" could be the kiru. The leaves could be the kigo.

Haiku third degree:

How does a fox get gored? What is a white sun? The moon, a searchlight? How does one pattern something with leaves? Can I get a kit at Michaels? Do I get to use an Exacto blade?

Sorry, I can't make fox heads or fox tails of this to hang from my rear-view...no that would be a full moon, not a white sun. Please enlighten lowly reader.

Dale

[John Galt]

I think you have got this. The image is very strong. Line 3 is beautiful, and adds a fine depth to the piece.

The only word that gave me pause for thought was "gored" I could not think what it was that the fox encountered beneath the trees ( I assume this encounter was in a wood because of the "patterned leaves") that may have the "tools" to gore it. There are parts of this country though (England) where we do have wild boar, so that is where the encounter could have taken place. I have to consider the part of the world where the hunting was being done. (do you live in America,? Canada.?)
You could dispense with the comma after fox.
I like to think that looking up, the sun could be "patterned" with leaves too.

I enjoyed this immensely....JG

[ChristopherSea]

I see a lot in the poem Jack. I appreciate the tragedy and statement against illegal fox hunting as quarry for hounds in the UK and worldwide. Even fox chasing without the aid of dogs seems a bit cruel to me. I am a supporter of animal preservation in the wild. There are red foxes in my neighborhood and I welcome the one that chases squirrels from my property. I have even observed a fox catching one of those pesky rodents. Your haiku presents a potent contrast between the brilliant sun and dappled leaf pattern on the carcass of the senselessly slaughtered fox.

[heslopian]

Thank you all for your kind words and feedback

Erthona - Sometimes when looking at the sun it seems white, or just a blur of white light. The fox was gored, or pierced, by hounds' jaws (it's about fox-hunting in England). He's since been left and somewhat covered by fallen leaves, which form a pattern on his body. Thank you for your honest critique, and those lovely puns

John Galt - I live in England, and the fox was gored by a pack of hounds, led by toffs on horseback Thank you for your kind critique! I have to ask, by the way: did you get your name from Atlas Shrugged?

ChristopherSea - Is fox-hunting a thing outside the UK? And by fox-hunting I mean the upper-classes-in-red-coats-and-black-hats-on-horseback variety. Foxes can be useful, as you say, though I feel a bti sorry for the poor squirrel! Thank you for your interesting comments.

[ChristopherSea]

Thank you all for your kind words and feedback

Erthona - Sometimes when looking at the sun it seems white, or just a blur of white light. The fox was gored, or pierced, by hounds' jaws (it's about fox-hunting in England). He's since been left and somewhat covered by fallen leaves, which form a pattern on his body. Thank you for your honest critique, and those lovely puns

John Galt - I live in England, and the fox was gored by a pack of hounds, led by toffs on horseback Thank you for your kind critique! I have to ask, by the way: did you get your name from Atlas Shrugged?

ChristopherSea - Is fox-hunting a thing outside the UK? And by fox-hunting I mean the upper-classes-in-red-coats-and-black-hats-on-horseback variety. Foxes can be useful, as you say, though I feel a bti sorry for the poor squirrel! Thank you for your interesting comments.

Oh yes, there is fox hunting through Europe, United States and Australia. I think that using hounds to chase and tear the poor beast apart is outlawed for the most part. Now, they just flush them out of the bush and chase them into their lairs. The Chase must be halted after they take to going underground.

[heslopian]

That sucks. I always thought of it as a uniquely English phenomena, but then so long as there's weapons and animals there'll be people everywhere hunting those animals with those weapons.

[tectak]

Thank you all for your kind words and feedback

Erthona - Sometimes when looking at the sun it seems white, or just a blur of white light. The fox was gored, or pierced, by hounds' jaws (it's about fox-hunting in England). He's since been left and somewhat covered by fallen leaves, which form a pattern on his body. Thank you for your honest critique, and those lovely puns

John Galt - I live in England, and the fox was gored by a pack of hounds, led by toffs on horseback Thank you for your kind critique! I have to ask, by the way: did you get your name from Atlas Shrugged?

ChristopherSea - Is fox-hunting a thing outside the UK? And by fox-hunting I mean the upper-classes-in-red-coats-and-black-hats-on-horseback variety. Foxes can be useful, as you say, though I feel a bti sorry for the poor squirrel! Thank you for your interesting comments.

Oh yes, there is fox hunting through Europe, United States and Australia. I think that using hounds to chase and tear the poor beast apart is outlawed for the most part. Now, they just flush them out of the bush and chase them into their lairs. The Chase must be halted after they take to going underground.

...or we poison them so that they die rotting in their lairs, or shoot them badly so that they bleed to death slowly or die of starvation and thirst. Snares are often used, too. These catch the fox by paw or muzzle and tighten in the ensuing struggle so that the hapless creature often loses a limb to gangrene before finally succumbing.
I was chatting to a fox last week and he said bring back hunting...but he said it with little hope of it ever happening...what with the plethora of humane ways of killing his species.
Best,
tectak (an english coutryman and animal lover. God preserve us from the ignorant righteous.)

[John Galt]

I have to ask, by the way: did you get your name from Atlas Shrugged?

I did. one of my favourite books.

JG

[ChristopherSea]

Oh yes, there is fox hunting through Europe, United States and Australia. I think that using hounds to chase and tear the poor beast apart is outlawed for the most part. Now, they just flush them out of the bush and chase them into their lairs. The Chase must be halted after they take to going underground.

...or we poison them so that they die rotting in ther lairs, or shoot them badly so that bleed to death slowly or die of starvation or thirst. Snares are often used,too. These catch the fox by paw or muzzle and tighten in the ensuing struggle so that the hapless creature often loses a limb to gangrene before finally succumbing.
I was chatting to a fox last week and he said bring back hunting...but he said it with little hope of it ever happening...what with the plethora of humane ways of killing his species.
Best,
tectak (an english coutryman and animal lover. God preserve us from the ignorant righteous.)
Please do nor reply or I will be forced to remove myself to the Discussion Forum and I have nithing else to say.
The haiku was a little non-conformist but people who are non-conformist say it is OK.
So.
Foxy lies red and dead
in clouds of flies and fuming:
well, in death so would you be.
tectak

Why would folks poison or snare them when it is perfectly legal to shoot them if they are clear pests or overflowing their range? That is just as cruel as making a game of it and watch hounds tear them apart.

[Markworth]

Thank you all for your kind words and feedback

Erthona - Sometimes when looking at the sun it seems white, or just a blur of white light. The fox was gored, or pierced, by hounds' jaws (it's about fox-hunting in England). He's since been left and somewhat covered by fallen leaves, which form a pattern on his body. Thank you for your honest critique, and those lovely puns

John Galt - I live in England, and the fox was gored by a pack of hounds, led by toffs on horseback Thank you for your kind critique! I have to ask, by the way: did you get your name from Atlas Shrugged?

ChristopherSea - Is fox-hunting a thing outside the UK? And by fox-hunting I mean the upper-classes-in-red-coats-and-black-hats-on-horseback variety. Foxes can be useful, as you say, though I feel a bti sorry for the poor squirrel! Thank you for your interesting comments.

At first I preferred the image of the shadows of leaves making the pattern, but I understand it more fully now and prefer it the way you intended. Leaves sticking to blood, now dried, is very powerful.

[heslopian]

Thank you for your kind feedback, Markworth!

[bena]

Just look at all this response to a tiny haiku. It's got to be wonderful to draw so much attention. =)

[heslopian]

I'm not so sure about that, bena. Miley Cyrus has attracted a lot of response to her work Thanks, though!

[just mercedes]

Hi Jack - for me, 'gored' is an action of animal horns or tusks - not teeth or claws. I like the way your final line can refer to both the dead fox and the pattern of sunlight.

[heslopian]

Thank you for your honest and insightful feedback, Mercy. xxx