Shanty Song Edit One (Thanks to all who provided feedback)

[Brownlie]

Edit one Thanks to all who commented:

What do we do as the shanty singers?
What do we do as the shanty singers?
What do we do as the shanty singers
When the rooster’s cawing?

Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
When the rooster’s cawing.

Tar and feathers for a lazy worker
But We’ll tell them in a shallow whisper
Much more softly than a gallant whistler
When the rooster’s cawing.

Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
When the rooster’s cawing.


Murmur on a padlock with a holler
Liven up an eardrum with our liquor
Slosh em like the moonbeam moves the swimmer
When the rooster’s cawing


Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
When the rooster’s cawing.

Lurch him in a limit with a footloose rhythm
Croon him like a cock in a bluebird’s hymning
Lure him to the bottle in the sunbeams shaking
When the rooster’s cawing.

Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
When the rooster’s cawing.

Pit him to the death with the fatal shearer
Peak him with a tune that will spring the winter
Give him with a song, God’s guiding finger!
When the rooster’s cawing.

That’s what we do as the shanty singers
That’s what we do as the shanty singers
That’s what we do as the shanty singers
When the rooster’s cawing.



Original:

I'm oscillating between using we and you throughout. The song is done as a shanty to the tune of the Drunken Sailor song. I realize the apostrophe

What do you do as a shanty singer?
What do you do as a shanty singer?
What do you do as a shanty singer?
Early in the morning?

Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Early in the morning

Tar and feathers for a lazy worker
But We’ll tell them in a shallow whisper
Much more softly than a gallant whistler
Early in the morning

Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Early in the morning


Fasten on a padlock so they can’t holler
Drown em with an eardrum that’s filled with liquor
Teach em like the moonbeam that pulls the swimmer
Early in the Morning

Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Early in the morning

Lure him to the bottle with a small wage for him
Lure him to the bottle with a sea song to sing
Lure him to the bottle in the sunbeams shaking
Early in the morning

Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Day Break and up we rise em
Early in the morning

Pit him to the death with the fatal shearer
Peak him with a tune that will spring the winter
Give him with a song, God’s guiding finger!
Early in the Morning

That’s what you do as a shanty singer
That’s what you do as a shanty singer
That’s what you do as a shanty singer
Early in the morning

[Brownlie]

Brownlie,

I would like to hear this performed. It feels at once jovial and sinister. For some reason it made me think of "The Mariner's Revenge Song" by The Decemberists.

I don't understand the penultimate stanza..the "fatal shearer" eludes me. Perhaps it is a regional reference, or for initiates of a certain group?

Overall, I like it.

Thanks for reading and commenting. By fatal shearers I was referring to the sisters who cut the strings of fate, though shear has more of a connotation that connects it to hair. I think there's a similar phrase in Lycidas. Though, I believe he refers to corrupt Catholics there.

[billy]

it reminds me too much of the drunken sailor to stick with it
if it was perverted, or had no reference to the original i'd probably like what you did, but for me it just feels a few words have been changes. i can see some greek allusion, but not enough to clear the drunken sailor away.

[Brownlie]

it reminds me too much of the drunken sailor to stick with it
if it was perverted, or had no reference to the original i'd probably like what you did, but for me it just feels a few words have been changes. i can see some greek allusion, but not enough to clear the drunken sailor away.

Well, I appreciate your comment and I think you make a good point. The idea I was going for was to make a shanty about a shanty singer because a shanty is meant to be a work song, but I don't really know enough about the genre to compose one from scratch if any one knows if there is a specific form for the genre I would be curious to see it. For my part I mostly used this version of The Drunken Sailor performed by The Irish Rovers here are the lyrics for the original if whoever is reading is still interested.

What will we do with a drunken sailor?
What will we do with a drunken sailor?
What will we do with a drunken sailor?
Early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning

Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Shave his belly with a rusty razor
Early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning

Put him in a long boat till he's sober
Put him in a long boat till he's sober
Put him in a long boat till he's sober
Early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning

Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him
Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him
Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him
Early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning

Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter
Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter
Put him in the bed with the captain's daughter
Early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning

That's what we do with a drunken sailor
That's what we do with a drunken sailor
That's what we do with a drunken sailor
Early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning

Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Way hay and up she rises
Early in the morning
Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/the-irish-rove...geCUD1e.99

I wanted it to sound like the lyrics posted so I went to a haphazard reforming of the song to fit my purposes reworking what I took to be some trochaic starts, some spondees and whatnot. Perhaps there is some better way to go about this project maybe at least changing the refrain "early in the morning"... Thanks for commenting.

[Erthona]

I use to preform this. The first verse we used was "Throw'em in the bunk with the captain's daughter.

Another was "Get Mum tattooed on his arm."

We were always making up new lyrics.


Dale

[billy]

the form is pretty common it's just a given meter. beacuse it's concerned with sailors one sounds similar to another. (well it would wouldn't it)

the chorus' are almost identical,

fuck off and get the coffee
fuck off and get the coffee
fuck off and get the coffee
and don't forget the bagel

[RiverNotch]

It's a fun song, but it'd be more fun if it was more dirty. Or dirtier. Or both.
Or if it had more swing-y moments, more ironic twists, more heel-face turns: the whimsy of a well made joke, if you will, a la The Aristocrats (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats, if you don't get that reference).
Oh, and speaking of references, though the "fatal shearer" reference was good, it's too thick with classicism to be appropriate for this shanty, meffinks. It'd feel righter, I'm feeling, if the poem were emptied of such references, or filled with them.
Actually, filling this with classical metaphors and such would be kinda cool. It'd make the sailors singing this in my head seem... educated somewhat (or perhaps more ancient), and it'd definitely make the poem more original. If you've already done so, though, I guess you should make them a bit clearer.

[Brownlie]

the form is pretty common it's just a given meter. beacuse it's concerned with sailors one sounds similar to another. (well it would wouldn't it)

the chorus' are almost identical,

fuck off and get the coffee
fuck off and get the coffee
fuck off and get the coffee
and don't forget the bagel

I like your set of lyrics here.

There's quite a history behind Shanty's. My version would probably not work as an actual work song. Thanks for commenting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanty_song

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It's a fun song, but it'd be more fun if it was more dirty. Or dirtier. Or both.
Or if it had more swing-y moments, more ironic twists, more heel-face turns: the whimsy of a well made joke, if you will, a la The Aristocrats (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats, if you don't get that reference).
Oh, and speaking of references, though the "fatal shearer" reference was good, it's too thick with classicism to be appropriate for this shanty, meffinks. It'd feel righter, I'm feeling, if the poem were emptied of such references, or filled with them.
Actually, filling this with classical metaphors and such would be kinda cool. It'd make the sailors singing this in my head seem... educated somewhat (or perhaps more ancient), and it'd definitely make the poem more original. If you've already done so, though, I guess you should make them a bit clearer.

Unfortunately I suffer from a little pretentiousness which I might need to work on. The Shanty's could work like the Aristocrat joke as some of the posts on this topic have demonstrated. Cock-a-doodle-do!