The tragedy of a poet without words.

[Apex Vega]

The tragedy of a poet without words

His life consisted of dreams. Castles in the sky and mystic visions lacking a bridge to the world.
Always searching for the now, trying to figure out how it will be when he finally arrives sometime in the future.
Free enough, compared to his contemporaries, but not even close to what he had been shown flashes of from within.
Whispers to himself when nights come to visit, but rarely record the words with his pen though always within reach.
Fearless in encounters with the existential questions of his own rambling mind, his friend, lover and God.

“But what is a poet without words? Or even worse, what is a poet with words but no one to read them?
That must be the definition of ultimate human failure.” he thought. And as his soul tried to communicate, he found
pleasure in his sadness like meeting an old friend. For it was only here, in the cool harbour of melancholy that the universe
slowed down just enough for him to see what was going on. He was caught in the dense vibration of depression thinking
this to be the only place where he was allowed to see, as if some invisible force kept him from melting into the liquid he so much craved.

His highest desire was to dissolve into the collective consciousness of humankind, as a poet using only his words.
But he could rarely find them and on the few occasions he did, their meaning escaped him and he lost touch with his own creation.
He would much rather live in ignorance of his life purpose than knowing it so intimately without ever being able to touch it.

For what is a poet without words?

[ellajam]

Hi, apex. this is a difficult read for me. Can you tell me your reasoning for the center alignment and long lines?

You've got some cliches (castles in the sky) and some beautiful phrasing (harbour of melancholy).

There are some contradictions:
"Always searching for the now, trying to figure out how it will be when he finally arrives sometime in the future."
which may be intentional, I'm not sure. I'm having trouble making sense of some of it.

I hope someone will have some more useful critique for you, are you hoping to edit?

Good luck with it.

The tragedy of a poet without words

His life consisted of dreams. Castles in the sky and mystic visions lacking a bridge to the world.
Always searching for the now, trying to figure out how it will be when he finally arrives sometime in the future.
Free enough, compared to his contemporaries, but not even close to what he had been shown flashes of from within.
Whispers to himself when nights come to visit, but rarely record the words with his pen though always within reach.
Fearless in encounters with the existential questions of his own rambling mind, his friend, lover and God.

“But what is a poet without words? Or even worse, what is a poet with words but no one to read them?
That must be the definition of ultimate human failure.” he thought. And as his soul tried to communicate, he found
pleasure in his sadness like meeting an old friend. For it was only here, in the cool harbour of melancholy that the universe
slowed down just enough for him to see what was going on. He was caught in the dense vibration of depression thinking
this to be the only place where he was allowed to see, as if some invisible force kept him from melting into the liquid he so much craved.

His highest desire was to dissolve into the collective consciousness of humankind, as a poet using only his words.
But he could rarely find them and on the few occasions he did, their meaning escaped him and he lost touch with his own creation.
He would much rather live in ignorance of his life purpose than knowing it so intimately without ever being able to touch it.

For what is a poet without words?

[Apex Vega]

Hi Ellajam, and thank you for your time.

The composition is just the most natural way for me to write it, and read it. Just follow the commas and you will read it the way I would speak it. The center alignment isn't really anything more than my shallow viewpoint, I think it looks better

And yes, the contradiction is intentional. He is always searching for the now, and by trying to figure out how it will be in the future, he will always continue to search for it, never finding it. Like i think we humans often do, trying to get something while we are doing actions that lead us in the opposite direction.

I am very open to do some editing if someone offers good suggestions on where I should re-phrase etc.

[rowens]

The struggle to come through with poetry in writing about the failure to write poetry isn't working here. What is a poet without words, in the sense you're talking about? A person with an artistic temperament but no ability; I heard that on a tv show.

But you show you have the ability to form a poem. The words are just lackluster in this case. "Fearless in encounters with the existential questions of his own rambling mind, his friend, lover and God." "His highest desire was to dissolve into the collective consciousness of humankind, as a poet using only his words." You're just hovering over the surface, or tip-toeing on a fluffy mattress with this stuff. There are generic signs, "existential questions" and "collective consciousness", and you, or the speaker, are saying there's nothing to be done. And nothing is.

[Apex Vega]

Thank you rowens.

I didn't use more than a hour and a half on this and it clearly shows. Just an inspired evening that ended in some quick writing, but it's very evident that i haven't dived deep and long enough with exploring my thoughts around this subject. I personally don't think the topic itself is so bad, but as you say, just hovering on the surface.

I would like to hear a little bit more directly what you feel should be done to get the full potential out of it though, or do you think the topic is a lost case ?

[QDeathstar]

A poet without words is a mime.

I think the poem needs a trim. And I don't think the third person view helps it it. First person could be more intense, since the speaker has something to gain or lose, not "he" who. I would also attempt to explain why a poet without words is a tragedy at all. If he is a poet without words perhaps he misinterpreted his life's calling. That's the real tragedy here.

A poet without words is someone sad and absurd.

Choked. Hacking letters

into
something
centered.

[Erthona]

Not to be flippant or mean spirited, but this seems to be talking about a person who wants to be a poet/artist/musician but simply lacks the talent. I see no insight into the mystery of the creative process, It reads like hundreds of literary critics that have no talent and so they critique.
The question, "What is a poet without words?" No poet at all. Poets often have difficultly finding the right word or right set of words. Poets even ramble on when they claim to be artistically blocked, usually about being "artistically blocked".

"His highest desire was to dissolve into the collective consciousness of humankind"

That's not a poet, that's a yogi. A yogi wants to lose his ego/self/being in a higher consciousness. Poets want the higher consciousness to speak through them in the form of inspiration, for poets are the interpreters of inspiration.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
As to the center justify. Drop it. I don't care if you like it. When I was a child I liked my baby blanket, but eventually I let go of it. There is no justification for center justify except in regards to concrete poetry when one is making an image of the words. It is cruel to your readers to force them to read something in center justify, and they will quickly stop reading anything you write, no matter how brilliant (and this is far from that). If for no other reason it is just simply rude.

Best,


Dale

[Apex Vega]

Great. Thank you, Qdeathstar and Dale for taking the time and helping me on my way. It is really helpful.

I will not even try to justify my centering, it will not happen again!


I only have one objection Dale, and that is the distinction you are making between a yogi and a poet. I see them as intimately related. There are many yogis, monks, zen priests and sufi saints that are poets in the truest sense of the word. We are all spiritual beings heading somewhere, a poet is someone who writes down his journey and shares it with the world.