I have this picture of us… it’s the only one.

[Harry9295]

I have this picture of us… it’s the only one.
She’s still smiling.
She doesn’t smile like that anymore… at least not around me.
Sometimes I stare at it, wishing I could go back…yearning for another chance.
Maybe it could have been different…maybe not.
Either way, I’ll never forget that smile.
She doesn’t smile like that anymore.

[Todd]

Hi Harry,

A few comments for you. Watch the ellipses, they're often overdone. I think also the "She" needs to be replaced with "You" and then the tenses fixed accordingly. The way you have it here is like how a movie gives us exposition that the characters already know. Also, there isn't a lot happening here. Consider looking to your content and raising the stakes more.

Just some initial thoughts.

Best,

Todd