Realization

[MT-EMPTY]

I realized after i posted this that there is some flaws in the text, i corrected some, now there are not any big flaws except some akward parts that needs to be changed

This time it’s real, this time what I feel I no longer will conceal.
The loneliness is constant, the fear has stolen to many opportunities
the dark side of my mind, needs to see the light
the bright side of my mind, knows that I can’t make it right.
Living with my mistakes is possible, but showing my deepest flaws
for people to accept or reject, is something I find so hard
as rejection is what I expect. I've done so much, so much wrong
I can’t forget, that all i gave the world and my self, was pure neglectance
The good inside me won’t erease these facts, of what that came
from my fear shame and selfish acts; with neglect and violence and anger
i reacted.
Into myself I collapsed, forget all the love that I had, embraced the hate
that quickly took form, quickly I felt, like I was outside of the norm
I expected what no one can, that all the others should understand.
I began a wreckless endeavour to escape reality and the emotions it instilled.
With chemicals, the pesticides for the pests of the mind, i would unwind
seeking the fastest route to the end of the line, to have a hell of a time,
and forget the world that seemed so cold and insincere.
In my ignorance I never saw that the problem was not just coming from outside
But mainly what I felt inside; that they were not wrong, and I was not right.
That I we all have to find ourselves through trial and errors,
that I was part of the problem, and couldn’t blame others,
for not finding the solution, that were all born and formed
through mistakes and confusion, curiosity, and only solidified
when we open our eyes and see, we are not only being shaped
but also shape.

I really want some feedback on this, and i would also like to know which genre it is; i think it's lyrical but i'm not sure. I didn't post this in the poem forums cause i'm not sure it's a poem and wouldn't risk it getting judged on that basis if it's something else

[rowens]

This time it’s real, this time what I feel I no longer will conceal.
The loneliness is constant, the fear has stolen to many opportunities
the dark side of my mind, needs to see the light
the bright side of my mind, knows that I can’t make it right.


Throughout it you have these rhyme without reason things that dictate so much.


With chemicals, the pesticides for the pests of the mind, i would unwind
seeking the fastest route to the end of the line, to have a hell of a time,


You're getting drunk with rhyme and carried away.

[MT-EMPTY]

Could you specify what you mean by rhymes without reason? Do you mean they don't make sense to you?

[rowens]

This time it’s real, this time what I feel I no longer will conceal.

Both phrases don't seem necessary. You manage to have real, feel, will and conceal; but the line itself doesn't say much. It's saying too much while saying too little.

It's serious now, I can't hold this in any longer.

That loses the rhymes and still doesn't say much, but it's less wordy and starts things off better. My version of the line isn't any better than yours. Though your opening line will have some people assuming you're going to keep using unnecessary phrases to fit rhymes in, and they won't read it.

The good inside me won’t erease these facts, of what that came
from my fear shame and selfish acts; with neglect and violence and anger
i reacted.

You could try to cut back on the wordiness and only use rhymes where they're effective. What is and isn't effective you just have to acquire an ear for.