Pie

[Erthona]

.

Dark clouds tumble over into
puffy white meringue pie.
Using a lightning fork
I take a bite while thunder rumbles below.
There’ll be a loosening in the tornado belt
as weather swells.


–Erthona

Note: I incorporated ideas of Chris, ed, and Marcella. Thanks for the input.

©2014

[ChristopherSea]

It's a delicious little extended metaphor Dale. I saw those dark clouds as your beard. I wonder if that could be illustrated for others to see. ‘Fork of lightening’ seems more natural to me. What about: ‘A bite settles the rumbling thunder below’? Do you need that ‘soon’ or can it be put after ’belt’, as it may read better either deleting or moving it. Just a couple ideas that struck me, see what you think. I am dying for a big cloud of meringue now!/Chris

[abu nuwas]

Meringue:good

State of Dale's digestion: TMI

Lightening/lightning: too much for pedant

[ellajam]

Well, at least it will knock some of the pollen off.

I'd prefer
Soon there'll be a loosening
if you want to keep soon.