REALLY ... Just for Fun

[fim]

Out in the Cold
fim 8/7/13

Barren limbs sift the light from a gold-medal moon,
infusing patterns on my leave-strewn floor.
Rough bark against my back, through a dilapidated jacket
collar raised, huddling knees to stay warm.

A late night dinner in a ragged-edged can
a torn sleeve and a glove length away,
the candle’s flame dances to the light breeze’s beat
simmering soup – the delight of my day.

Snowflakes swirl, glistening in the park-side streetlight
dampening the commotion of the city’s zeal,
insulating me from an adjacent world
every bit as tangible as it seems unreal.

Across the void frequented by cars and taxies,
through a broad window a crystal chandelier
randomly casts colors on a spotless sidewalk
but a stone’s throw from where I sit here.

Within, warmth ... evidenced by the occupants’ attire,
postures free from frigidness’s curl,
ample libations promote abundant smiles,
carefree, in that so-distant world.

Lively eyes caress the smooth complexions of exuberant revelers,
their every word dripping with snooty aplomb
but know this … only the lurid iridescence of obscurity
is tolerated within the chandeliered room.

Such is the condition of the simple poet,
overwhelmed by the obscurity,
mandated by the masters of the minion members
of PigPen Poetry.




(please don't ban me for my irreverent insolence ... I genuinely have great respect for the masters of the minion members @ PigPen!)



[rowens]

Most things are pretty simple to understand. There are very few people here that write obscure poetry, or anything complicated.

Most of what is popular or good or well done is obscure to me these days. I pay too little attention to decency and common sense.

But Internet sites are a fine new age Purgatory for us that fucked up too many times in actual public.

[fim]

Most things are pretty simple to understand. There are very few people here that write obscure poetry, or anything complicated.

Most of what is popular or good or well done is obscure to me these days. I pay too little attention to decency and common sense.

But Internet sites are a fine new age Purgatory for us that fucked up too many times in actual public.

Thanks rowens (of many stars). Scale of 1-10 ... did you like it? This poem, for all of its deceptive non-conformity, reflects the spirit of a poet striving to ... conform. Not because I feel like I have to, but rather that I will become a more capable poet for trying.
Thanks again for the read.
fim

[rowens]

I think that some of your poems got passed over in the past for length, and lack of time by readers, and no other reasons. But now I see your last one in Mild has a critique.

I read this poem, but since it's in fun, I went straight into talking instead of critiquing.

It has character, it has intelligence and understanding. From 1-10, I give it a 6, but I have superstitious ideas with numbers, so take that as meaning above Novice, and deserving of Serious Critique. I'll move it up to 7, since that's a good number too. Good and above average.

It's topical with the website reference at the end. But it shows style and attention to detail and an interesting personality talking.

You don't have much to worry about. Unless you are motivated by worry; and that's what I meant anyway, in a good way.

And I only have many stars because of quantity of words.

[fim]

I think that some of your poems got passed over in the past for length, and lack of time by readers, and no other reasons. But now I see your last one in Mild has a critique.

I read this poem, but since it's in fun, I went straight into talking instead of critiquing.

It has character, it has intelligence and understanding. From 1-10, I give it a 6, but I have superstitious ideas with numbers, so take that as meaning above Novice, and deserving of Serious Critique. I'll move it up to 7, since that's a good number too. Good and above average.

It's topical with the website reference at the end. But it shows style and attention to detail and an interesting personality talking.

You don't have much to worry about. Unless you are motivated by worry; and that's what I meant anyway, in a good way.

And I only have many stars because of quantity of words.

Thank you again rowens (of many words)

[rowens]

You seem to be writing fine to me.

[billy]

no ban but we shall shun you to death

some of the rhymes are so obscure that they don't exist :J:

i enjoyed a lot of it, as rowens stated, better than average.

---

how many stars do i have a star filled fim

[fim]

no ban but we shall shun you to death

some of the rhymes are so obscure that they don't exist :J:

i enjoyed a lot of it, as rowens stated, better than average.

---

how many stars do i have a star filled fim

billy,
I have been a proud participant of ThePigPen workshop long enough to understand ... some of the participants with no stars probably have the most stars of all.
Man I feel great ... I thought this poem might get me banned! I feel a kid at Christmas. Oh boy, ... irony - the poem doesn't get me banned ... then I get banned for excessive use of clichés ... the kid at Christmas!
You all are good people!!!
fim

[billy]

so you write a poem you think might get you banned and think....

who cares i'll put it up anyway

you could get banned for calling milo a good person.
it's great when you get shit feedback and they say. it's nothing personal as far as the poet is concerned, it's all about the poem.

the poet spends six hours bleeding from the eyes asking "why me lord, why me"

[Truerenigma]

Reminds me of Animal Farm for some reason. BTW, who are the masters of minions?


Fear, Surprise, Ruthlessness, an almost fanatical Devotion to the Pope, and Really Nice Red Uniforms.

[billy]

milo and tom

[Truerenigma]

Their chief weapon is fear..fear and Surprise...their two main weapons are fear and Surprise... and ruthless efficiency... Their "three" main weapons are fear, surprise, and efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope...wait..their "four"...no..

[fim]

Reminds me of Animal Farm for some reason. BTW, who are the masters of minions?


Fear, Surprise, Ruthlessness, an almost fanatical Devotion to the Pope, and Really Nice Red Uniforms.

On a private email you only get to list 5 addressees. I picked the first 5 TPP masters of the minion members that came to mind - Leanne, billy, Cidermaid, tektac and milo. Sorry if I neglected to mention other similarly distinguished critiquing contributors.
Frank

---

Reminds me of Animal Farm for some reason. BTW, who are the masters of minions?


Fear, Surprise, Ruthlessness, an almost fanatical Devotion to the Pope, and Really Nice Red Uniforms.

On a private email you only get to list 5 addressees. I picked the first 5 TPP masters of the minion members that came to mind - Leanne, billy, Cidermaid, tektac and milo. Sorry if I neglected to mention other similarly distinguished critiquing contributors.
Frank

[ChristopherSea]

First, this poem is neither simple in mind or image. There are some well wrought visuals and sophistication culminating in that penultimate stanza. I can relate to your editorial herein, but having written poetry for over thirty years, I can almost guarantee that no legitimate poetry journal or society will consider your work without either a sophisticated use of vocabulary, a new way of approaching themes, a degree of abstraction, a circuitous albeit poetic ride through out and most significantly something fresh and untried. Perhaps, all of the above and more. In some instances a new lexicon needs to be created and minimally stretching the limits of present day word usage. Most of us won't comprehend modern poetry or the old masters for that matter without considerably effort and multiple re-visitations. There is nothing really snooty about it, but it is necessary for their publication consideration. An art gallery doesn't want a child's crayon drawing, but they won't accept a perfect copy of a Van Gough either. It's very difficult to be original in art and literature and it does drive one to their limits. I am not certain if complexity and obscurity is a requisite for the owners and guests of this site, but spurring folks to go beyond the mundane and cliché and same tired stuff is exciting. Their objectives seem genuine and righteous with the goal of providing a viable forum for improving our work. By the way, this was a blast!

[Truerenigma]

Reminds me of Animal Farm for some reason. BTW, who are the masters of minions?


Fear, Surprise, Ruthlessness, an almost fanatical Devotion to the Pope, and Really Nice Red Uniforms.

On a private email you only get to list 5 addressees. I picked the first 5 TPP masters of the minion members that came to mind - Leanne, billy, Cidermaid, tektac and milo. Sorry if I neglected to mention other similarly distinguished critiquing contributors.
Frank

---

Reminds me of Animal Farm for some reason. BTW, who are the masters of minions?


Fear, Surprise, Ruthlessness, an almost fanatical Devotion to the Pope, and Really Nice Red Uniforms.

On a private email you only get to list 5 addressees. I picked the first 5 TPP masters of the minion members that came to mind - Leanne, billy, Cidermaid, tektac and milo. Sorry if I neglected to mention other similarly distinguished critiquing contributors.
Frank

I think you've about covered it.

[fim]

First, this poem is neither simple in mind or image. There are some well wrought visuals and sophistication culminating in that penultimate stanza. I can relate to your editorial herein, but having written poetry for over thirty years, I can almost guarantee that no legitimate poetry journal or society will consider your work without either a sophisticated use of vocabulary, a new way of approaching themes, a degree of abstraction, a circuitous albeit poetic ride through out and most significantly something fresh and untried. Perhaps, all of the above and more. In some instances a new lexicon needs to be created and minimally stretching the limits of present day word usage. Most of us won't comprehend modern poetry or the old masters for that matter without considerably effort and multiple re-visitations. There is nothing really snooty about it, but it is necessary for their publication consideration. An art gallery doesn't want a child's crayon drawing, but they won't accept a perfect copy of a Van Gough either. It's very difficult to be original in art and literature and it does drive one to their limits. I am not certain if complexity and obscurity is a requisite for the owners and guests of this site, but spurring folks to go beyond the mundane and cliché and same tired stuff is exciting. Their objectives seem genuine and righteous with the goal of providing a viable forum for improving our work. By the way, this was a blast!

Christopher Sea,
Thanks. At this stage in my development insight and understanding seem to occur best reading critiques and striving to embrace the guidance they contain. I want to read poetry and learn from that ... but a lot of the stuff I read I just don't understand, hence the frustration expressed by "Out in the Cold." I can almost guarantee that no legitimate poetry journal or society will consider your work without either a sophisticated use of vocabulary, a new way of approaching themes, a degree of abstraction, a circuitous albeit poetic ride through out and most significantly something fresh and untried. Perhaps, all of the above and more. In some instances a new lexicon needs to be created and minimally stretching the limits present day word usage. contains some really, REALLY good stuff to guide me!
Thanks a bunch,
fim

[ChristopherSea]

Thanks fim, agreed!

[fim]

First, this poem is neither simple in mind or image. There are some well wrought visuals and sophistication culminating in that penultimate stanza. I can relate to your editorial herein, but having written poetry for over thirty years, I can almost guarantee that no legitimate poetry journal or society will consider your work without either a sophisticated use of vocabulary, a new way of approaching themes, a degree of abstraction, a circuitous albeit poetic ride through out and most significantly something fresh and untried. Perhaps, all of the above and more. In some instances a new lexicon needs to be created and minimally stretching the limits of present day word usage. Most of us won't comprehend modern poetry or the old masters for that matter without considerably effort and multiple re-visitations. There is nothing really snooty about it, but it is necessary for their publication consideration. An art gallery doesn't want a child's crayon drawing, but they won't accept a perfect copy of a Van Gough either. It's very difficult to be original in art and literature and it does drive one to their limits. I am not certain if complexity and obscurity is a requisite for the owners and guests of this site, but spurring folks to go beyond the mundane and cliché and same tired stuff is exciting. Their objectives seem genuine and righteous with the goal of providing a viable forum for improving our work. By the way, this was a blast!

ChristopherSea,
rereading your critique/response from a while ago. Just want to say I am, once again, very impressed with your ... awareness of how things really are. Really appreciate your insight!
fim

[ellajam]

Most things are pretty simple to understand. There are very few people here that write obscure poetry, or anything complicated.

Most of what is popular or good or well done is obscure to me these days. I pay too little attention to decency and common sense.

But Internet sites are a fine new age Purgatory for us that fucked up too many times in actual public.

Thanks rowens (of many stars). Scale of 1-10 ... did you like it? This poem, for all of its deceptive non-conformity, reflects the spirit of a poet striving to ... conform. Not because I feel like I have to, but rather that I will become a more capable poet for trying.
Thanks again for the read.
fim

I hear you there. I'm hoping that the work I'm doing here will come back around and close some of the potholes in the poems I was writing before. And it's fun.