Destiny of Rocks

[ConflictRatio]

In the life of constant shame
The hiker shouts before his pain
Walks along the falling rain
Blending in a tear astray

Motives bent by rocky beds
That timber shakes of constant threat
Pushing past debris effects
The life he wants himself to set

Almost to the sky so blue
Avalanche thrown down ensues
Falling down the rocky view
Rocks that cling to empty shoes

[Mopkins]

In the(this/his?) life of constant shame (constant shame is not further developed and thus seems inappropriate to this narrative poem)
The hiker shouts before his pain
Walks along the falling rain (is he Jesus come again to be walking on the water? Perhaps ‘walks along (in) falling rain’)
Blending in a tear astray (yoda-ism should be ‘blending in a stray tear’ to read correctly... an idea- ‘wipes away the tears in vain’)

Motives bent by rocky beds (this implies a river-bed to me which is odd because later in the poem he’s on a mountain top –and how a rocky bed can alter (bend) motives is unclear to me)
That timber shakes of constant threat (assume you’re referring to trees with timber – i would clarify it if that’s what you mean by making it something like – ‘the trees shaking from constant threat’ to hint at the following avalanche))
Pushing past debris effects (affects makes more sense than effects to me)
The life he wants himself to set (yodaism the life he wants to set himself and i don’t see how pushing past debris on a hike would affect the life you set for yourself, though it may affect the path you take on your hike)

Almost to the sky so blue
Avalanche thrown down ensues
Falling down the rocky view
Rocks that cling to empty shoes (how can the rocks both be falling and clinging to empty shoes?)

So, a sad hiker walks in the rain, crying, through rocky beds and trees and debris, when almost to the top of the (presumed) mountain, an avalanche (presumably) kills him, leaving his empty shoes behind? there’s not much to grab the reader and leave an impression.
Some of the sense seems to have been lost in the effort to rhyme, this has caused a few yodaisms, and unclear phrases throughout. I suspect this because I do it myself. Still, it has potential, good luck with your edit. Thanks for the read, Marianne