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In 23 years I've noticed more affluent
families have less food in their fridge.
The only man I've seen pull
off a fedora is Pharrell.
People on Facebook are often pictured
doing things they like,
holding babies and awards.
The only thing I ever like or hold is alcohol.
I also want to eat acid when Facebook asks
questions it already knows the answers to.
Do-it-yourself anything can eat me.
I hate IKEA.
But the thing I hate most is seeing you.
You give us that seasoned stare and
I hope you all swallow a chode
and it crawls back up your throats
only to spatter cum out in front of you while
you're walking and you shit yourselves scared,
slip on semen and crack your heads open
with that short fat cock tickling your uvulas until you
all bleed to death on an open freeway,
writhing and crying for God in your own feculence.
Because the only thing worse than an idiot,
is a stubborn one with a fucking mic.
I'll be there in a minute.
I always go to my profile or someone else's after reading a post so I don't have to scroll to the top and see the logo of that website you talk about. It makes me feel sick, and I'm told that's not normal, but I'm glad it makes me sick and wouldn't want it not to.
That's all I know about this poem other than about the first two lines. I know about that.
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i really like this one. made me laugh. and I actually think I know who Pharell is, so i gave myself extra im-not-really-that-old points which is always uplifting. but i really like facebook and Ikea (in much the same way as i think airports are the most wonderful places in the world, though am absolutely terrified of flying).
thanks 
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NC,
Very funny.
I know who Pharell is, don't really care though, and he looks like Bob Dylan in that fedora. Pretty young looking for forty.
Sounds like you got a bad case of Limbaughitists, or Hanitosis
Loved this part, it is just excellent free flowing vitriol!
"I hope you all swallow a chode
and it crawls back up your throats
only to spatter cum out in front of you while
you're walking and you shit yourselves scared,
slip on semen and crack your heads open
with that short fat cock tickling your uvulas until you
all bleed to death on an open freeway,
writhing and crying for God in your own feculence."
I assume you are using "chode" in its slang sense to mean short stubby penis, and not the past tense of "chide"? You might want to footnote that depending on how common it is. I had never heard it used like that, but then again I am old.
There is a saying:
If you're in your twenties and are not liberal, you have no heart.
If you are in your thirties and are not conservative, you have no children.
If you are in your forties and don't think one is as bad as the other, you have no brain
Beasties,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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People that believe in Creationism are the same one's that refute global warming. They are a real drag on scientific advancement and they propagate continued destruction and consumption of our planet. 
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
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dale just reminded me of this wilde quote:
“The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.”
― Oscar Wilde
and further, if pharell really does look like bob dylan in fedora then i am certainly thinking of the wrong person  . and i was certain chode meant something else, like a beer bong or something... christ, i am lost now.
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(02-27-2014, 04:07 AM)rowens Wrote: I always go to my profile or someone else's after reading a post so I don't have to scroll to the top and see the logo of that website you talk about. It makes me feel sick, and I'm told that's not normal, but I'm glad it makes me sick and wouldn't want it not to.
That's all I know about this poem other than about the first two lines. I know about that.
The entire last half isn't about that website.
(02-27-2014, 04:24 AM)shemthepenman Wrote: i really like this one. made me laugh. and I actually think I know who Pharell is, so i gave myself extra im-not-really-that-old points which is always uplifting. but i really like facebook and Ikea (in much the same way as i think airports are the most wonderful places in the world, though am absolutely terrified of flying).
thanks
Airports? M'eh
Dale, that's the only chode I ever heard of.
And Christopher: I know. It breaks me heart
I'll be there in a minute.
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(02-27-2014, 02:24 AM)newsclippings Wrote: In 23 years I've noticed more affluent
families have less food in their fridge.
The only man I've seen pull
off a fedora is Pharrell.
People on Facebook are often pictured
doing things they like,
holding babies and awards.
The only thing I ever like or hold is alcohol.
I also want to eat acid when Facebook asks
questions it already knows the answers to.
Do-it-yourself anything can eat me.
I hate IKEA.
But the thing I hate most is seeing you.
You give us that seasoned stare and
I hope you all swallow a chode
and it crawls back up your throats
only to spatter cum out in front of you while
you're walking and you shit yourselves scared,
slip on semen and crack your heads open
with that short fat cock tickling your uvulas until you
all bleed to death on an open freeway,
writhing and crying for God in your own feculence.
Because the only thing worse than an idiot,
is a stubborn one with a fucking mic.
Hi, Sandra, this is really effective, and an interesting read. I found the first two lines to be serious enough that I was not expecting the petty, funny gripes that followed, very relatable and readying me for strong opinions. The first half served well to highlight your fabulous rant.
Thanks for posting it, a treat.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
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(03-01-2014, 10:35 PM)ellajam Wrote: (02-27-2014, 02:24 AM)newsclippings Wrote: In 23 years I've noticed more affluent
families have less food in their fridge.
The only man I've seen pull
off a fedora is Pharrell.
People on Facebook are often pictured
doing things they like,
holding babies and awards.
The only thing I ever like or hold is alcohol.
I also want to eat acid when Facebook asks
questions it already knows the answers to.
Do-it-yourself anything can eat me.
I hate IKEA.
But the thing I hate most is seeing you.
You give us that seasoned stare and
I hope you all swallow a chode
and it crawls back up your throats
only to spatter cum out in front of you while
you're walking and you shit yourselves scared,
slip on semen and crack your heads open
with that short fat cock tickling your uvulas until you
all bleed to death on an open freeway,
writhing and crying for God in your own feculence.
Because the only thing worse than an idiot,
is a stubborn one with a fucking mic.
Hi, Sandra, this is really effective, and an interesting read. I found the first two lines to be serious enough that I was not expecting the petty, funny gripes that followed, very relatable and readying me for strong opinions. The first half served well to highlight your fabulous rant.
Thanks for posting it, a treat.
Makes me wish I still had that pic of me in a fedora. Man, I looked good. Of course harrison ford pulled it off almost as well as me.
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Ah, but you wouldn't post it even if you had it, tease.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
Posts: 845
Threads: 57
Joined: Aug 2013
Was that hat actually a Fedora? It looked too big for one. Shoot, now I have to look it up.
You won't believe this! That hat is called 'The Poet', very fitting for milo.
http://www.swaineadeney.co.uk/about/indiana_jones_hat
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
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(03-02-2014, 12:33 AM)ChristopherSea Wrote: Was that hat actually a Fedora? It looked too big for one. Shoot, now I have to look it up.
You won't believe this! That hat is called 'The Poet', very fitting for milo.
http://www.swaineadeney.co.uk/about/indiana_jones_hat
I actually did know that! It is a type of the fedora style though.
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chode is a new word for me. i shall use it a lot...the word, not the chode though if anyone interested in a chodown i'm up for a laugh :J:
i hate face book and i have to stay on it cos of my family (it's a connection when you're 6000 miles away.
at least the poem carried no vitriol 
i just called addy chode face and she smiled....if only she knew what it meant hehehe
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The Tea Party party in Texas,
Would deport all the blacks and the mexes.
If God (they all say)
Had desired them to stay;
They'd be white and they'd cheat on their taxes*.
*Various rich Tea Party members in Texas have been
exposed for taking illegal (and massive) tax deductions
on donations to Tea Party organizations.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
Every once in a while its a nice change of pace from the deep symbolism and high language of most poems to just see someone lash out, in poetic form even, with all guns blazing and nothing held back. The images were vitriol-filled, stark, and oh so clear, and the feelings expressed are just as much part of the human experience as the oft-written about love and beauty. Message received.
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