Terminus

[Alex13]

I have left you my heart, in a jar by the stairs.
I attached a letter.
Read it.
Understand.
Forgiveness is for the weak, we have failed.
We are done.
And for this, I say farewell, leaving the one thing I cannot control.
A muscle, strength.
And though it no longer beats, its existence tells our story.
Love lost, love found, love lost again.
Preserve me here.
Forever.

[kingmicahde]

I like this it is a little morbid. But I like it. I am not sure on the structure but I like it

[kindofahippy]

Line seven seems a bit stressed, maybe "leaving the one thing" would improve rhythm. Other than that, a great tragic poem.

[Alex13]

Line seven seems a bit stressed, maybe "leaving the one thing" would improve rhythm. Other than that, a great tragic poem.

It absolutely improved the rhythm, thank you