Waiting for the tide

[Keith]

Edit 3

As old as the grain,
I sit lacquered to my seat
and dust for fingerprints
on the plumb curve of a merlot.
Ripping fresh crusty bread
like a sea dog with a sock.


Edit 2
With emery cloth hands
dusted like a weight-lifter's,
I smooth out crafted curves
and blow gently with the grain,
billowing thoughts of summer sails.

[just mercedes]

With emery cloth hands
dusted like a weightlifter,
I caress the natural curves
and blow gently with the grain,
dreaming of summer sails.

If you were a NZ Maori you would be banned from carving - it is an insult to Tane, the God of trees, to blow on wood when you carve. tut tut.

Apart from that, I like the poem - the dreamy feeling at the end offsets nicely the specific first lines. I also like that you blow with the grain, it focuses my attention on the wood - is it the same carving that had a mar in it?

I'm wondering if the second line should be "dusted like a weight-lifter's".

[Keith]

With emery cloth hands
dusted like a weightlifter,
I caress the natural curves
and blow gently with the grain,
dreaming of summer sails.

If you were a NZ Maori you would be banned from carving - it is an insult to Tane, the God of trees, to blow on wood when you carve. tut tut.

Apart from that, I like the poem - the dreamy feeling at the end offsets nicely the specific first lines. I also like that you blow with the grain, it focuses my attention on the wood - is it the same carving that had a mar in it?

I'm wondering if the second line should be "dusted like a weight-lifter's".

I can see your change working so I've done a quick edit thanks for that, no more blowing on wood for me. Best Keith

[Erthona]

To blow on wood when you carve, but he was sanding if he was using "emery cloth". I liked it the first way better, with some minor changes:

"I caress the natural curves
blowing gently with the grain,
and dream of summer sails."

"billowing thoughts" seems almost cliche to me, or maybe it's because it would be the sort of thing one would read on those vanity web sites. I has a nice sound, I suppose, but it doesn't really say anything.

Dale

[billy]

i liked both versions and am left with a vision of boat building and the love of wood.

no nits really.

Thanks Billy you got what I was hoping to give. But maybe it needs more

[ChristopherSea]

'Repairs' sounds a bit dull and flat for this lovely piece! What about something like 'Refurbished' or 'Rehabilitation'? This brought back memories of a spring when I helped a girlfriend repair her Hobie Cat, a very fast catamaran with fiberglass hull. Talk about dust!!!

[bena]

Blowing wood sounds dirty, you dirty minded people.

Oh wait, thats just me.

Chris....that fiberglass dust is the worst! I used to work on a line for tvs and put eyelets into the circuit boards. Probably one thing that destroyed my lungs.

but you are right....'repairs' sounds almost as flat as the world before it was discovered.

[Keith]

To blow on wood when you carve, but he was sanding if he was using "emery cloth". I liked it the first way better, with some minor changes:

"I caress the natural curves
blowing gently with the grain,
and dream of summer sails."

"billowing thoughts" seems almost cliche to me, or maybe it's because it would be the sort of thing one would read on those vanity web sites. I has a nice sound, I suppose, but it doesn't really say anything.

Dale

Thanks Dale I agree it is a bit cliche I will have a think. Best Keith

---

'Repairs' sounds a bit dull and flat for this lovely piece! What about something like 'Refurbished' or 'Rehabilitation'? This brought back memories of a spring when I helped a girlfriend repair her Hobie Cat, a very fast catamaran with fiberglass hull. Talk about dust!!!

I hate working with fiberglass, its too messy. I will change the title as I agree with your comment. best Keith

---

Blowing wood sounds dirty, you dirty minded people.

Oh wait, thats just me.

Chris....that fiberglass dust is the worst! I used to work on a line for tvs and put eyelets into the circuit boards. Probably one thing that destroyed my lungs.

but you are right....'repairs' sounds almost as flat as the world before it was discovered.

I have to say Bena it did cross my mind, but I thought na no one will mention it

I agree about the title so will do something else.Best Keith