Leap

[LickinLyrics]

Stay close to me so you can bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Smile, smile and bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Everyday is hard but it won’t stop me
From being myself and feeling so free

Stay close, stay near, smile ear to ear
And when you’re around, I won’t feel the fear

Every bit of happiness counts in our favor
Every bit of joy is such a tasteful flavor

I think of you so often that it fills me full of riches
I’m the richest man full of love’s ambition

I’ll be here to catch you
When you feel like letting go
So let us take this leap now
And let us take it slow

And I’ll be here for you, I swear
I’ll be here, it’s true
That’s why I wrote this song, you know
But I think you already knew

Stay close to me so you can bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Smile, smile and bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Everyday is hard but it won’t stop me
From being myself and feeling so free

Stay close, stay near, smile ear to ear
And when you’re around, I won’t feel the fear

So here we are again, here we are, here we are again
Playing like we’re friends, like we’re friends, like it’s just pre-tend

I can feel it’s deeper, you’re a keeper, you’re a golden girl
Somewhere in the future I can see that I’ll be holding you

I’ll be here to catch you
When you feel like letting go
So let us take this leap now
And let us take it slow

And I’ll be here for you, I swear
I’ll be here, it’s true
That’s why I wrote this song, you know
But I think you already knew

[DominoMan]

Hmmm I like it, but at some point after the first few verses the words dont seem to flow easily. I mean I just really liked how the meaning and the flow seemed to go well together.
It has a kind of lyrical feel to it which i can relate to, being a musician myself and trying to write poetry.

[LickinLyrics]

Hmmm I like it, but at some point after the first few verses the words dont seem to flow easily. I mean I just really liked how the meaning and the flow seemed to go well together.
It has a kind of lyrical feel to it which i can relate to, being a musician myself and trying to write poetry.

Could you quote where the flow seems forced, or off please?

[billy]

i know or presume they're lyrics from your nic

that doesn't mean that line or phrase repetition is a must. a suggestion would be to keep any repetition for any chorus you come up with. in that instance it would class as a refrain, often a refrain would come at the beginning or end of a stanza but seldom in a couplet.
feeling so free...reads as forced
feeling free ...no so much

And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest
would read better as
I promise you I can handle the rest.
padded lines may sound okay in a song but as a poem not so much.

the above can be done with more of the lines but it all depends how
far you want to go.
i'd suggest swapping a fair bit of out for more original lines, music doesn't have to be cliche or generic (a lot here is cliché and generic. ) make it personal.
the rhymes aren't great, some are missing and the others are expected.
thanks for the read.

thanks for the read.

Stay close to me so you can bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Smile, smile and bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Everyday is hard but it won’t stop me
From being myself and feeling so free

Stay close, stay near, smile ear to ear
And when you’re around, I won’t feel the fear

Every bit of happiness counts in our favor
Every bit of joy is such a tasteful flavor

I think of you so often that it fills me full of riches
I’m the richest man full of love’s ambition

I’ll be here to catch you
When you feel like letting go
So let us take this leap now
And let us take it slow

And I’ll be here for you, I swear
I’ll be here, it’s true
That’s why I wrote this song, you know
But I think you already knew

Stay close to me so you can bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Smile, smile and bring out my best
And I promise you that I can handle all of the rest

Everyday is hard but it won’t stop me
From being myself and feeling so free

Stay close, stay near, smile ear to ear
And when you’re around, I won’t feel the fear

So here we are again, here we are, here we are again
Playing like we’re friends, like we’re friends, like it’s just pre-tend

I can feel it’s deeper, you’re a keeper, you’re a golden girl
Somewhere in the future I can see that I’ll be holding you

I’ll be here to catch you
When you feel like letting go
So let us take this leap now
And let us take it slow

And I’ll be here for you, I swear
I’ll be here, it’s true
That’s why I wrote this song, you know
But I think you already knew

[DominoMan]

Could you quote where the flow seems forced, or off please?

The line Billy mentioned above, which is a large part of the poem also
"I think of you so often that it fills me full of riches"

i think you should try economizing on words like That, So, This and the likes.

"I think of you often, it fills me with riches"

Sometimes, the use of that and this brings about a nursery rhymeish kinda feel to it. That is why I said, the deep plot and the flow of words didnt seem to go well together at so me parts.

[LickinLyrics]

Good input! I can understand all of those points too. I'll keep them in mind for the revision! Thank you.

[DominoMan]

I'm asking out of curiosity, but what are the stanza structures based on?