Star Crossed Inuit

[milo]

There was a place up north where mountains shook
and lava flowed like lava flowed like blood
and melted ice like proper lava should.
The king, a mighty glacier of Inuk
desired a queen of ice and so he took
his rival's daughter off to bear his brood.
Would hatred stay as strong as frozen mud
or melt like piles of snow in a chinook?

A veil of frost serves as a wedding train;
a seal-skin coat that makes her look as plain
as tundral plains, as dry as frost-bite burns.
No wedding day should be this cold, she yearns
for daffodils, for sun drenched summer rain.
Her bridal bed's adorned with frozen ferns.

[Truerenigma]

Hey, you did write the fire and ice poem.

I'll say one thing: The lava sure is flowing.

[milo]

Hey, you did write the fire and ice poem.

I'll say one thing: The lava sure is flowing.

As proper lava should.

Initially I just wanted "the lava flowed like lava" but then the lava flowed like blood occurred to me. Too tough to choose so I opted for both.

[Truerenigma]

did you see inanely historically inaccurate sonnet?

[milo]

did you see inanely historically inaccurate sonnet?

I did not, is it available on Netflix?

[Truerenigma]

did you see inanely historically inaccurate sonnet?

I did not, is it available on Netflix?

No, you have to get it on pay-per-view in the "wot people think" section.

[milo]

did you see inanely historically inaccurate sonnet?

I did not, is it available on Netflix?

No, you have to get it on pay-per-view in the "wot people think" section.

Ah, yes, the one with "did write".

I think it may be metrically and historically inaccurate.

[Truerenigma]

I did not, is it available on Netflix?

No, you have to get it on pay-per-view in the "wot people think" section.

Ah, yes, the one with "did write".

I think it may be metrically and historically inaccurate.

honestly I have no idea. "did write" seems to be an iamb though.

[milo]

No, you have to get it on pay-per-view in the "wot people think" section.

Ah, yes, the one with "did write".

I think it may be metrically and historically inaccurate.

honestly I have no idea. "did write" seems to be an iamb though.

Did write is metrically correct (though a trochee) but an obvious act of.desperation. you don't really see the old "did (verb)" in sonnets anymore.

The metrical problems are elsewhere.

Did write is a more grotesque version of leannes had have and my "and so he"

---

Just went back and looked, you used "did write" as an iamb, though the meter really isn't the concern.

[Truerenigma]

Ah, yes, the one with "did write".

I think it may be metrically and historically inaccurate.

honestly I have no idea. "did write" seems to be an iamb though.

Did write is metrically correct (though a trochee) but an obvious act of.desperation. you don't really see the old "did (verb)" in sonnets anymore.

The metrical problems are elsewhere.

Did write is a more grotesque version of leannes had have and my "and so he"

iamb trochee, its all the same thing these days. considering the rest of the old english did write kinda fits anyway. not to say the poem is worth a hoot.

[milo]

honestly I have no idea. "did write" seems to be an iamb though.

Did write is metrically correct (though a trochee) but an obvious act of.desperation. you don't really see the old "did (verb)" in sonnets anymore.

The metrical problems are elsewhere.

Did write is a more grotesque version of leannes had have and my "and so he"

iamb trochee, its all the same thing these days. considering the rest of the old english did write kinda fits anyway. not to say the poem is worth a hoot.

I will submit mine as "publication ready" to that ezine that was fishing for submissions earlier.

[Truerenigma]

Did write is metrically correct (though a trochee) but an obvious act of.desperation. you don't really see the old "did (verb)" in sonnets anymore.

The metrical problems are elsewhere.

Did write is a more grotesque version of leannes had have and my "and so he"

iamb trochee, its all the same thing these days. considering the rest of the old english did write kinda fits anyway. not to say the poem is worth a hoot.

I will submit mine as "publication ready" to that ezine that was fishing for submissions earlier.

You should, I am going to submit my sonnet(which scans fine) as well. Yours has a better chance though, you get extra points for the plains plain and flow flow wordplay.

[Brownlie]

There was a place up north where mountains shook
and lava flowed like lava flowed like blood
and melted ice like proper lava should.
The king, a mighty glacier of Inuk
desired a queen of ice and so he took
his rival's daughter off to bear his brood.
Would hatred stay as strong as frozen mud
or melt like piles of snow in a chinook?

A veil of frost serves as a wedding train;
a seal-skin coat that makes her look as plain
as tundral plains, as dry as frost-bite burns.
No wedding day should be this cold, she yearns
for daffodils, for sun drenched summer rain.
Her bridal bed's adorned with frozen ferns.

Veil of frost reminds me of Milton's nativity ode. This is a pretty good sonnet. Some great word play and a great command of meter and sound. Of course my judgementsare only from a cursory reading though

[milo]

There was a place up north where mountains shook
and lava flowed like lava flowed like blood
and melted ice like proper lava should.
The king, a mighty glacier of Inuk
desired a queen of ice and so he took
his rival's daughter off to bear his brood.
Would hatred stay as strong as frozen mud
or melt like piles of snow in a chinook?

A veil of frost serves as a wedding train;
a seal-skin coat that makes her look as plain
as tundral plains, as dry as frost-bite burns.
No wedding day should be this cold, she yearns
for daffodils, for sun drenched summer rain.
Her bridal bed's adorned with frozen ferns.

Veil of frost reminds me of Milton's nativity ode. This is a pretty good sonnet. Some great word play and a great command of meter and sound. Of course my judgementsare only from a cursory reading though

oh, when did Brownlie return?

Anyway, belatedly, thanks for the read.