contained references to sausage

[cheyrn]

Thanks for the help. The words are still quoted down below if you are interested. Bye.

[cheyrn]

plainly dressed, with drawn-back hair
a voice like sugared prickly pear
her glasses failing to disguise
the lust that blazes from her eyes

nerdess tina slays the boys
though there’s one that she enjoys
tall and dark, with body frigid
he’s a man who’s always rigid

try, she did to roast his wiener
excited by his stark demeanor. though, ("though" should be moved down a line?)
such a trait would not allow
her open fields to meet his plow (so, to speak)

this failure she could not accept, and ("and" should be moved down a line?)
so she had him as he slept

I'm not sure about 'the' instead of 'a'. I see a different word the image 'the', but it could just because it's a different than what I wronte. A lust is independent of her? The lust is hers? I don't know.

This is actually about a woman who is in love with a dead man. So, both frigid and rigid are appropriate, I think. Thoughts? Other than making explicit that it's a dead man.

The words "though" and "and" at the end of the line, is supposed to let you know the emphasis of the syllables. They are "on the up beat". Not good?

I'm going to have punctation problems for a long time, probably. Thanks.

Oh yeah, boys vs. man... Hmm. I don't like slays the men or boy that's always rigid. Also, I think people address "woman" as "girls" to indicate err attraction or something. Same for "men" vs "boys". No?