The astronaut
#1
Edit 1 (ChristopherSea)

Earth's grown smaller
than your feet.
Block out that howling globe;
from now on, it's you
and the humming stars.


Original

Earth's grown smaller
than your feet.
Block out that howling globe:
from now it's you
and the humming stars.
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#2
I love the image and perspective herein! I was wondering if that colon should be a semicolon and it should read thereafter, 'from now on, it's you and the humming stars. All the best in poetry for 2014./Chris
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
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#3
Thanks Chris, and also best wishes to you! Smile I think you're right on both points.

All best,
Jan
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#4
I like the howling and the humming, and of course, the feet. Smile

The edit works well, thanks for posting, a sweet new year to you.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#5
(01-07-2014, 08:59 PM)jdvanwijk Wrote:  Thanks Chris, and also best wishes to you! Smile I think you're right on both points.

All best,
Jan

My pleasure and thanks for the space-walk Jan!
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
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#6
Thank you Ella, and I wish you a great new year as well! Smile
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#7
I really love this Jan! It's disturbing and calming all at once. Even though most of us aren't astronauts, we can very much identify with the feeling the image evokes. Lovely. Thanks for sharing.

-justcloudy
_______________________________________
The howling beast is back.
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#8
Thanks justcloudy! It's always great to hear when something connects.

All best,
Jan
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