< Three reindeer walk into a bar, or, Not in time for Christmas. >

[rayheinrich]

< Three reindeer walk into a bar, or, Not in time for Christmas. >

Three reindeer walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up.
The 1st reindeer asks: "Where is Santa?"
Bartender: "He's down there at the end of the bar."
2nd Reindeer: "Are there any elves here?"
Bartender: "They're down at the end of the bar with Santa."
3rd Reindeer: "Give me a triple vodka martini, easy on the vermouth."
Bartender: "We don't serve reindeer."
3rd Reindeer: "I'm not a reindeer, I'm an elf in a reindeer suit."
The first two reindeer trample the elf to death.
Bartender: "And that's why we don't serve reindeer."
The reindeer walk down to the end of the bar and trample the rest of the elves to death.
Appalled, Santa asks: "Why did you do that?"
1st Reindeer: "The elves are always screwing us around."
Santa "For doing that, you two are going to get coal for Christmas."
2nd Reinreer: "That's OK by me; it's a lot better than getting screwed by elves."
Santa: "You can say that again."
Rudolph prances up to the bar and laps up all of the dead elves drinks;
then his nose turns bright red and he staggers and falls on the floor.
Santa: "This is horrible, now we won't be able to find our way in the fog tonight."
2nd Reindeer: "Sure it's horrible, but that's still a lot better than getting screwed by elves."
Santa: "That's a good point."
1st Reindeer: "We're good at making points, that's because we have antlers.
And by the way, we're also the only mammals that can see ultraviolet light."
Santa: "Why is that?"
1st Reindeer: "It's so we can see white fur and urine in the blinding white light of the arctic day."
Santa: "That's too much information."
2nd Reindeer: "It's still a lot better than getting screwed by elves."
Santa: "This reindeer doth protest too much, methinks."
Bartender: "OK, that's it! Out of the bar, all of you!"
Santa: "I sense someone's going to get coal for Christmas this year."
Bartender: "That's still a lot better than getting screwed by elves."

                                        - - -

[ericerest]

Reading this was a lot better than getting screwed by elves

[billy]

excellent

[rayheinrich]

excellent

Yes, indeed a compliment; and especially so as it comes from someone
who, like myself, processes a passionate (and perverse) fascination
for these little creatures we call elves. But NOT, as our good friend
and frequent companion the bartender will readily attest, for
getting screwed by them.