Blue You

[beaufort]

Blue You

Not bluebird blue, but darker.
Blue like crawling crabs deep underwater,
or curving veins along a fat girl's thigh.
Deeper even than the ocean’s blue;

a life awash with abiding sorrow,
a life of woe, awry.
Blue to make the blues blue -
not sky blue or tattoo blue,

but true blue, with viridian
and alizarin with desire -
ultramarine infused with umber,
the darkest blue to which any blue aspires.

Blue you, blue of unmended hearts,
of deeply bruising bruises
the blue of morgues, the blue of monsters,
blue like that.

Blue you.

[cidermaid]

Hi I actually really like the essence of this one and find that in this case the repititions (that would normally get negative comments) are working well for my read.
I'll only leave a couple of comments for your consideration as this is not really a crit section and you have not asked for them...but if you wish to go down the route of any edits I think this could shape up nicely.
I enjoyed the read.

All the best AJ.

Blue You

Not bluebird blue, but darker.
Blue like crawling crabs deep underwater,
or curving veins along a fat girl's thigh.
Deeper even than the ocean’s blue;

a life away, a life awry
with unalterable sorrow. These two lines feel slightly off. the away / awry thing is Ok as a word play, but they are placed to closely imo to work. I suggest swapping the second of these lines up to read A life away and think about a different word or line for unalterable sorrow - think the sentiment is fine but that word feels clunky... let a life awry sit by itself on a line.
Blue to make the blues blue -
not sky blue or tattoo blue,

but true blue, with viridian
and alizarin with desire -
ultramarine with the deepest umber, the Move the down a line - weak line ending. Also deepest umber ? perhaps burnt umber makes for a stronger paint term and image.
darkest blue to which any blue aspires.

Blue you, blue of unmended hearts,
of deeply bruising bruises
the blue of morgues, the blue of monsters,
blue like that.

Blue you.

[beaufort]

Hi, thanks. I made a few changes per your suggestions, I think it helped. Best

[beaufort]

Hi BedsideFungus, thanks for the read and your comments. I appreciate it!

[nicksherman]

I love your poem. It flowed really well and the idea, in general, just struck me. There are a couple lines I'd change: "the blue of monsters" & "curving veins along a fat girl's thigh." Maybe for the second, you could use "the veins of a heroine addict" or some variation of it? It might go along with the dark blue theme well.

Again, I really enjoyed this. Great job!

[Humbert]

I really enjoyed this poem. The repetition oddly enough worked for me as well. Bravo.