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Senryu (November 29, 2013)

Senryu (November 29, 2013)
Volaticus Offline
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#1
12-15-2013, 09:15 AM

dormant embers
rekindle
a rooster crows
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ellajam Offline
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#2
12-15-2013, 09:35 AM
Oh, I really like this, it is so a winter morning, really well done.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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billy Offline
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#3
12-15-2013, 12:04 PM
i like it a lot, wouldn't change a thing.

i like the succinct 2nd line. Smile
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Volaticus Offline
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#4
12-16-2013, 01:48 AM
(12-15-2013, 09:35 AM)ellajam Wrote:  Oh, I really like this, it is so a winter morning, really well done.

Thanks a lot for your kind feedback, I'm glad you like it. I had an image of a morning in the early spring, but I can easily see it as a winter morning too. Thanks again.
-LB
(12-15-2013, 12:04 PM)billy Wrote:  i like it a lot, wouldn't change a thing.

i like the succinct 2nd line. Smile

Thanks for your kind feedback, billy, I'm glad you like it. To be honest, I had my doubts about the first line and whether it worked well enough. I changed 'dormant' to 'latent' and back again a lot of times, but in the end 'dormant' seemed like the better fit all in all. I think? Thanks again, I appreciate it Smile
-Louise
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Truerenigma Offline
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#5
12-16-2013, 10:46 AM
(12-16-2013, 01:48 AM)Volaticus Wrote:  
(12-15-2013, 09:35 AM)ellajam Wrote:  Oh, I really like this, it is so a winter morning, really well done.

Thanks a lot for your kind feedback, I'm glad you like it. I had an image of a morning in the early spring, but I can easily see it as a winter morning too. Thanks again.
-LB
(12-15-2013, 12:04 PM)billy Wrote:  i like it a lot, wouldn't change a thing.

i like the succinct 2nd line. Smile

Thanks for your kind feedback, billy, I'm glad you like it. To be honest, I had my doubts about the first line and whether it worked well enough. I changed 'dormant' to 'latent' and back again a lot of times, but in the end 'dormant' seemed like the better fit all in all. I think? Thanks again, I appreciate it Smile
-Louise

Nice one vol. I like dormant it better.
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Volaticus Offline
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#6
12-19-2013, 10:20 PM
(12-16-2013, 10:46 AM)trueenigma Wrote:  
(12-16-2013, 01:48 AM)Volaticus Wrote:  
(12-15-2013, 09:35 AM)ellajam Wrote:  Oh, I really like this, it is so a winter morning, really well done.

Thanks a lot for your kind feedback, I'm glad you like it. I had an image of a morning in the early spring, but I can easily see it as a winter morning too. Thanks again.
-LB
(12-15-2013, 12:04 PM)billy Wrote:  i like it a lot, wouldn't change a thing.

i like the succinct 2nd line. Smile

Thanks for your kind feedback, billy, I'm glad you like it. To be honest, I had my doubts about the first line and whether it worked well enough. I changed 'dormant' to 'latent' and back again a lot of times, but in the end 'dormant' seemed like the better fit all in all. I think? Thanks again, I appreciate it Smile
-Louise

Nice one vol. I like dormant it better.

Thanks Smile
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