Homidae Contra Poseidus

[Mitya]

They'd thought they could sail the seven saltiest seas
but they sailed straight to hell; they wander aimlessly
for up went the froth, and dance did the waves
as swam did the sailors down deep to their graves

Poseidon had pulled up the porcelain plug
he'd sent it to smash all their submarine subs.
So that man did retreat but still secretly spoke
as he knelt by it's feet in hushed tones of hope

of the glorious day that he'd tackle this goat
and the glorious way that he'd slit out his throat
and how he would ride under skies open wide
through all of the moats of the seven saltiest seas.

[Polar Bear]

Thanks for the share! I enjoyed the narrative, but there were a couple bumps along the road. See my humble comments below, and good day to you.

They'd thought they could sail the seven saltiest seas
but they sailed straight to hell; they wander aimlessly
for up went the froth, and dance did the waves
as swam did the sailors down deep to their graves - I enjoyed the imagery and rhyme of this stanza.

Poseidon had pulled up the porcelain plug - This line might convey the discrepancy in agency of the God versus the Men, but it does so at great cost of emotional depth - it's just such a hilarious image that it's tough to resume the more somber tone of the lines after.
he'd sent it to smash all their submarine subs. - This is a bit disconcerting: submarine-submarines?
So that man did retreat but still secretly spoke
as he knelt by it's feet in hushed tones of hope - by what did they kneel?

of the glorious day that he'd tackle this goat - The appearance of the goat is sudden and seems distant from the oceanic theme.
and the glorious way that he'd slit out his throat
and how he would ride under skies open wide
through all of the moats of the seven saltiest seas.

[makeshift]

They'd thought they could sail the seven saltiest seas They'd feels odd to me, I guess its "they had" so its putting us in the past but idk idk not sure how I feel about they'd
but they sailed straight to hell; they wander aimlessly
for up went the froth, and dance did the waves
as swam did the sailors down deep to their graves Nice images here but the backwards syntax and language feels needlesly archaic, but thats just my opinion

Poseidon had pulled up the porcelain plug
he'd sent it to smash all their submarine subs. before this line I imagined the poem was taking place in the 18th century, submarines makes it feel a lot more modern but that contradicts the archaic language a bit. That and "submarine subs" feels like its stretching for the rhyme just because "submarines" would have said that same thing I think?
So that man did retreat but still secretly spoke
as he knelt by it's feet in hushed tones of hope

of the glorious day that he'd tackle this goat
and the glorious way that he'd slit out his throat > . > I like this image, poor goat
and how he would ride under skies open wide
through all of the moats of the seven saltiest seas.

Nice little tale here in your poem. It almost feels like a song because of the rhymes, I imagine sailors singing this in a pub. Jmho jmho thnx for sharing

[beaufort]

[font=Verdana]
They'd thought they could sail the seven saltiest seas They thought they could sail the seven salty seas
but they sailed straight to hell; they wander aimlessly -
for up went the froth, and dance did the waves
as swam did the sailors down deep to their graves period

Poseidon had pulled up the porcelain plug Poseidon pulled up the porcelain plug
he'd sent it to smash all their submarine subs. he sent to smash all their submarine subs.
So that man did retreat but still secretly spoke
as he knelt by it's feet in hushed tones of hope

of the glorious day that he'd tackle this goat
and the glorious way that he'd slit out his throat
and how he would ride under skies open wide
through all of the moats of the seven saltiest seas through all of the moats of those seven seas

these are my thoughts - I don't understand "submarine subs" but that may just be me. aargh, wish I had written this!

[dialectical]

I really loved this until the last line of the second stanza (and then I still liked it!). "It's" is a bit uncertain; what is he kneeling by? And to whom (or to what) does the goat refer? If these two things were more certain, then this would really come together. Overall, it's really top-notch and the imagery is beautiful.